


prompts and ficlets

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Family Fluff, Fluff, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Martin the Hedgehog, Ori is a quiet and secret BAMF, Rule 63, Sickness, Unrequited Love, canon character death, courting, dwarves getting lost, getting naked for art, lady dwarves are even more badass than male dwarves, slight angst, too many things to tag if it matter it'll be in the comments or title
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2017-11-28 20:18:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 107
Words: 67,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/678492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>various things done in answer to prompts on tumblr/ gift for friends/ kink meme</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kili/Ori lost in a forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Ori and Kili get lost in a forest, and it gets super cold when it gets dark, pretty please? :)

It had been a terrible idea to go out for a walk at such a late hour, Ori thought. Well. One of many bad ideas, actually. Going above ground had been pretty stupid too. Going with _Kili_ , who had the _legendary_ sense of orientation of the Durin, had also been a clear mistake.

“It’ll be fun, Kili had said. “You’re _fifty_ , how can you never have been in the forest? I have been tons of times.”

“Dori says it’s dangerous.”

“But you’ll be with _me_! I’ll always protect you, you know that, right? I like you way too much to let anything happen to you.”

And after that, resistance had been futile, really. Ori had been too stupidly happy to hear the young prince voice his affection to refuse him anything.

 Which was why he was now shivering under a pine tree, his teeth chattering, the cold seeping through his clothes, as night had fallen sooner than they expected.

“D’you think it’ll snow, Kee?” he stuttered. “I’m freezing. I think we’ll die if it’s snows.”

“Doesn’t snow in spring. Well, not often. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe, and warm, and tomorrow I’ll bring you home. And your brothers will say you never must play with me ever again, but that’s never stopped us before, right?”

“Right. But I’m so _cold_.”

And he was. Ori was fairly sure they were going to die from it, no matter what Kili said.

Except suddenly, he wasn’t so cold anymore, because Kili had pulled him to his chest and covered him with his coat, and everything was nice and warm.

“Share the heat,” the young prince mumbled, and Ori was fairly sure they were both blushing. But he didn’t mind. Forests weren’t so bad, in the end.


	2. Bilbo/Bofur/Thorin Bilbo isn't special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin has an Oaken Shield. Bofur has a hat. Bilbo has no handkerchief and feels like no-one special -until Thorin and Bofur convince him otherwise.

All these dwarves were strange people, Bilbo sometimes thought, and all of them special.

Dwalin was a warrior, Balin was old and wise, Oin was a healer, Gloin was a proud father, Dori was a mother hen, Nori was a thief, Ori was a book worm, Bombur was a cook, Bifur spoke in gibberish, Kili was an adorable idiot, Fili had weapons hidden everywhere.

Though in the hobbit’s eye, the most special ones where Thorin and Bofur.

Thorin was a king, and a warrior, and an uncle, and someone who clearly cared more than he showed.

Bofur was a toymaker, and a prankster sometimes, a good friend always, and someone who wasn’t afraid to show how much he cared.

Whereas Bilbo was… well, he was Bilbo. A hobbit. And in such a company, it really wasn’t much, being a hobbit, especially since even among hobbits, he had never been anything special. He tried his best, still. He was already there, so he might as well try to be helpful, right? But he still felt rather boring, compared to them.

So he asked Dwalin and Balin for old dwarven tales, he helped Oin find some herbs when they stopped, he listened to Goin talking about his family, he exchanged recipes with Dori and Bombur, he laughed at Nori, Kili and Fili’s awful jokes, he helped Bifur with delicate tasks and he exchanged about books with little Ori.

It was more difficult to help Thorin and Bofur. Try as he might, these two didn’t seem to need anything, or at least nothing he could give them, and it made him rather sad. But he still tried. He had not come on this journey to be useless after all, and hobbits had their pride too. He wanted to be part of the company, and to find his place among them.

Until one day these two came to him, and offered him what they called an _agreement_. Bilbo had protested, he was just a hobbit, things didn’t work like that in the Shire, there would be sleeping logistics to mind, and really, why him, he was nothing _special_.

“Ye’re Bilbo Baggins, from Bag End,” Bofur had answered with a laugh. “If that doesn’t make you special, then nothing will.”

“But…”

“And you have been as faithful a companion as any other, despite having nothing to gain from this quest,” Thorin added. “There are few who would risk what you are risking, or dare what you are daring, and that is why we want you.”

And, really, how could Bilbo resist after that?


	3. Ori/Dwalin Dwalin is a kinder dwarf than he looks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: When he was a kid, Thorin got lost in the scary woods but Dwalin found him and brought him safely back home. Now, he sees how Dwalin looks at Ori, and he nows all will be well.

Thorin knew Dwalin better than anyone else. They had been through much together, battles and jobs, bad times and better ones. Thorin knew his friend could be ruthless, and was potentially more dangerous than any orc or troll they had ever encountered. He’d seen him break a goblin’s neck with his bare hands, more than once.

But he knew there was more to Dwalin than that. Thorin remembered getting lost in an unused part of a mine once, when he was still young and a real prince of Erebor, and he had twisted an ankle. Many had looked for him, but it had been Dwalin, barely a child then, who had found him first. Thorin remembered that small lad, whom he had until then known to be loud and in a perpetual state of excitement, treating him with unexpected care, checking on his wound as delicately as the best of healers, then helping him walk back to his folks.

It wasn’t a side of himself Dwalin showed often. Their life had been such that kindness had had little place in it. But Thorin had never forgotten that day.

And now they were on their great quest, and Dwalin, for some reason, had adopted Ori. Whether the warrior wanted that small lad as a brother or a lover, Thorin neither knew nor cared. It was of little importance. All that mattered was that Ori was in good hands.


	4. Ori/Kili courting gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orilik - giving each other courting presents (idk: hair beads, drawings, knitted stuff, engraved inker etc.)

Courting, for dwarves, was a complex thing that could take years, even decades in some cases. Ori did not have that much time. They had almost died too many times on this quest to afford taking _years_ to make his intentions clear. Propriety be damned, he wanted Kili, and he wanted him _now_.

According to the rules of such things, he had to make a present to the other, something useful that he made entirely by himself. Which was why it could take so long to declare yourself. Dwarves were by nature perfectionists, and it would have been insulting to try to declare yourself with anything but your best work. Ori wasn’t sure he could manage that, not with orcs and gobelins and eagles everywhere, but he’d try hard.

It took him _days_ , and he was constantly disturbed by everyone. Ori had hoped that at Beorn’s at least, he would get some peace, but in the end it was worse than ever, because after the first day there everyone soon got bored. And bored dwarves, apparently, had nothing better to do with their lives than to bother Ori. Every single one of them.

Except for Kili, who had been avoiding him since the Carrock.

Well, Ori could live with that. It was a difficult time for everyone, the young prince had had a lot on his mind lately. And anyway, it would all be better once Kili had received his present.

Ori kept working while they were riding towards Mirkwood, and for a while after they had entered the forest. The fingerless gloves he had knitted were not his best looking, but they were warm, and could be used even while shooting with a bow. He wanted to give them to Kili when they had left the forest, so that they might have a chance for privacy. But with each new day, it became clearer that they might never leave Mirkwood alive, that it would become their tomb.

There was not much time left, and Ori wanted to spend it with Kili. So one night, after Bombur had fallen into the enchanted river, the young scholar took the prince appart, and gave him the gloves. The smile on Kili’s face as he put them on could only be matched by the one Ori must have had when Kili gave him two delicately carved knitting needle, soon followed by a soft kiss.

And if they died in that stupid forest, then it would have been worth it


	5. Bilbo/Bofur/Thorin Bilbo gets new clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo's clothes got torned beyond repair during their quest. He gets new one made. Bofur and Thorin approve.

The problem with going on quests and defeating dragons, Bilbo thought, was that it did terrible things to your clothes. Well, one of the problems, if he were honest. Dragons and orcs and great battles were also rather bad. Because they made a mess of your clothes.

Not that Bilbo was a vain hobbit, of course. Certainly not. But one had to look proper, when one was a personal friend and advisor of the King under the Mountain, after all. Which, apparently, he was. He wasn't sure why. Thorin could easily have found a better excuse to keep him around. Royal Consort-to-be was already taken, by Bofur, but they would have come up with something better than _royal advisor_ for a hobbit who didn't know a thing about dwarves, except that they were loud in public, and unexpectedly cuddly in private. And he wasn't even sure that last part was right for the entire species, or just the two he knew the best.

Granted, Thorin had not been in any state to think, when he'd given him the title. The king had been rather feverish, and for days they had feared for his health, Bilbo and Bofur taking turns at his side. Then, as his health improved, there had been much to do, and no time to find a better excuse as to why Bilbo was constantly there, and the title had stuck. Royal advisor.

Well, wouldn't the folk back home find _that_ ridiculous.

Still, Bilbo took his job very seriously, and did his best to learn as much about dwarves as he could. That mostly meant he asked the members of the company every single question he could think of, and sometimes, if they were in a good mood, they would answer. It was a lot of work.

Thorin thought it was _cute_ of him.

Bofur offered to help him with the most unusual parts of dwarven culture, and wiggle his eyebrow.

 _Damn_ these dwarves. Bilbo was a serious, thorough hobbit, and just because his job was fake didn't mean he shouldn't do it properly.

“If you truly want be seen as my advisor, acting like it will not be enough,” Thorin told him one night, as the three of them shared a bed.

It was a cold night. What with being winter, and all. Had to share the warmth.

“Dwarves won't take you seriously, dressed as you are,” the king continued.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that borrowing one of Ori's cardigans, and a pair of Fili's trousers might have been a practical choice, and even a comfortable one, I will not deny it. But it certainly does not improve your appearance, and considering that both lads are bigger than you, these garments do nothing to compensate certain traits that are due to your species.”

“What he means is ye look like a babe,” Bofur translated, “what with being dressed with stuff too big for you and having a smooth lil' face.”

Bilbo frowned.

“Well, I can't help my face, can I? I've tried growing a beard, when we were in Mirkwood, and we both know how _that_ ended.”

Both dwarves nodded. It had ended with the three them not leaving their room in Esgaroth for a full two days, then Bofur and Thorin convincing the hobbit to shave it, because they did not like the way some members of the company suddenly seemed to become very friendly toward their burglar. Not that Bilbo knew that, of course. They had just told him that it did look that great on him.

“You're _not_ growing a beard again,” Thorin decided. “But something might be arranged for your clothes. There is a tailor in Esgaroth, I am told, and one who is good at her job. If you go with Bombur for his next trip to the market, I'll give you gold to have a proper outfit made. I will have to ask Balin and Ori, but I am sure we could even find some dwarven patterns to be used, and then you will _really_ look like an advisor.”

“Or like an overgrown babe in fancy dress,” Bofur teased.

Bilbo deigned not answer that.

 

In the end, he did go to Esgaroth, and the tailor readily agreed to make him anything he wished. The challenge to work on a body type so unusual, and with a pattern she had never used before, was so thrilling to her that Bilbo could not convince her to accept his money.

“If the clothes are bad, it wouldn't be fair of me to make you pay for them,” she explained. “If they are good, all the dwarves in the mountain will want to have the same ones, and I'll soon be richer than the Master. So keep your money, and let me try this.”

One thing Bilbo had to give her was that she worked fast, because when he left, three days later, his new outfit was finished. Then again, if really she hoped to make a fortune by selling to dwarves, it must have been a good motivation, and she _did_ have the look of someone who hadn't slept for a while when Bilbo saw her again.

“It's my best work,” she announced proudly. “I'm not sure what species you are exactly, but the lasses will fall to your feet if they see you wearing that!”

And it did look rather good, if Bilbo said so himself. To quote something he had heard Fili say on occasions: _he would hit that_.

He thanked the woman, tried again to pay her, which she refused, and left.

 

It was no surprise that the first thing Thorin and Bofur asked of him was to see his new clothes. Dwarves, as a rule, were a very curious sort, as Bilbo had learned long ago, thought they all denied it vehemently. Children, the lot of them, nosy and acting like everyone was their business. Which it _was_ , this time, but that was not the point.

To keep the surprise, Bilbo had gone into a small room beside their bedroom to get dressed, while his lovers waited for him and joked about him not wanting to undress before them. They often teased him about that, and about his shyness. Had he not been otherwise occupied, Bilbo would have fought back by messing with their braids, just to teach them that you _didn't_ make fun of hobbits.

But he had enough on his hands already. _Damn_ these dwarves, the ten layers of clothes they deemed necessary, and all the laces they put everywhere. It took Bilbo nearly half an hour to get dressed, and even then he still wasn't sure he had everything right, but it would have to do.

Thorin and Bofur were chatting in Kuzdhul when the hobbit came back in the room, but they stopped at soon as he came in, and stared. Bilbo expected them to say something, _anything_ , but they just kept looking at him in silence, and he started panicking. Had he done something wrong? He had rather liked the way he looked in these clothes, but maybe by dwarvish standards, he looked horribly silly?

“We cannot let you dress like that in public,” Thorin eventually said. “It simply will not do. This... this is even worse than the _beard_.”

“Is it _that_ bad?” Bilbo squealed. “I thought it was nice, but... Oh, that's just too bad, I'll go back to Ori's cardigans then...”

“Don't know 'bout the cardigans,” Bofur said, licking his lips, “but one thing's sure, we have to get ye out of these. Now.”

“Indeed,” Thorin agreed, moving toward Bilbo. “You really cannot remain so. And since it took you so long to put them on in the first place, I think it our duty to help you remove these clothes. Out of pure kindness.”

Bilbo frowned, slowly catching up. “Wait, do you actually _like_ the way in look in these?”

“Oh, d'ye think?” Bofur teased, starting to untie a knot. “Now that ye mention it, that's highly possible. D'ye agree, m'king?”

Thorin nodded, a predatory smirk on his lips, before kissing Bilbo. Bilbo who thought that he might have to go again to Esgaroth and get a suit that fitted him a little less next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as a note of interest, here is my tumblr: http://tagath.tumblr.com/  
> asks are open, even to anon, so feel free to drop a prompt :D Or leave one in the comments:D My fav pairings are obvious by this point, but I'm willing to ~experiment~


	6. Ori/Kili Dwalin/Fili small wound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili gets wounded, whether it's serious or just a mild scratch is up to you, and Ori fusses over it, because, geez, it could get INFECTED, Fili. Cue, Dwalin being suspicious and Kili moping around because, big brother, that's my soulmate, kthx.

Sometimes, Ori felt like he was the _only one_ in the company to have any sort of common sense. Him and Oin, maybe. Because clearly, they were the only two who realized that wounds, no matter how small, were a danger when you were on such a travel. All these idiots had fought battle, and not one of them seemed to have ever heard of infection. Bloody idiots, the whole lot, and if he could, Ori would show them some of the books he’d read, with their pictures of gangrene. That would teach them.

Well, they were not all of them that bad. Dwalin seemed to carefully watch even his smallest scratches and to keep them clean. If he noticed them. Ori had made an habit to point them out, every single one of them, just to make sure. But others didn’t even try to do things right, and they’d all be lucky if they didn’t lose someone before the end of the quest.

Ori was betting on Fili being the one to die from infection. The damn prince was so _careless_. Not quite as reckless as Kili, but somehow a little more clumsy, and there wasn’t a day when he didn’t end up with a few scratches on his hands or face. It had taken Ori a while to notice it (Kili, from the start, had been a much more interesting object of attention, with his weird elfish face that felt so nice to draw) but now that he knew it, it was the most annoying thing in the world.

Wasn’t his business, of course. And fussing over Fili, when he wasn’t a proper healer like Oin, would have looked like he was trying to seduce him, or to express interest of some sort, which was the last thing he could want. But it kept nagging him. Someone had to do something. And when Fili managed to cut his hand again while cleaning a rabbit shot by his brother, Ori decided that someone would be him, propriety be damned.

He walked straight to the blonde prince, caught his hand, and started looking at it, not minding Dwalin’s shocked grunt or Kili’s horrified look.

“You’ve gotta wash this,” the young dwarf grumbled. “Looks deep enough. Might need a few stitches. Can’t you be a little more careful?”

“Sorry,” Fili stammered, blushing. “Knife slipped, and… Can’t you… shouldn’t you… isn’t that s’pposed to be _Oin’s_ job?”

“Yeah, but you never go and show him those, and I don’t want you to die, so that just means I’ve got to take care of it myself, right? Now stop moving for a moment while I clean it. Good thing I have fabric to remove the ink from my quill, and that it’s still mostly clean. And I told you to stop moving!”

Fili was struggling to free his hand, throwing terrified looks to both Dwalin and Kili.

“You can’t do that, Ori!” he growled. “I am… sorry if you have any interest in me…” next to him, Kili stood up, tears in his eyes, and ran to their uncle. “…but I am already trying to court someone else, so it’s best if you… don’t insist, and…”

“I ain’t interested in _you_!” Ori yelled, shocked by the very idea of it. “I wouldn’t want you if you were the _last_ dwarf alive! I want… someone else, not that it’s any of your business! I’m just doing this ‘cause you’re an idiot, and it will make Dwalin and Kili sad if you die, and I don’t want them to be sad!”

“Oh. Hm. Which one of them do you… why would it make Dwalin… I mean…”

“Shut up and let me clean this,” Ori grumbled loudly. Then, low enough that no one else could hear, he added “I give them two minutes, before Dwalin drags you away because he think he knows more about wounds than me, and once that’s done, you better help me with Kili. Deal?”

Fili threw him a surprised look, then smiled.

“Deal.”


	7. Dwalin/Ori second love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dawlin/ori- dawlin has had his heart broken before, but he is willing to give ori a chance

Dwalin's first love had been a handsome young lad, small and blond, _golden_ , the sweetest thing he had ever seen. Clever, too, always reading and composing poetry. And delicate, almost as much as an elf, barely capable of lifting a sword, let alone an axe. Dwalin could have broken that little thing of a dwarf with his bare hands, if he had wanted to. But that was one thing he'd never have wanted. Not even when, after years of patient courting, of precious gifts and heartfelt poems, of convincing him to give him a chance to prove his worth and his love the lad had broken off their recent engagement.

It had been after Smaug, and Dwalin had protected him when the dragon had attacked. It had earned him a few scars, but that was better than having to live without him. He hadn't expected his beloved to come to him the day right after they had fled, to tell him all was over between them.

"Don't act surprised, Dwalin. There's just nothing to keep us together now. You wanted a pretty thing to show off, I wanted a good position. These things don't really matter anymore now."

"But I _love_ ye!"

"Then you're a fool and an idiot. You're not made to love, Dwalin. You're a warrior, you're made to destroy and kill. Really, you didn't think your pityful attempt at courting could ever have worked, right? The only thing you had for you was that everyone knew you'd be head of the King's Guard one day, but there's not Guard now. But don't worry, I'll always think fondly of you, in the future."

Dwalin knew he could have forced him to stay. An engagement was an important thing, and Dwalin, as the highest ranking one, could have requested that the lad married him anyway. But why keep someone who no longer wanted him, who had _never_ wanted him?

Some years later, he heard the lad and his wife had died, like so many others, at Azanulbizar, where they had come as healers. Dwalin had not cried. He wasn't sure he still could at that point.

* * *

 

Years had passed, cold and lonely. The lad had been right: Dwalin wasn't made for love, and his life was better that way.

But then, something happened. And like many of Dwalin's problems since they had started living in Ered Luin, it was entirely because of a thief named Nori. Most of Dwalin's problems with that one came from the fact that, deep down, he rather _liked_ Nori, and that they'd have been friends if Nori had been just slightly more honest. Dwalin had even offered him to join the guards, if he needed money that badly, but the other dwarf had refused. It was the freedom he liked, more than the money.

And with an older brother like Dori, Dwalin could understand that anyone would value freedom about anything else. And he knew the dwarf had a younger brother too, though Nori seemed relunctant to talk about him.

The first time Dwalin saw little Ori, he understood Nori's reluctance.

The young dwarf was just as small and golden and delicate as his beloved had been, all these years ago. Even layers of wools couldn't quite hide how charming the boy was. By all means, he should have reminded Dwalin of _him_. And maybe he did, at first. But it didn't last. The only ressemblance was physical, as Dwalin soon realized.

He remembered his beloved, proud, knowing how handsome he was, how wanted he was, and using it to his advantage. Even before Smaug, Dwalin had known the dwarf he loved was anything but perfect, but he had been young, and foolishly in love. He had accepted many humiliation, been belittled for being slow, unlearned, clumsy, and pretty much good for nothing except fighting. But then, the other dwarf would smile as he said these horrors, and just that smile was worth every moment of pain.

Ori was entirely different. He'd never insult anyone, for example, mostly because he was so shy that for a while Dwalin thought him mute. But even without words, there was an obvious kindness to everything he did, from the way he'd help Dori when they were at the market, to his shy smile as he'd give away one of his drawings to a kid who had begged for it. Ori was... lovely.

Not that Dwalin was tempted in any way to approach him. He'd learned that lesson long ago. And Ori was far too young and fragile for someone like him.

Or maybe not so fragile, really.

When he wasn’t drawing or writing, the lad was always stuck with Kili and Fili, and Mahal knew these two were always up to something stupid. To survive in their company, Ori had to be tougher than he looked. And during one of their entirely-nit-planned-at-all meetings in a tavern, Nori had told him that even though his mains interest laid in books, he’d trained the boy himself so that he could use an axe or a war-hammer just as well as the next dwarf.

“Or a slingshot,” Nori had then chuckled. “All the weapons in the world, and that’s what the little one has chosen for himself. Tells you all you need to know about him, eh?”

It did tell Dwalin something, indeed. A very stupid thing, one that he could not make sense of, even years later. But suddenly, thinking of young Ori, with his books, his slingshot and that shy smile he had sometimes, Dwalin decided that maybe, it was time to give love another chance.

* * *

 

The first time he gave Ori a present (a book of old tales, with colourful illuminations), the look of pure joy and affection on the little one’s face told him he had been right to take that risk.


	8. Ori/Kili awkward first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili's and Ori's feelings before and after their first time + they would have the most awkward virgin!sex

They hadn't planned it. Not exactly. Sure, Ori had stolen some oil in the kitchen ( _borrowed_ , he called it, until Kili pointed out that it would be more polite if they _didn't_ give it back afterward). And Kili might have been exploring Beorn's house for the better part of the afternoon to find a nice and quiet place, well away from brothers of all sorts. And they had both been careful not to drink too much, too. But none if it was planned as such, since they had never, at any point, come to talk about trying to make love.

Just thinking about it made Ori blush. Now that was something he hadn't thought he'd get to do before he was at least a hundred, if even then. He'd already accepted that he'd probably remain alone. Until Kili had arrived, and had shyly, clumsily courted him, and Ori had been quick to fall for him.

It hadn't been easy to sustain a romance during the quest. Especially not with everyone trying to make sure they didn't get any private time at all, for fear they acted improper. In the end, all they had managed to do was a bit of kissing here and there, and some heavy petting in Rivendell, thought _that_ hadn't gone very far before Thorin, of all people, had found them. He hadn't said a thing of course, but the way he had looked at them made it clear that they were very much encourage to _not_ engage in such behaviour in the house of elves.

But this time, no one would stop them. Everyone was either drunk, or discussing with lovers of their own. Sometimes both at once. The two young dwarves found it awfully easy to slip away, unnoticed.

"I'm a bit nervous," Kili admitted, taking Ori's hand as they walked to the hiding place they'd found. "I've never... done anything like this."

"Me neither. Read books, though."

"So you know how this works, then?"

Ori started nodding, then suddenly shook his head instead. He _had_ read books. Elvish love poetry. Some of it was awfully vague, the rest was clinically precise. Neither really helped, in the end. Proof you could never count on elves, really.

But he didn't have much time to dwell on that idea, as Kili pushed him against a wall and started kissing him, more passionately than anything they'd ever shared before. All Ori could do was pull  Kili closer, tighter, burrowing one hand on his dark mane, the other on his back.

"I think I like it better if neither of us knows how it works," Kili whispered with a huge grin. "At least like that, it will be just as embarrassing for both of us."

"And how is that a good thing, exactly?"

"Well, you're adorable when you blush, for one thing," Kili said with a quick peck to his lips, and Ori was fairly sure he did blush then. "And let's face it, we're going to be _awful_ at it anyway, but if we're the same level of awful, it will motivate us to... practice a lot after."

That made Ori giggle, until Kili kissed him again, more tenderly this time.

* * *

 

"That was..."

"Yes. It certainly was."

"You... up for another round any time soon, then?"

"Well, I _do_ remember someone saying we ought to practice. To get better at it and all."

"Mahal, yes. Lots of practicing to do here. Very important. Practicing. We wouldn't want to look like we don't take it seriously. Always said so. Practicing is capital. You gotta do it. Important. Very important."

"Kili?"

"Yeah, love?"

"Stop _blabbling_ and come _practice_ me."

 


	9. Kili/Ori unrequited love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kili loves ori but ori does think he's stupid or too rash for him, and that leads to many horror and maybe kili killing himself?  
> (I did not do the suicide thing, just feel like pointing it out in case)

Kili had thought it was now or never. They were on the edge of battle, and by next evening, they might all have died. And he wasn't scared as such, there was glory in such a death, in giving up everything you had for _glory_. But he would have hated to leave anything unresolved if he died. Things like that could have you turn into a ghost, after all.

As it happened, Kili didn't have many unfinished business to take care of. He was an honest dwarf, with more heart than brains, and when he usually said or did everything that he needed to say or do as soon as he would think about it. The only exception was his feelings for Ori.

He didn't know exactly when he had started feeling so strongly for the company's scholar. He certainly had not thought much of him at first, small little thing of a dwarf that Ori was. But, slowly, with every new day, Kili had become fond of him, until that fondness had become more. It was in the elves dungeons that he had realized it was not an infatuation, but true and proper love.

Fili had told him not to act on him. A quest was no time for such things, they were all under too much pressure, and, perhaps more important, he had barely ever talked to Ori, so a sudden declaration of love might frighten their small scholar. Kili had protested that it wasn't for lack of trying, that Ori's brother were always driving him away from his beloved, that it wasn't fair, but in the end he had agreed.

But things were different, now. They were going to die on the battlefield, that much was almost certain. If he didn't tell Ori that night, then he might never have another occasion. And, a true sign of Fate, Dori and Nori had both left their brother alone for a while, so Kili was free to approach him.

His declaration of love was not one which would go down in history. Kili had never had a way with words. But he tried his best, and he said things as they were. He loved Ori, he had for a long time, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, to marry him and give him a good home, to do everything he could to make him happy.

When he finally stopped talking, Ori was frowning. Definitively not a good sign.

"Is this your idea of a joke?" the scholar asked. "'Cause it's not funny. You shouldn't joke about feelings."

"I'm not laughing! I am perfectly serious! I want you, and I _love_ you, more than anything in the world!"

Ori had looked doubtful for a moment, then a sad look came upon his pretty face.

"If it's true, then I'm sorry," he said. "I'm not interested in... feelings and the such. Nothing personal, I'm just... well, I've got my books, see? And that's what's important, that's what matter to me. If I started falling in love, there'd be less time for my books, and for the knitting. I just don't have time for that. But honestly, even if I were interested in courting, it's not really like we have anything in common, right?"

They did have a lot in common, Kili wanted to scream. They were both young, with an overprotective family that they'd had to convince they were old enough for this quest. They were both passionate about what they did, be it archery or writing. They had the same sense of humor, though Ori rarely allowed himself to show his.

But he said nothing. All dwarves knew that there were some among their kind that cared more for their trade than they ever would for the company of others. There was no fighting it.

Ori would never be his, or anyone else's.


	10. various pairing, fluff happens at Beorn's (happy valentine day)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arriving at Beorn's house had made the entire company feel safe again, for the first time in weeks, and it had given them the occasion to think about things. All sorts of things, really.
> 
> But mostly romance, apparently, which Dori did not approve at all.

Arriving at Beorn's house had made the entire company feel safe again, for the first time in weeks, and it had given them the occasion to think about things. All sorts of things, really.

But mostly romance, apparently, which Dori did not approve at all.

Part of his disapproval was due to the fact that the first ones to come together had been Kili and Ori, his sweet, young, innocent little Ori. Well. He had thought Ori was innocent. But when Dori had found these two entertaining themselves behind the house, no one could have ignored the fact that Ori was clearly the one to have iniated the whole thing, and that his kisses were rather enthusiastic. Dori had quickly ordered them to seperate. He had sent Kili away, before scolding his brother for his dreadfully shameful behaviour, and he has thought that Ori seemed to regret his actions.

One hour later, both lads had disappeared again, nowhere to be found.

It was while looking for the two children (and they _were_ children, no matter what they seemed to think) that Dori had found Dwalin and Fili.

The two seemed to have found a quite place outside, and were practicing hand to hand combat. Dori approved of that. He wasn't much of a fighter himself, but he had always appreciated those who knew how to use their strength. And Dwalin was a dwarf he rather liked. He was friendly, in his own way, and he always had time for the younger members of the company. Great friend he had been for Ori. Taught him how to fight and the such. It was good to know he was also taking care of Fili.

At some point during their training, they must have fallen to the ground, but that hadn't prevented them from still wrestling. Dori approved of that, too. Fighting until the very end. Good philosophy, that. And they put all their heart into it, too, grunting and... groaning... and _kissing_?

Dori had blushed at that, before quickly going away.

If you couldn't even count on warriors to respect decency, where was the world going?

But the worse was still to come. Dori had always been an early riser. A great quality, or so he had always thought. On their second morning at Beorn's, Dori discovered that all moral and propriety had entirely been forgotten by the company. Ori and Kili were sleeping side by side, a sweet smile on their lips, while not far from them Fili was half laying on top of Dwalin, who had one hand on the prince's shoulder.

This was just too much. He had to tell Thorin. Something had to be done, or soon everyone would be frolicking in the fields and kissing all day long, no longer caring that they had a quest to accomplish. Thorin had to act, and soon.

Only, it was already too late. For when Dori found the king, he was asleep too, holding Bofur close to him. Bofur and Bilbo. Both of them. One on each side. In bed. With the king. At the same time. Looking happy and content, as if they didn't care at all that this was the most improper thing to have ever happened in the entire world. And sure, it was nice to see Thorin smiling again at last, but that was no reason to forget morals.

But at least, that meant there would be weddings once they'd be in Erebor (and he'd made sure of that, wether they liked it or not) and that was always something to look forward to.

 


	11. Ori/Kili, cute pet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori finds a cute little animal and decides to keep it, but Thorin doesn’t approve and he has to hide it. Kili notices it, and shares his secret

They had eaten the mother and the other cubs, but Ori had managed to save one of the small hedgehogs. It was stupid of him, he knew it, but the little creature had looked so lost and helpless. It had reminded him of himself, to be honest. Small and defenceless and useless now that it didn't have his family to take care of him.

He had hidden it, of course. Dori would have scolded him for stealing meat, Nori would have made fun of him, and Thorin would have disapproved, simply because he disapproved everything that wasn't their quest or Bilbo and Bofur's bottoms. But Ori didn't care. No one ever paid him any attention anyway.

 Hedgehogs, he knew, ate worms and insect. These were easy enough to find, especially if he just managed to wake up a little before his brother, which he always did.

For the first few days, that worked well. Dwalin was often the one to keep watch at the end of the night (insomnia, he'd once told Ori) and he was... well, sort of friendly toward the young scholar, and he didn't smother him half as much as the rest of the company. So if Dwalin noticed him gathering bugs every morning (and how could he _not_ have seen it?) he chose not to comment on it. Ori was even half tempted to introduce him to Martin (fine name for a hedgehog, he had decided), but he had decided against it in the end. He was still worried his new friend might end up in a stew.

But on the fourth morning, Ori woke up to find that Kili on watch duty, rather than Dwalin. This was awful. The young prince was a nice enough fellow, but he was curious like a cat, and about as good at sticking his elfish nose where he shouldn't have. Still, Martin needed to be fed, so Ori just got up, trying to think of a good excuse for the questions that were sure to come.

To his surprise, Kili said nothing. He just stared at him for a while, before looking away to take care of his arrows.

Ori was glad of the young prince sudden discretion, and he had soon found everything he needed for Martin, and even a bit more. His little friend wouldn't go hungry today.

For the rest of the day, Ori was perfectly happy and careless. The weather was awfully nice, neither too hot or too cold, and everyone was in a good mood, even their burglar, who seemed to be getting used to travelling. When they stopped at night, the small hobbit even agreed to share with them one or two of the songs of his people, and they all had a joyful time.

Ori didn't participate in the singing, of course. He didn't trust his voice for that, and anyway he was a lot more interested in writing down these news songs, so different from those of the dwarves. He tried to take as many notes as he could, wishing he had a better knowledge of music so that he might try to keep the tunes too. This, as far as he was concerned, was the best evening one could hope for.

Until Kili came to sit by him, so close that their knees and elbows were touching. Kili never sat with him. Kili never sat with anyone who wasn't his brother. Yet there he was, and with that huge puppy smile of his too, the one that always meant trouble.

"Can I see it?" the young prince asked.

"What? My notebook? It's not much yet, I'm supposed to record everything that happens on the quest, but so far nothing has happened, so..."

"I don't mean that. Well, I'd like to see it too, if that's okay. But... I know you got yourself a little pet. Can I see it?"

Ori felt his blood turn cold. How did he know? Had he seen Martin? Had Ori been less discreet than he'd thought? _Was he going to want to eat Martin?_

Kili must have noticed how tense he was, because suddenly Ori felt an arm on his shoulder, dragging him closer to the young prince. It did _nothing_ to help his nervousness.

"Relax," Kili whispered to the scholar's ear. "I haven't told anyone, and I won't if you don't want me to. I just want to see it, yeah?"

"You _swear_ you won't give him to Bombur? I know it's... I shouldn't have taken him, and it's like stealing food, but... He's my friend now, and I don't want anyone to eat him."

Kili laughed at that. "I swear. I'd swear to anything you want, Ori. Now show me that little thing that has so much of your attention. I want to know who's my rival."

That choice of words surprised Ori, as did the faint blush on the prince's cheek and his bashful expression, but he decided not to comment on it. Kili had a strange sense of humour sometimes. Instead, Ori picked up his bag, were Martin was carefully hidden, and opened it to show the small hedgehog.

"It's so cute!" Kili almost squealed. "I get why you saved it, it'd be a shame to eat something that adorable! Oh, can I help you take care of it? I'll do anything you tell me, and it'll be easier like that, and I swear I won't let anyone know and I'll help you hide it!"

"Well, I don't know..."

" _Pleaaaaaaaaaase_?"

"Oh. Well. Okay then. Hm, Martin likes all sorts of bugs, but his favourite thing seems to be worms. And..."

They talked for a long time about the proper way to take care of a hedgehog, dividing the tasks and trying to think of ways to make the travel more comfortable for the little fellow. Ori didn't think of the songs anymore, too enraptured by his conversation with the young prince, and the feeling must have been mutual because Kili only left him when his uncle called him, and even then with obvious regrets.

It was only later, as he was trying to sleep, that Ori realized the prince had kissed him on the cheek when he had left.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hesitated between John and Martin to name the hedgehog, but in the end John seemed really too weird in a middle-earth context.  
> That was your useless piece of information of the day.


	12. Ori/Kili cute pet 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of Kili and Ori and the hedgehog was really cute! x3 Do you mind to continue it!? Maybe how the two dwarves take care of Martin and come together while searching for nourishment

It was surprisingly easy, being friend with Kili, and accepting his help to care for Martin. Ori had never spoken much to the prince before, because Dori had made it clear that even though they were companions, they didn’t belong to the same world.

But Kili was nice, and he was terribly kind, especially with Martin. He’d always find him the nicest bugs and worms, and now the little hedgehog was strong and content. But he wasn’t fat, no matter what Kili said.

“He’s a healthy little thing, that’s all,” Ori corrected, as they were having lunch a few feet away from the rest of the group. “You can’t go about calling him fat, or he’ll grow up to have issues.”

Kili grinned, and slipped his hand in Ori’s bag to scratch Martin’s belly.

“He’s got your eyes,” the prince said, very seriously. “But he’s got my hair, poor thing. Though I imagine a blond hedgehog would look a bit ridiculous.”

Ori snorted. “You say such _stupid_ things sometimes.”

“You can’t talk to me like that in front of the kid,”Kili complained. “It gives him the wrong idea.”

“The kid?”

“Martin. Gosh, Ori, I’m raising him as much as you are, clearly I’m his parent as much as you are.”

“Does it make you his father then?”

“Certainly not,” Kili said with a smirk. “I’m the mother, I’m here to be nice and tender and to cuddle him. You’re the father, taking care of finding food and making discipline. So in the end, he’ll love me better than you. Sad, but true.”

“You sound lazy more than motherly,” Ori teased. “I’m not sure why I even married you.”

Kili took his hand then, and quickly kissed his cheek, a faint blush on his face.

“You married me because I love you very much, and because I promised you I’d make you and your son very happy.”

Ori stared at him in shock, unsure if they were still joking or not. But before he could ask any questions, Thorin declared that lunch was over, and that they had to start moving again.

He’d have to ask at dinner then. But if he were honest, he wouldn’t mind it too much if Kili had been serious.


	13. Ori/Kili - Pet pt3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Martin the Hedgehog had made an appearance near the end of this little collection (chapters 11 and 13 I think)(I'll try to reorder things so this is all together anyway)

Ori had been sent to gather wood on his own, and he’d taken Martin with him. He could have left him with Kili, hidden in the bad that had become the hedgehog’s home, but it was good for Martin to get to walk a bit.

Beside, Ori liked the company. It gave him someone to talk to. Someone who wasn’t his brothers (they were quite out of the question on the subject that bothered Ori) nor Kili (who  _was_  the subject bothering him).

"Do you think he meant that?" Ori asked the hedgehog. "About loving me?"

Martin, unsurprisingly, didn’t answer. Sometimes Kili pretend to talk for it, saying the silliest of things, and it always made Ori giggle so hard that his brothers and Thorin looked at them suspiciously. But on its own, the hedgehog was a rather quiet little pet.

"I don’t know if I want him to be serious," Ori continue, unperturbed by the silence. "I mean, he’s a prince and I’m… well, I don’t even know my dad’s name. It’s not really a good start, right?"

Martin nuzzled a dead leaf, as if Kili hadn’t given him several huge worms for dinner already.

"You’re just spoiled," Ori told the hedgehog, trying to sound stern. "It’s all his fault, too. He’s too nice. And he’s always joking. He’s a little reckless too. Are you going to turn up like him, Martin?"

The little creature entirely ignored him. It had found a worm.

"He’s rather pretty in a way though," Ori mused. "And he’s funny for sure. And very nice. I really thought he’d want to eat you, Martin, but he didn’t. You know, I think it would be nice if we could be a little in love, him and me. Not for serious, because, well, he’s a prince, but just a little, for fun, until we get to the mountain."

Ori considered the idea for a moment. Yes, there was a certain appeal to it. It was very easy to imagine Kili kissing him… and they’d never hugged as such, but Kili had taken his hand once or twice, which had been nice, and they often sat together during meals to talk about Martin, and that was nice too.

Yes, Ori quite liked the idea of being just a  _little_  in love.  _Reasonably_  so, of course.

Especially since Kili was doing such a great job helping him raise Martin.


	14. Ori/Kili Ori got hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori gets lost, captured, or sick. Kili may or may not freak out and try to rescue him with extreme recklessness."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't exactly answer that prompt, sorry... I got carried away D:

It had been clear to all that Ori had been unwell since their awful encounter with Azog. At least, it had been clear to Kili, who spend more time watching the other dwarf than was strictly necessary.

He'd seen how Ori was shivering, when they were all on top of the Carrock, but that hadn't worried him. Well. Not that much. The young dwarf had almost died after all, first in the mines, and then again when he'd slipped from the tree, and it was a rather cold night. Kili had tried to offer him to share hos coat (for warmth, no hanky-panky) but Dori had thrown him a dark look, and he'd given up on the idea.

The next day, as the got down the Carrock, Ori was still shivering, though clearly he was trying to hide it. Kili approached him again, and this time Dori was busy elsewhere, but Ori pushed him away, swearing he was fine, just a bit warm and a headache, not feeling like talking, really. Kili had nodded, and caressed his lover's cheek. It was burning. But Ori insisted there was nothing to worry about, and Kili finally left him in peace.

At the feet of the great rock, the company found a small lake, and they decided to stop there and enjoy it a bit. It had been a rough few days, they were all covered in goblins blood, and a bath never hurt. Kili and Fili had been the first to jump in the water, to discover it was freezing. They still managed to trick almost everyone into thinking it was warm, and they laughed when the members of the company discovered they had been tricked.

It didn't take long for Kili to notice that Ori hadn't joined them, and that instead, the young scholar was still on the bank, along with the hobbit who looked traumatized by the number of naked dwarves in front of him. Ori seemed just as uncomfortable, but that didn't make any sense. _He_ had seen naked dwarves before. Kili had made sure of that.

Worried again, the young prince left the water to join his little scribe. The hobbit squealed and ran away when he saw him, muttering something about dwarves and propriety, but Kili did not mind him. Ori was curled up against a rock, his eyes closed, his hands clenched in his cardigan.

"Are you sure you don't want to bathe with us?" Kili asked softly, laying a hand on his lover's cheek, and removing it almost instantly. "What... Ori, you're burning! Are you sick? Did you tell Oin about this? I'll get get him, and..."

"Don't!" the scholar whimpered weakly. "It's nothing, I don't want anyone to worry about it. It'll heal and then everything will be okay."

"What will heal? Oh Mahal, don't tell me you got hurt and you didn't tell anyone? I swear, for someone so clever you can be really dumb sometimes! Now show me."

Ori hesistated a moment, then slowly lifted his cardigan to reveal a nasty red bite mark. Kili gasped.

"You were bitten? When? The goblins?"

"I didn't notice at first," Ori sobbed, as if he had done something wrong. "I only realized it when we stopped outside, and it hurt so much, but the wargs arrived and there was no time, and then in the tree my head felt all empty, and, and, and there's no need to tell Oin please, _I don't want to be a burden again_."

The small scholar was crying, and for a moment Kili almost wanted to just hug him until he felt better, but there was no time for that. In a few quick movements, he removed Ori's cardigan (the small dwarf didn't even protest, and that worried him even more), and undressed him until he only had his underpants on. Somewhere behind him, he heard Fili joking about his eagerness, and Dori claiming that this was entirely improper, but he did not care.

Helping Ori on his feet, he dragged his lover to the water. Cleaning the wound was capital. The Maker help them, they should have cleaned it hours ago, as soon as they had arrived on the Carrock. What had Ori been _thinking_? They had all been hurt during the fights, and Oin had inspected everyone, there was no shame in a wound, not when he had fought so well.

"It's too cold," Ori mumbled, though he did not even try to escape the water. "It's cold and I'm sleepy"

Kili felt his blood turn to ice. He didn't know much about tending wounds, but he was rather sure that sleepiness was never a good thing.

"No, don't sleep, love, stay awake," he almost begged. "You've got to stay awake for me, right? We're going to heal you, and you'll be all better again, with a nice scar to show what a brave little warrior you are. But you can't sleep, love, you just can't. Hear me?"

Positively panicked, Kili turned to the other dwarves, who finally seemed to have understood something was wrong. _About time too_ , the young prince thought angrily.

"Oin, Ori's hurt! You've got to come quickly, he was bitten by a goblin, and he's burning, and he's falling asleep and please, someone, do something!"

The entire company rushed to them, then, and in a matter of minutes Oin was applying all sorts of disgusting salves to the wound. Ori would be saved, they said, though it might have ended badly. Goblins carried all sorts of nasty diseases in their mouth, and their bite could kill you in a matter of day if left without care.

But Ori was safe now, and he'd remain so, Kili promised himself. No matter what the cost.


	15. Ori/Kili Kili gets naked FOR ART

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori has gotten fascinated with anatomy-studies, but seeing as the vast amount of knowledge from Moria and Erebor are both lost, he takes it upon himself to -as an amateur, I suppose- sketch dwarven anatomy and add notes based on visual evidence. Kili is more than happy to pose for him. /platonic or romantic/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As someone who also draw, I couldn't resist such a prompt, and I might have gone a bit silly with it, sorry...XD

Ori had been drawing for as long as he could remember. It was not a common hobby, among dwarves, except among the best of smiths, to help them create their works of art. Only elves and humans would draw flowers and people. Dwarves had better things to do these days.

But Ori still liked it. It had come from sheer necessity at first. With Dori so busy working, and Nori never there, he'd had to find himself a quiet hobby that would keep him inside the house when no one could watch over him. It had been Nori's idea to give him a piece of slate and some chalk, and that had been the beginning of a great love story.

Nori had always encouraged it a lot more than Dori, and Dori probably disapproved precisely because Nori approved and was always gifting Ori with new supplies. He even gave him a proper book full of drawings of plants and animals and people, once, with the skeletons and all. The people drawn in it were all humans and elves of course, but Ori didn't care then, just as he didn't care where exactly his brother had acquired such a book. It was the most precious thing he had ever seen, and it made him so happy that Dori didn't even complain much about it.

For years, Ori copied again and again every single drawing in the book, until he knew them all by heart. Fili and Kili, the only dwarves his age in the part of Ered Luin where he lived, often teased him because of the time he spent drawing rather than learning to fight. They teased him a lot, these two, but he didn't really mind, because he knew they never meant any harm by it. They were some sort of nobility apparently, or at least their family had been, before the dwarves came to live in the Blue Mountains, but the brothers never wanted to talk about it.

Still, it made them a bit proud sometimes, but never mean. Not with Ori at least. But they could be... difficult to handle, sometimes. But they both had interesting faces that were nice to draw, so Ori allowed a lot from them, as long as they'd pose for him once in a while.

But even then, they could be bothersome.

“I don't look like that!” Fili complained after seeing his latest sketch. “Look at those legs you gave me, they're longer than my entire body! Kili, look, see how he drew me!”

“He made you look like an elf,” Kili sniggered, which earned him a glare from Ori.

“I always draw like that,” the younger dwarf protested. “It's my _style_.”

“Style or not, Kili's right, you drew me like an elf. Actually, you always draw everyone like they're elves. I know you're pretty short for a dwarf...”

“Hey!”

“... but still, it's no reason to try and make us look so tall.”

Ori frowned, annoyed to have his work criticized in such a way. He thought he was doing very well, and it wasn't his fault if they couldn't look like anything he was used to drawing.

“You're still very good,” Kili assured him with a large smile. “Better than anyone I know. But why don't you try drawing dwarves that look more like dwarves? You know, short and bulky and, well, _dwarvish_.”

“There are no dwarves on my book,” Ori admitted. “So I s'ppose I don't really know what we look like, under all the clothing. And you need to know how people look naked if you want to draw them dressed.”

The other two thought about that for a moment, trying to understand the logic of it. Suddenly, Kili smiled, and that couldn't mean anything good.

“What you're saying,” the dark haired dwarf said, “is that you need to see naked dwarves, right?”

“I suppose that would be the only solution, yes, but...”

“Okay then. I'll do it.”

“Do what, exactly?” Ori asked, suddenly very scared.

“I'll get naked for you, of course!” Kili answered, a wide smile on his elfish face, as if it were the most obvious of things, and the best idea he'd ever had. Ori only blushed, and Fili sniggered.

“What! It's very serious!” Kili insisted “I'll do it, _for art_!”

“Yeah, and Dori will skin you alive if he finds out you got naked in front of his baby brother. No offence, Ori, you're no child, but we all know your brother hasn't noticed you no longer wear nappies.”

Ori nodded. There was no point in denying that Dori was a tiny bit overprotective at times.

“But it's all innocent and for the art!” Kili protested, looking horrified that anyone could doubt his intentions. “Certainly he'd understand that, wouldn't he?”

“If you want an honest answer to that,” Ori said after a moment reflection, “I must say that I only think telling that would only make things worse, because he'd think you're lying to him, and then he'd gut you and make you eat it all. Dori takes these things seriously.”

Kili's face fell at that, and he seemed to drop the idea altogether.

 

Only, Ori should have know that Kili wasn't one to forget an idea so easily. For one thing, the dark haired prince didn't have enough ideas as a rule to let go of a single one of these.

Still, when Kili had suggested he came to his house to draw something for him, Ori hadn't expected to be dragged to a small bedroom and given a chair, only to have Kili undress in front of him.

Ori knew that life was full of surprises, but seeing a naked prince really _was_ something he had never expected.

“I thought you wanted me to draw something?” the young scholar stammered, his cheeks red as he looked anywhere but at Kili.

“Well, yeah, I do,” the prince confirmed, jumping on his bed to lie in what he probably imagined to be a seductive pose. “I want you to draw me like one of your elves.”

“I am not sure it's such a good idea, really.”

“But it's for art! Don't you want to be a greater artist and to know how to draw dwarves and all?”

Ori hesitated. “I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have some reference, but... do you really have to be naked?”

“Of course I do. That's art for you, it's all naked people everywhere.”

The young scholar felt rather offended by that remark, because he drew plenty of things that weren't naked people, thank you very much. Still, it was a good enough occasion to work on dwarven anatomy, Kili was right about that, and so he set to work and started sketching. It would have been a good deal easier if the prince hadn't moved all the time, but it was still fairly fun and extremely interesting, all things considered.

Or at least it was, until the door opened and king Thorin came in.

That was even worse than being discovered by Dori. All Dori could do was yell at them a lot, complain for day, forbid them to ever see each other (as if Ori would obey that) and be an annoying older brother.

But Thorin was, well, Thorin. He was the king. He was powerful. He had full authority on all the dwarves of Ered Luin. He... didn't look angry. In fact, he had the look of someone who had seen things like this to often to care anymore.

“Come on uncle, you've caught me doing a lot worse,” Kili said with a grin, confirming Ori's impression.

“This isn't what it looks like!” the young scholar yelped, because someone had to defend their honour, and Kili didn't seem to want to do it.

“It's exactly what it looks like!” the young prince protested.

“No it's not”

“Yes, it is!”

Thorin grunted, massaging his temples. “I don't want to know. I swear to the Maker, I don't want to know. Just... keep doing whatever it is you were doing. But next time, do try to lock the door, Kili.”

And as if he hadn't just seen his youngest nephew laying naked in front of another equaly young dwarf, the king walked away, carefully closing the door behind him. As soon as he was gone, Kili started laughing.

“Well, at least now if Dori hears of it, we can say that Thorin approved of it,” he said with a grin.

“He didn't approve as much as run away.”

“Close enough. Well, I'm a bit cold now, can we stop for today?”

“Yes, of cou... What do you mean, for today?”

Kili grinned again.

“I expect you'll be needing other such sessions before you can properly draw dwarves the right way, won't you? So I'm ready to sacrifice myself for you, if you don't mind?”

Ori smiled, and nodded.

There were worse prospects in life than having a good excuse for staring at a naked Kili for a couple hours.


	16. Kili/Ori/Fili/Dwalin lost in Mirkwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OT4 in Mirkwood, Ori surprises everyone by turning out to have the strongest spirit and not letting them give into despair?

Mirkwood had been a terrible surprise for everyone, and considering they had been expecting the worse from it, that was saying something. The forest was dark and oppressive, and it went on and on, unchanging, as if every step they made brought them nowhere. By the end of the second week in it, they all felt the strain from it, and were all wondering if they should ever see the light of day again.

Even Kili could no longer bring himself to smile, and without his good mood, Fili stopped joking, which in turn made Dwalin grim, and from then on, the entire company was affected. If these three couldn’t find a way to joke about the situation, then who could?

The only one unnafected, in the end, was Ori. Sweet little Ori, who should have been the most worried of the lot, considering how badly his very first quest was going, turned out to be rather calm. He had a routine, and nothing, not even been trapped in a dark and dangerous forest could change it. He still found things to write about in that book of his, and he still drew and observed everything.

“Why do you still do it?” Kili asked him one night, as they were keeping watch together. “We’re never getting out of that place, no one will read your book. So why do you keep writing?”

“Because I think we’ll get out one day. And even if we don’t, even if we die here, someone might find that book some day, and they’ll know why we did the things we did, and that’s important.”

Kili had frowned, not sure he understood, but Ori’s quiet certainty had been contagious. The prince was not hopeful again as such, but he was at least less frightened.

But then, they’d lost Bombur, and a great part of their food. Well, Bombur wasn’t lost so much as asleep and slowing them down, but the food was trully gone for good. They’d all tried to find a way to replace it, Kili shooting at squirells until he lost most of his arrows, Fili and Dwalin setting snares that never worked. They rationned the provisions until everyone barely ate at all.

And Ori kept writing.

At that point the others didn’t know if they found it sweet, unnerving, or just entirely annoying that the little scholar wouldn’t change his habits in such dire times.

“Can’t you do something _useful_ instead?” Fili snapped at him one night, still hungry after eating only half a cake, the only thing left at that point.

Ori had raised his head, surprised by the sudden anger. Then he had looked around him, as if he hadn’t even noticed the state of the company before (and Fili half suspected he hadn’t. Ori was more than capable of staying lost in thoughts for hours, days even, and it wasn’t unusual for him to forget to eat at such times). The small scholar stood up then, took his slingshot, and went among the trees without a word.

“Don’t go too far!” Dori warned him, more out of habit than of real fear. They had reached such a point that being eated by carnivores seemed no worse than dying from hunger.

Fili didn’t see Ori again that night. But when he woke up, it was to the smell of squirells cooking. Six of them. It was not enough, not for a company of fourteen starving people, but it was meat, and more than they had seen in a long time. Fili looked for Ori, to thank him and apologize for his anger the previous night.

The scholar was back in his book, Dwalin and Kili on each side of him, as if nothing had happened, and for some reason, it made the prince smile this time.

Fili went to join them, and discovered that Ori had also found them some berries.

“They don’t taste very good,” the young dwarf warned him. “They’re rather bitter. But they’re very juicy, and it will help with… with the thirst.”

“Are you sure they’re good?” Dwalin asked. “Stupid way to die, eating fruits.”

“Oh, I am quite sure, yes. The first book I’ve ever had was about… about plants and such, and which one you can eat and which one you can’t, and it had very good drawings of them all. I know it by heart, I’ve read it so often! Oh, but I’ll understand if you’d rather not…”

“No, I trust you, laddie. I trust you.”

Ori had said the truth, the berries tasted awful, but they were strangely refreshing. That was better than nothing, and it helped them to keep walking that day. And when night arrived, or what they supposed to be night, considering how difficult it was to tell the difference, Fili went with Ori to get more berries, while Kili borrowed his slingshot to hunt, and Dwalin gathered wood for the fire.

And if they were to die in that forest, at least they would have fought until the end.


	17. Ori leaves for Moria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the reconquest of Erebor, Ori decides to join another quest. (implied Ori/Kili and Dwalin/Fili)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> re-reading LotR turned out to be a terrible idea because I am having so many emotions and it made me write this.  
> It's not 100% my headcanon, but a dark, twisted part of me likes the idea of Ori joining the quest to Khazad Dum as an elaborate way to kill himself....D:

"You don't have to come, lad," Balin said. "You're still young, you've got plenty to live for, and this quest of mine, it's... well, it's more a foolish dream than anything else, really."

"I've got to come," Ori assured him. "You've got to have someone to tell the tale, or what's the point of going on a quest at all?"

"Does my brother know you're coming?"

Ori shook his head. That was the whole point of it. Dwalin had been sent on a mission away from Erebor that very morning, and he'd already said his goodbyes to Balin, knowing his brother would have left for Khazad Dum before he returned. And that was Ori's only chance, he knew it. Had Dwalin been there, he would have prevented him from going, and Ori would have stayed, for the sake of their friendship.

But Dwalin did not understand. He had married in the end, he had children. His eldest sons were called Fili and Kili, and he spoiled them like he had never been able to spoil the princes. And his wife was a sweet lady, who understood that Dwalin had loved others before her, and that one of these others had been a young, golden prince. Life had been kind to Dwalin, and it was about time too, Ori thought.

He was less lucky. Or maybe he simply had not tried. Of the many people he had met since they had reclaimed Erebor, none had ever compared to Kili. A part of the scholar had died with his lover, during that terrible battle. And if not for Dwalin, Ori wasn't sure he'd still be alive at all, but Dwalin no longer needed him, hadn't needed him in years. It would hurt him to lose a friend, Ori did not doubt it, but with the help of his children, he would get over it. And Ori would be free, at last, and he would soon be with Kili again.

For there was no hope in that quest, he knew it. Going to Khazad Dum was more foolish than trying to reconquer Erebor had ever been. A dragon was nothing to the orcs of Moria, to Durin's Bane, to the cursed stones of that dark place.

"Dwalin will understand," Ori said, trying to sound confident.

"No, he won't," Balin sighed. "I hope the Maker will keep an eye on you, laddie. Should you die, my brother will never forgive me."

"Does it mean I can come?"

"Of course. If you're seeking death, lad, you might as well do it while helping me."

Ori nodded, and couldn't refrain a smile.

Soon, he would see Kili again.

Soon.


	18. Ori goes to the Moria pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori went to the Moria to find death, and instead found life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still reading LotR, they found Ori's book, and I am an emotional mess. I'll go back to answering actual prompts soon enough.

Ori cannot remember when he has felt this alive for the last time. Not since Kili’s death, probably.

He had joined Balin’s quest to Khazad Dum to seek death, but instead he found life. As if going away from Erebor and all its dark memories were the only thing he had ever needed. As they stop one day, he writes to Dwalin, to tell him that he’s fine, that he’s _alive_ at last, and that he has every intention to remain so.

Balin watches him a lot at first, as if he fears that Ori will do something stupid, but by the time they arrive at the fates of Moria, the old dwarf’s fears have disappeared. They are on friendly terms, even if they aren’t friends as such, and some night they have great discussions with Oin, about their lives before the reconquest, about that quest to Erebor that cost them so much. It is the first time that Ori can talk of Kili or Fili without feeling sick, or without wanting to join them this instant.

There’s to much to do to die now.

Their first battles are successful, they manage to push away the orcs, and to declare a new kingdom in Khazad Dum. Balin, son of Fundin, is king. He rules over barely more than a hundred dwarves, but he rules nonetheless, and Ori is proud to be by his side, proud to help him. He writes again to Dwalin, to tell him all they have accomplished, to ask him to come, once things are settled in Khazad Dum. He tells him they have found mithril already, that the old forges will soon be working again. He tells him that one day, his sons might get to rule under Khazad Dum, that there might be a king Fili after all, if fate is kind to us.

It is the last letter he ever sends.

Things start going bad, soon after that. The orcs come back, more and more of them. They lose many good dwarves and then, one terrible night, they lose their king. Balin was shot by one of the foul creatures. Oin might have saved him, but he’s gone exploring that dark lake with a few soldiers. And Balin is old anyway. He was already old when they reclaimed Erebor. His time had come, Ori thinks, and there was nothing they could do about it.

Oin should be the new king, now that Balin is dead. He was his second in command after all. But Oin isn’t there, and the dwarves turn to Ori. He is surprised to discover that he is something of a hero to them. Not just because he was a member of Thorin’s Company, but also because over those few years spent together, they seem to have appreciated his quiet courage, the way he never gave up, his encouragements in moments of despair. Until Oin returns, they decide he’ll be the one giving orders.

When Oin doesn’t return, when only one of his soldiers comes back to tell them that the West way is blocked, Ori understands they are going to die, all of them. They are trapped. The Watcher on one side, orcs on the other, and Durin’s Bane somewhere below. All hope is lost. The orcs are coming. They all know it.

He writes one last time in the book where he keeps the records of their colony, and he hides it as well as he can. This is their legacy. A day may come when Khazad Dum is free again, for good this time, and their names will go down into history.

But for now, Ori has never been less in a hurry to join Kili and Fili, for every minute, ever _second_ where they survive is a victory.


	19. Ori leaves for Moria, Dwalin has to deal with it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It took some years, but life has finally become kind to Dwalin. He's not sure he was ready to pay the price for it, though

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I think that's a wrap on that series of ficlet? I don't think I can deal with more of it. Canon is a terrible, terrible place. I'll now be going back to the land of fluff where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

Life had given Dwalin all that a dwarf could ask for. He had a family, a wife, more children that anyone of their race had ever had before, and all of them in good health (his youngest had a bit of a limp, and his third son has been deaf since a sickness in infancy, but _that_ didn't count, they are all well and healthy).

But then again, before giving, life had taken much from him. His parents, when Erebor burnt. His friends, killed by goblins in Azanulbizar. His lover, killed in the Battle of the Five Armies. His brother and his sworn brother, both of them gone to the Moria, never to be heard of again.

He hadn't been surprised when Balin had decided to go. He was an old dwarf with old dreams, and a secret desire to recover one of the Rings of their kind that had been lost. And Balin had lost more than him at that point. Dwalin had been married for just a few years when his brother had left.

But Ori's departure had been a betrayal.

Ori had been all that was left of Fili and Kili. The only one to remember them as Dwalin did, not as princes, not as young fools, but as friends and lovers. Ori was the only one who understood when Dwalin would suddenly be reminded of them, and how it hurt to be alive when they were not.

And yet Ori had left, forcing him to face life alone. It should not have surprised him (the young scholar had never recovered from their loss, never been able to accept that life went on, and Dwalin knew that his friend longed for death) but it still did. And for the longest time, he was furious at the young dwarf for abandonning him, at Balin for allowing it, at his family for preventing him from going after them.

But the first letters he received gave him hope. In them, Ori sounded once again like the young, happy little scholar he had met in the Shire, all those years ago. He claimed that he no longer wanted to die, and Dwalin believed him, because if Ori had never hidden his desire for death before, why would he start now, when his wish might finally come true? And he seemed so full of plans for the future, for Khazad Dum, so full of hope and so alive.

When, in a letter, Ori claimed that one day, there would be a King Fili after all, in Khazad Dum if not in Erebor, Dwalin broke into tears. Of joy or grief, he was not sure.

It was the last letter he ever received from Ori.

He didn't think much of it, at first. Ori had talked of mithril, they must all have been terribly busy. But after ten years without news, he started worrying. He didn't go then, his wife pregnant again, but he wished he could. He didn't leave the following summer, as that was the year his third son fell ill. Then his eldest daughter started been courted by a young lad, and he still couldn't go to Moria.

Every year, something would happen, until one morning he realized that it had been three decades since he had last seen Ori. But when Dain sent Gloin and his son Gimli ask for advice to Rivendell, Dwalin did not ask to go with them, though this time nothing was stopping him. He feared too much the news he might learn there.

When Gloin came back, he was alone. His son had gone on a quest, he explained, though nothing more could be learned from him.

It was months before Gimli, at last, came back to Erebor (with a bloody elf by his side too, but when the lad had claimed that prince Legolas was his sworn brother, Dwalin had accepted it. You didn't choose your family). He brought news of the world with him. News, and a book in Ori's hand.

"The kingdom in the mines of Moria fell after five years," Gimli announced in a grim voice. "But they fought until their last moment, and we should be proud of them, rather than sad."

Dwalin looked at the book, Ori's last work. The thing was almost unreadable, covered in blood and half destroyed.

The warrior looked at his wife and children that night, as they tried to console him from his loss. He thought, not for the first time, that after many painful years, life had given him all that a dwarf could desire.

But sometimes, he wondered if it was worth the price he had paid to have it.


	20. Ori&Dwalin bonding after Nori got arrested

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin usually swings by the Ri-household to inform them, that *yes* Nori’s in the holding cell *again* and *yes* it’ll take a while before he’s allowed to go. Ori and Dwalin bond. Just kid!Ori endearing gruff!Dwalin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really sorry for spamming you guys today!D: It's just been a bit of an intense day, what with reading some very sad parts of LotR (they just got out of the Moria... and knowing what happened didn't help) and some RL stuff  
> So I was in a mood for writing and I got this lovely prompt and here we go.

It’s become a bit of a habit, really. Every now and then, Dwalin shows up at their house to inform them that Nori has been arrested. Again. But they have no firm proof against him. Again. It will be a few days at best until he’s allowed to leave. Again.

As far as Ori is concerned, this is a perfectly normal occurrence. It’s all he’s ever known.

Dwalin frightened him a bit at first. He’s so big and tall and huge and he has tattoos everywhere and he’s tall. As tall as a human, Ori is sure of it. Probably as large too, and as strong. He’s awfully scary, really, and if Ori were Nori, he would stop doing the things that make him have to go to Dwalin’s house, just so that he’d never again see that tall, grim dwarf.

At least, that’s how the dwarfling feels at first. But one day, when Dwalin comes to tell Dori that Nori will yet again not come home that night, he finds Ori all alone in the kitchen. Dori had gone to work, and Nori had been supposed to be back soon to take care of their little brother.

“Ye’re alone, child?” Dwalin asks, and his voice is so deep and rough that it makes Ori want to cry. But he doesn’t, and instead he just nods. Dori has told him to always be polite to mister Dwalin, and to always help him, or there would be trouble.

“Where’s Dori?”

“Work.”

“And he left ye alone?”

Ori nods again. “Nori will come soon and prepare lunch. I’m hungry. But I can’t cook. I’m too little. So Nori has to do it. But he’s not very good either. Is he coming home?”

“Not today, laddie.”

The little one frowns at that. He’s really hungry. Dori had put three biscuits on the table before he left, but Ori ate them hours ago, when he woke up. It’s noon now, and he’s hungry again, terribly hungry.

“When’s yer brother coming home?” Dwalin asks.

Ori shrugs. “Night. Late. Today is his long day. That’s why Nori must come home. I can’t stay alone too long. Cause I get hungry.” He feels it’s a point on which he must insist, really. Not that his grumbling stomach doesn’t make it clear.

Dwalin looks horribly uncomfortable now, and not half as scary as before. In fact, if Ori didn’t know any better, he’d think that the gigantic dwarf seems just a tiny bit scared. But it can’t be, because there is nothing to be afraid of, of course. There used to be a monster under Ori’s bed, but Nori grabbed it one night, broke all its fingers and teeth, and swore to kill it if it ever come back again, and since then the house is very safe, and Ori is no longer afraid of the dark.

“Where d’ye keep the food?” Dwalin asks. “I’ll make ye something. Won’t have ye starving just ‘cause yer brother’s too stupid and got caught.”

Ori smiles, and shows him were everything is.

By the time he’s done eating, he can’t remember why he ever thought that Dwalin was scary.


	21. Ri brothers - Nori has trouble writing khuzdul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anyone/Dori (friendship/relationship) -Khuzdul has a set stroke order; someone keeps messing up. Ink ends up everywhere. Give me Dori fussing over the dwarf. -It’s entirely improper to go around teether-tatterin’ like that, lad.-

Sometimes, Dori quite despaired of his younger brother. Nori was a clever enough lad when he wanted. There was no pocket he couldn’t pick, no lock he couldn’t unlock, no house he couldn’t get into in the middle of the night, and he never lost a fight.

But give him a quill, ink and paper, and the lad was lost. Fifty he was, and he still couldn’t trace a single rune properly.

“That’s not how you start that one, Nori! You must draw _this_ part first, and _that_ only comes after.”

“Who cares, as long as it looks how it’s supposed to?”

“I care, and so should you. Anyone looking at this can tell you didn’t start in the right place, and that, lad, is shameful. So start again, and do it properly this time.”

“What for? I never get it right. Everything I do is fucked up and you’re never happy with it. Don’t see no point in trying.”

“Double negative. And watch your language!”

“See? Just what I was saying! Can’t you just give up and leave me in peace? I’ll never do it right.”

“Not if you’re in that mood, you won’t,” Dori scolded him. “And no, I cannot give up on you. Mahal knows that enough people have given up on both of us already, I certainly won’t do the same to you, not as long as I breathe! So now stop complaining, take that quill, and trace that rune the right way, or there won’t be any pie for you tonight!”

Nori sighed tragically, but Dori could see the faintest trace of a shy, pleased smile on his brother’s lips as he tried again to copy the runes, squinting his eyes as he tried to trace them the proper way.

It’s be a pear pie that night, Dori decided, because the ones he’d bought the other day would soon go bad otherwise. And if that happened to be Nori’s favourite, well, that was just a coincidence


	22. Ori/Kili Ori is the one with royal blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orilik role reversal where the Ri brothers are royalty and Kili isn't

Ori wasn’t a prince, not really, but Dori was. More than a prince actually, Dori was a king, a crownless one, but still a king, since his father had died, on that day at Azanulbizar.

Dori wasn’t made to rule, he often said so himself. Long ago, Nori and him had decided that it would be the younger prince who would take the throne, when the day came. But that had been before the dragon, before the Fall of Erebor, before Nori had died protecting their father. In the end, Dori had had no choice. Someone had to be there for their people, and his mother and him had been the only ones left.

Ori was born a few years after the battle. In any other family, he’d have been a bastard, but things were different when your mother was of the line of Durin. People called him a prince when Dori and what was left of his court were around. He preferred not to know what they called him when no one was there to defend what little honour he had.

What he did know was that everyone in Ered Luin wished he had never come to life, and that Nori had never died.

Ori wasn’t very good at being a prince. Then again, he wasn’t very good at being a dwarf either. Always stuck in books, talking with old Balin, who had been the King’s friend, and still worked with Dori sometimes. A shame to the whole race, Ori was. He knew it. But he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t see the point in trying when he’d fail anyway. He’d never be as strong and respected as Dori. He’d never be as popular as Nori. He’d never be anything.

“You’re Ori,” Kili once told him. “And being just Ori is a lot more than being a prince. It means you’re kind and nice and clever.”

It made Ori blush. Princes weren’t supposed to blush of course, but he always did whenever Kili was around. The dark haired dwarf was a distant cousin of some sort, and his mother and uncle were on friendly terms with Dori, so Kili and Ori had grown up together.

“You’ll see, some day they’ll need you,” Kili continued with a large smile. “Someone who’s good with words, more than with weapons. ‘Cause when we go back to Erebor, we’ll need someone like you to make new deals with the men and the elves, and that’ll be your time to shine, and… oh. You’re blushing!”

“I’m not!”

“Yes, you are. But that’s okay, you know.” Kili kissed him on the cheek. “I like it when you blush.”


	23. Ori/Kili braiding hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a fic in which Ori braids Dwalin’s hair after sleeping together (post-coital braiding xD). Could you write a similar story with Kili and Ori?

They don’t often have time to lie together afterwards. Then again, they rarely do it in a place that would allow it. They always have to hide, for fear someone might discover them before they feel strong enough to let the world know.

Ori is convinced that his brothers will never approve (Dori certainly won’t. But Nori? After some of the stories Kili has heard about _him_ , he doesn’t think his lover’s brother can protest much against their inappropriate behaviour)

Kili doesn’t know how his mother will react (she’s always said that as long as he was happy… but people always say that, don’t they?) but he’s fairly sure his uncle will be just as bad as Dori (Line of Durin! Children! Marry a girl! Have babies!) and Fili… well, Fili already knows of course, though they’ve never exactly talked about it. Kili just doesn’t feel ready yet. He’s already such a disappointment to the family, he doesn’t have the courage to announce that he’s yet again failed them.

Not that he would change anything about what he has with Ori. He loves his scholar, though he’s never said the words yet. He loves how smart and well-learned he is, but that he still can’t work metal, or even do something as easy as cooking. He loves how Ori knit and write and draw, and forget to eat and sleep while he does so. He loves how dominant Ori is when they make love, so confidant and in control, but as soon as they are around others he’s the shyest little dwarf ever.

Some day, Kili will be brave enough to say it aloud. And that day, he will ask Ori to be his, for ever. And if Dori and Thorin do not like it, then that’s too bad for them, because the young prince is not changing his mind, not today, not ever.

“What are you thinking about?” Ori asks, playing with Kili’s hair. “You look awfully serious.”

“I’m thinking about you.”

“A subject that certainly should make you smile a bit more,” Ori teases. “Especially right now, when for once we have not just a real bed, but also an empty house all to ourselves. I’m far from being done with you, you know.”

Kili grins. “Mahal, I sure hope so. After all the trouble we had to make sure both your brothers were out of town!”

Ori chuckles, but doesn’t answer. It takes a moment for Kili to realize that his lover isn’t merely playing with his hair anymore, that he’s actually braiding them, and for some reason it feels like the most intimate thing they have ever done.

“I love you,” the prince says on an impulse, and a blush on Ori’s cheeks is his reward. “I love you, and some day I will marry you. Uncle wants to go on a quest, to take back his kingdom. When I come back, I will marry you. Mahal, I would marry you right now if I could, but…”

“But he won’t allow it until you’ve proved yourself,” Ori finishes with a sad smile. “I know. I can wait. You are worth waiting for.”

Kili smiles, and as soon as his braid is finished, is kisses is lover, his _fiancé_ now.

Tomorrow, he will speak to his mother and uncle, and tell them of his intentions. But that’s tomorrow, and the night is still young.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the small spam, I just forgot to post these before D:


	24. Bombur/Nori Bombur is ticklish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a new ship. If you send me prompts for it (or any other, really) I will love you.  
> Bombur/Nori is the future, people.

The first time had been an accident. Nori had just been messing a bit with Bombur. He took great care of joking with everyone, to appear harmless, to make it seem like Dori's blatant disapproval was only due to a jovial nature that was in contrast with his older brother's. But as he had tried to push the larger dwarf to reach a few nuts, Bombur had let out a strange little strangled squeak. Nori had given him a surprised look, but the cook only blushed, as if he had down something terribly embarrassing, and Bofur had quickly arrived to rescue him, chasing Nori away with a laugh.

A for a while, Nori hadn't thought about that little incident. Bombur was hardly worth his time, after all.

* * *

 

The second time happened at Rivendell, as they were all dining with the elves. If one could call it _dining_ at all. Nori had nothing against vegetables, but merely boiling them and claiming they were a meal seemed a bit much for him. Bombur, who was sitting next to him, seemed of the same opinion

"You should go talk to their cook," Nori suggested, with a friendly poke to the other dwarf's side. "Show how it's done, maybe."

Bombur's reaction had been to almost fall from his chair while make a strange noise, very much like that first time. Nori frowned. That was rather unexpected, unless...

"Don't tell me you're ticklish?" he asked, smirking.

The large dwarf scowled at him, but still nodded, grumbling something about how he couldn't help it, and a few threats of what would happen to Nori if he bothered him about it.

Nori didn't listen. This was going to be _fun_.

* * *

 

It became a game, after that. A harmless bit of teasing, really. Not his fault if the whole quest was so boring, as they walked toward the Misty Mountains. Nothing was happening, and he couldn't suggest a game of cards (Dori had been very clear on what would happen to him if he did) or a friendly dare (last time it had ended with the princes losing ponies and sending their hobbit after trolls. He wasn't anxious to repeat that).

The only thing left to do was to tickle Bombur.

It wasn't as easy as it sounded. For one so fat, the cook was surprisingly quick, and he did not take well to people trying to annoy him. He was also more aware of his surroundings than Nori would have expected, and to be honest, he often lost at that little game, earning himself a sharp blow from a wooden ladle.

That only made the game more fun, of course. Nori had always been one for a good challenge.

It was easy to come up with excuses to be around Bombur. The cook was always glad to talk to someone who wasn't his brother or his cousin, even when he knew exactly why Nori was around. He also never said no to a little help, though their hobbit was already doing a lot of that, trying hard to prove that he wasn't entirely useless.

"You're not doing so bad," Bombur told the little lad on their first night in the mountains. "You're still with us, and you're still alive. Not so bad, lad. I know a few dwarves who wouldn't have made it that far."

“Yeah, you've done pretty well so far,” Nori added, taking a step closer to the cook. “And you were fairly good with the trolls, weren't you?”

“ _You_ bet I wouldn't come, though,” the hobbit grumbled, throwing Nori a pointed look.

“And don't I regret it. I lost a fortune to Oin, but he's an old fool, and he'll lose it again soon enough. And there's still plenty of time to prove yourself, Mr Baggins. We're still at the beginning of our travels.”

“Exactly,” Bombur added with a smile. “And in the mountains, we will... Augh! _Nori_!”

Laughing, Nori swiftly avoided the cook's ladle and ran back to his brothers. Ori chuckled, while Dori looked at him as if he were the most immature dwarf he had ever set eyes on (which was offending, really, because the young princes were far worse than him). As for Bombur he was frowning and waving his ladle menacingly, but when he turned again to his stew, he was smiling, and so was Nori.

  
  



	25. Bombur/Nori theft gone wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alckalin suggested “Nori dies during a theft. Bombur is used to waiting him for long periods, and waits for him.”

It wasn't supposed to go like that, Nori told himself for the hundredth time.

He looked at the wound, and wished he hadn't.

It was supposed to be an easy job.

He had agreed to it _because_ it was an easy job, because he'd have been back home just in time for the birthday. Bombur's youngest girl was turning thirty, and she had insisted so much. She wanted Nori to be there, she had specifically asked for it. He had promised, and he never promised lightly, not to children. You had to keep promises made to kids, he'd learnt that with Ori. Years to earn back his trust after that. Never wanted to hurt a kid that way again. Never.

But he'd never come home for her birthday, and she'd be so sad.

Bombur would be angry for a few days. Worried for a few weeks. After a few years, he'd be resigned. Dori and Bofur would tell him he should never have trusted Nori.

They'd be right. A better dwarf wouldn't have taken the job. A better thief wouldn't have messed up so badly.

He looked at the wound, the blood flowing fast, and he could already feel himself loosing consciousness.

It wasn't supposed to go like that, Nori thought for the last time.

And he would never be there for the birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want this ship for the fluff, but then Alcka suggested this and I am sorry.  
> (no I'm not)


	26. Bombur/Nori amnesia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: What if Bombur and Nori are next door neighbors? This is a younger Nori fic, like he's still pretty new to big jobs and hasn't started sneaking away from home too much yet? One night, Nori is injured but able to make it home in time to pass out, except he misjudged the house and ends up passed out in the neighbors' house. Bombur, who was up for a midnight snack, finds and nurses Nori to health, not aware that he only had to pass him over to the house next door to be rid of him. Nori is a bit delusional during all this time and thinks he's far from home but slowly gets nursed back to health and kinda falls in love. Then, fussy Dori with baby Ori comes over one day asking to borrow a bit of sugar and discovers the brother he's been fretting over has been a home over the entire time. Idk, man, I just want hurt/comfort and Bombur seems like he would be an awesome bedside nurse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FAILED AT THE COMFORT PART I'M SO SORRY THIS IS JUST MORE ANGST

Bombur looked at the dwarf passed out in their living room, and wondered what to do. If only Bofur and their parents had been there, they would have known what to do after discovering someone bleeding to death on their floor upon waking up. They always knew what to do. Bombur never did. He was the slow, fat one, and everyone knew it, and he just couldn't handle a situation like this.

He didn't know what to do.

But he knew Bofur would have checked if that dwarf was still alive. He was, breathing weakly and moaning in pain when Bombur checked the wound on his head and the one at his side. Nothing seemed too serious, nor particularly dirty, which was good. He'd still probably need to clean it. But first, he had to move the wounded dwarf to a bed. Rest was important when healing. Probably. Bombur remembered his mother saying something along these lines.

It wasn't easy, bringing the dwarf to his bed (not the closest one by far, but the dwarf looked the sort who'd rather be hidden, and Bombur wasn't sure how his family would react if he used _their_ beds for this). He still managed it, and set out to work. He needed lots of water, first to clean the wounds, then to cook something for the dwarf who was _far_ too thin.

Bombur left the house, carefully locking the door behind him, and went to the well. It was still early, and there weren't many people there, just young master Dori and his little brother. Bombur liked them. Dori was always polite and never made fun of his weight, and young Ori had the most charming of smiles and a sweet temper.

“You are up early, mister Bombur,” Dori called out. “Not having too much trouble on your own, I hope? I think I heard some noise last night, I hope you didn't have any problems?”

“Just a nightmare,” Bombur assured him, blushing. But he always blushed anyway, so he was sure no one paid it any attention now. “I'm not so use to sleeping alone, but it'll come.”

“And you're not alone for long anyway, are you? When should they all be back?”

“A month, maybe two at most, if Bifur turns out to be in a very bad shape. But we're so glad that he's alive after all!”

Dori nodded gravely, with the air of someone who knew what it was like to have a wandering family member. Bombur had heard of Dori's infamous middle brother, but he had never met him yet, and hoped he never would. He seemed like the sort of person Bofur often protected him from.

They talked a little after that, and when their respective buckets were full, they walked home together, chatting about cooking and housekeeping.

* * *

 

He didn't know were he was. That was the first problem.

Wrong.

The first problem was the pain in his head and ribs.

Wrong again.

The first problem was that he couldn't remember his own name.

What he _did_ remember was a job of some sort, something important, bigger than usual. He had messed up. He didn't _remember_ messing up, but he had a head wound, didn't know who he was, and was in a house he didn't know, so it was fairly probably he had messed up.

He'd do better next time.

A noise in the other room caught his attention. He wasn't alone. His hand dashed to his boot, and found a knife he didn't know he had. Good. It meant he was the careful sort. He wasn't sure he could get up just yet, but at least he'd be able to defend himself against whoever was in the house with him. He heard slow footstep approaching and tensed, his grip on the knife tightening, ready to strike if necessary...

The dwarf who came in didn't look very threatening. Short. Fat. Young. Sixty, seventy at most.

Carried food in a bowl. Broth, if the smell was anything to go by.

He would give the fat kid a chance to live, then. He was hungry.

“Oh, you're awake?” the kid said, smiling shyly and blushing. “That's good, I was worried! I... I'm not very good at... at taking care of people, and I had never done this before and... look! Food!”

The kid thrust the bowl toward him, and he took it with a grin. Nothing to fear from that one, unless he was a very good actor. And the food was great, better than what he was used to.

“What's your name, kid?”

“Bombur. And I... I'm not really a kid, you know. W-what's your name anyway?”

He didn't answer. He didn't know the answer. The kid seemed to take it personally.

“Of course, you don't have to tell me,” Bombur mumbled. “Sorry if I was too curious. Just, you might have to stay here a few days. I don't think you're hurt too badly, but I had to do a few stitches on your side, and I couldn't ask for a healer to come because... I wasn't sure you'd want anyone to... to know where you are?”

Oh. Smart one. Didn't look the type to get into shady business, but had good reflexes. Good.

“Thanks for that,” he said. “And thanks for the food. It's good.”

Bombur blushed again, and fought a pleased smile. Shy one. Blushed easily. Rather sweet, that. Not that he cared for sweet. He was apparently the sort of person who got stabbed in the guts and carried knives in his boots. He probably didn't care for _sweet_.

* * *

 

In the following days, he learned all there was to know about Bombur.

He lived with his parents and his brother, as well as a cousin sometimes, a wandering toy seller who had recently been victim of an attack of orcs. The rest of the family had gone away to fetch him, while Bombur had been left behind to watch the house, because he wasn't much good at anything.

That was how Bombur presented it, at least. The thief (fairly sure he was a thief, if not something worse. Memories were coming back, slowly) wanted to disagree, because the kid (probably the same age as him, actually) seemed to be very good at many things. Great cook, for one. Good instincts as a healer, in spite of lack of experience. Good instincts in general. Always knew when to stop talking, when to stop asking questions. Not that he asked many of these. Curious, but knew the thief wouldn't tell him anything he didn't want to say, so he didn't ask.

Not that the thief had much to say. He remembered people he called his friend, but who would stab him in the back if he ever became a problem, and to whom he'd do the same. He remembered brothers, one ashamed of him and the other too young to hate him yet. No one to miss him. That was why he stayed with Bombur, he told himself. Poor lad seemed so lonely. Might as well stay a little longer with him, even if he probably could have left days ago.

Nothing to do with Bombur's sweet, shy smile. Or his carefully braided hair (longer than the thief's, and he'd always thought his was very long) and his nice full beard. Or the way the thief, who had at first sniggered at his large body, now wanted to touch him all over and discover where Bombur was sensitive, wanted to make him blush and stutter and moan, wanted to...

It was a dangerous train of thought. It was becoming hard to resist the need to touch the other dwarf. Bombur seemed to have the same sort of thoughts, judging by the hard blushes he had every time their finger accidentally over a bowl of stew.

That only made it worse.

He had to leave before it was too late. Couldn't drag Bombur into the mess that his life probably was.

* * *

 

He had been there for a week when Bombur kissed him. The thief was half asleep, and he forced himself not to move, not to react. Pretended to be asleep. Knew Bombur wasn't fooled.

That decided it, then. He had to leave. Before it was too late.

* * *

 

It had been a bad idea to kiss him, Bombur knew, but he hadn't been able to resist, and now his nameless dwarf was leaving. He hadn't said it yet, but Bombur knew that look, he'd seen it often enough on Bifur. His dwarf was leaving, and he should have seen it coming, because he wasn't the sort to stay, and even then who would ever stay for Bombur, of all people? Fat and slow and not much good at anything, beside cooking maybe, and what sort of dwarf _cooked_ , really?

Bombur wouldn't have stayed either, if he'd been him.

That didn't mean Bombur wouldn't be nice about it, of course. He still had some biscuits somewhere, and a cloak that he could spare, so that his dwarf could be warm and fed as he went back home, or whatever it was he'd be going. He would have given a little money, but he feared that would offend the other dwarf, and he didn't want that.

As he was making a list of things he could give the nameless dwarf, there was a knock at the door. Bombur exchanged a look with his guest. Nobody usually came to see him, and his family couldn't be back already. The other dwarf already had a knife in hand, and dashed toward the door, listening intently before motioning for Bombur to open it. Which he did, slowly, carefully, praying to Mahal that whoever had hurt his dwarf hadn't found them, that he wouldn't...

“Good day, mister Bombur,” Dori said as soon as the door opened. “I do hope I'm not disturbing you?”

“Not at all, master Dori!” Bombur answered quickly, relief flooding through his veins. He forced himself not to look as his dwarf, but heard the knife being put away. “Is anything the matter?”

“Just wondering if you could watch over Ori for a few hours? Someone just offered me a job, you see, and I do need the money terribly. I know it's a lot to ask...”

Bombur bit his lips. He wanted to accept, if only because he rather liked Dori, and the whole village know money had been tight for him since his mother's passing, but keeping a child in the same house as someone who probably was a criminal was probably...

“Dori?” his nameless dwarf exclaimed, jumping between the other two. “What are you doing here, Dori?”

“ _Nori_? I could ask you the same question! How long have you been hiding here? I've been worried sick!”

“I didn't even know were I was!” the nameless dwarf (no, Nori, he had a name now) explained, sounding exasperated. “Got into some trouble, didn't even remember my own name until... until you said it, really. I think I tried to get home and I came... here, instead. Bombur took care of me.”

At that, Dori glared at his brother first, then at Bombur who looked away, blushing. Now that he knew, he could see a certain family resemblance between his neighbour and the dwarf he'd healed. The same nose, the same frown, the same confidence.

And that all made it worse, because while he had been able to pretend that his nameless dwarf wasn't that dishonest, he'd heard Dori complain about Nori often enough to _know_ just how bad he was. It didn't change how much Bombur wanted him. But it certainly crushed any remaining hope he could have had.

People like Nori didn't fall for people like Bombur.

Still, he forced a smile.

“Well, at least now, I won't have to worry about you finding your way home!” he joked weakly. “I'm sorry to have kept him from you, master Dori, I just didn't know, or you can be sure I'd have told you.”

Dori glared at him again, but there was something softer in his eyes, as if he understood what had been going on.

“Don't apologize, mister Bombur, I am in your debt. It can't have been easy, caring for my brother. But I'll take him home now, and he'll watch over Ori, so all is well. You need not have another worry. And you could come have diner with us tonight, after work? I do owe you that, at least.”

“It's not necessary, I...”

“I _insist_ , mister Bombur,” Dori said, in a tone that allowed no refusal. So Bombur agreed.

Nori didn't look at him as he left with his brother, didn't say a word. And when Bombur went next door to eat with his neighbours, he only found Dori and little Ori waiting for him.

“Nori left as soon as I came back,” Dori explained, patting Bombur's shoulder and looking half angry and half sorry. “Said he had some business to take care of, and that it couldn't wait any longer. But he'll be back, some day, and I'm sure he'll give you some proper thanks then!”

Bombur smiled at the obvious lie and pretended to believe it.

He doubted he'd ever see Nori again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEADCANON TIME TO MAKE THIS LESS ANGSTY  
> Bombur's actor said Bom was married and had kids, and I find the idea ridiculously adorable, so I'm going with it, but it makes a young!Nori/Bombur a little difficult.  
> So Nori left, and made sure to never see Bombur again, though he often asked Dori about him. Bombur was sad for a long while, then met a dwarrowdam he married, and with whom he had kids, but she died (I'm going with "killed by orcs" but not sure yet) and Bombur is now a widower and he's got all these kids to take care of but money is always tight, so when he hears from Dori about the quest he decides to join it. And he meets Nori again. Only now he's an adult, and a little less shy, and a little more confident about what and who he wants, and they hook up during the quest.  
> see! fluff!


	27. Fili misses his father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili feels about his father being dead since many years. He misses him because he was the best dad ever and Kili has to comfort him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by this; http://hvit-ravn.tumblr.com/post/47209335774   
> http://hvit-ravn.tumblr.com/post/47208739572/thank-you-raviness-for-idea-of-dis-having-blue

Fili got sad sometimes, and Kili couldn’t really figure out why.

It was something is older brother didn’t really talk about, and it always came out of nowhere. One moment they were playing and laughing, then suddenly Fili would stop and stare into emptiness. Kili always asked him what the matter was. The answer was always the same.

“Just thinking, Kee. I just need a moment, I’ll be better soon.”

It wouldn’t have bothered Kili too much, if their mother hadn’t done the same. She’d look at Fili some days, and it would be like all happiness had left her for ever.

Kili suspected the reason for their strange mood swings, though he was never sure. He had heard of Gili, of his father, though he had no memories of him. Fili and Dis never talked of him, but Thorin did sometimes, as did Balin. He seemed to have been the best dwarf they had ever known, a great husband and a great father, always finding time to take care of his sons, no matter how exhausted he was, always caring and attentionate.

Some days, Kili wished he had properly known him. Most of the time, he was glad he didn’t have to share the others’ pain.

Things changed a little after they went on the quest. Fili still had these queer moments of stillness, but he started talking about it.

“Da used to love these flowers.”

“I remember that time Da made us a stew just like that, one day when Ma was working at the forge. Only he’d put lots of potatoes in it, because they were my favourite, and carrots for Ma.”

“First time I tried to climb up a try, I sprained my wrist and it hurt, something awful. I was just nine, maybe ten, and it hurt so much I thought I was going to die. He took me in his arms and sang to me until Gloin arrived to have a look at my wrist, only he was away, so it took hours. Dad had almost lost his voice by the end of it, but he never stopped singing, because that was the only way I’d stop crying.”

“He seemed nice,” Kili said, putting a hand around his brother’s shoulder.

“He was. I miss him. You’d miss him too, if you remembered. He was crazy about you, you know. Said you looked like Ma, and you’d be the most handsome dwarf ever. He’d talk about all the things we’d do, the three of us. He just couldn’t wait for you to be big enough so we’d play together and train all together. He was good with a bow, you know.”

“No, I didn’t know.”

“He was. Made that bow I gave you when you turned forty, you know. It was his.”

“I didn’t know that either.”

Fili smiled sadly. “He was a lot like you. You’d have loved him.”

“I’m sure I would have,” Kili answered, holding his brother tighter. “He really sounds great.”

“He was. He really was.”


	28. Fili/Dwalin secret boobies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After weapon training, it is customary for everybody to shower together, but Dwalin never joins them. Which makes Fili sad because he'd like to spend more time with the warrior. But each time he tries to join him in his shower, Dwalin yells at him and avoids him for days. Which Fili does not understand until he notices that Dwalin has boobies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alcka and I are rather fond of what we call "secret boobies", in which someone in the company is a girl but their love interest doesn't know it until fairly late in their relationship.  
> Because boobies are cool.

Fili did not have a crush on Dwalin. No. Not at all.

He was in love. That was very different, thank you very much.

_His idiot brother_ had a _crush_ on the scholar living down the street, and as a result he never talked to the lad, and barely dared to look at him. _Fili_ , who was a mature and clever adult, was _in love_ , and for that reason he made sure to show Dwalin how smart and good with weapons he was, to engage in conversations as often as possible, and to regularly compliment him on everything he could think of.

It was easy to find nice things to say. Dwalin was a terrific warrior, and since they often trained together (along with Kili and a few others, but _they_ didn’t matter, clearly) Fili could often comment on the wonderful way he held his axes, or how beautifully his muscles flexed when he lifted his war hammer. Dwalin always smiled (smirked, even, a little predatory, as if he might devour the young prince. Fili hoped he would). But he never did more than smile, and Fili couldn’t fathom why.

After all, he was a _delightful_ young dwarf, with nice hair and a very fancy moustache, and he was his uncle’s heir. That made him a very good potential partner, and he had made it very clear that he was interested, so he didn’t understand why Dwalin, who as the oldest was supposed to officially start the whole thing, wasn’t making any move on him.

It wasn’t as if opportunities were lacking. It would have been so easy to take advantage of the fact that after training, everyone washed together in the training court’s baths. And if Fili had to be forced to see every single dwarf he knew _naked_ , including his _brother_ , he should have been allowed to at least also see _Dwalin_ without his clothes. But fate was a heartless bitch, and Dwalin never washed with them, prefering to use a small room next to the main bath.

That could have worked pretty well too, of course. Privacy, and an excuse to be naked. Fili approved of that. He approved very much. But whenever he’d tried to join Dwalin in there, he had been yelled at and on one occasion he’d been thrown a bucket that had hit him straight on the head. Dwalin had apologized later for breaking Fili’s nose, but the young prince had learned his lesson. No sneaking in on Dwalin when he was washing.

Once his nose had healed, and with Dwalin still doing nothing more than smile and look, Fili decided that propriety could go fuck itself, and that he’d done enough waiting. He went to Dwalin and Balin’s house, opened the door without knocking, and

found himself in their kitchen, in front of Dwalin who wore nothing more than a thin white tunic. A thin white tunic with a very low neck. Which showed a fair amount of cleavage. And if there was a cleavage, there had to be breasts. Which there was.

“Well, that’s an unexpected surprised,” Fili said, staring at Dwalin’s chest and wondering how he’d managed to miss something that big.

“I think I should be the one saying that,” the warrior replied. “I know your mother, lad, and I know she taught you to knock before you enter someone’s house. And my eyes are up there.”

“I’m sure they are, but it’s not yours eyes I’m interested in at the moment. I’ve seen your eyes before. Plenty of times. Lovely eyes. Nice colour. Like them a lot. _These_ , on the other hand, are _new_. For how long exactly have you been a _woman_?”

Dwalin burst out laughing, and Fili blushed. Oh. Well. Of course. It was the sort of questions _Kili_ could have asked.

“All my life, laddie, as is sometimes the case. I was wondering if you knew, I must say. Thought that was why you kept things at just teasing me.”

“Teasing? I’m not the one _teasing_! When have I ever teased? I’ve been waiting for months for you to do the first step, since you’re older, and you haven’t done a thing, so if anyone’s teasing, it’s not _me_.”

“The first step? Lad, I can’t go and ask to court a damn prince, you know. Older I might be, but you’re royalty and the rules are different in that case. Didn’t your uncle and mother ever tell you that?”

“Oh.”

No, they hadn’t. Then again, Thorin didn’t even know the meaning of romance, and Dis thought that her sons were ‘too young for this now go clean your room or there’s not dessert for you tonight’.

“Wait, so that means you’ve got no objections to me courting you, then?” Fili asked, always quick to catch up with good news.

“You’ll have to ask better than that, princeling, but no, I have no problems with that concept.”

Fili fell on one knee. “Miss Dwalin, we have know each other for years. You are the strongest and most handsomest dwarf I have ever seen in my life, and I’m fairly sure you could rip off my head with your bare hands, should you choose to. You also have a a great sense of humour, a wonderful skill in a forge, and, more impressive, you’ve known my mother and uncle all your life, and yet you haven’t _murdered_ them. For these reasons and many more, I love you, and I wish to court you, so that I may one day marry you, if you’ll have me. Will you allow me to attempt to seduce you?”

She laughed again, and bent down to kiss him.

“Lad, I’ll allow you anything you want.”


	29. Kili/Ori/Fili Ori loves them both

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili/Ori/Fili, Maybe the brothers reassuring Ori that they don't mind sharing him, or something?

“What do you mean you _can’t_? Ori, you _just_ said you loved me too!”

The young scholar blushed and looked down. He hadn’t meant to say that. It had been a mistake, and after all the time he’d imagined what he’d say if such a thing ever happened, too!

“I know what I’ve said, Kili, and I _do_ , but I… it’s complicated.”

“Is it because I’m a prince?” Kili asked, sounding heartbroken. “Because if that’s it, then let me tell you that it doesn’t matter a bit, I don’t care ‘bout your family, I love you!”

“It’s not that! It’s just… it wouldn’t be _fair_.”

“Fair? What do you mean, _fair_?”

“I mean… I mean… I mean I’m love with _Fili_.”

“But you just said… I don’t… I don’t understand, Ori, you said…”

The young scholar dared a glance at the prince, who looked the very picture of confusion. Oh, well. He deserved the truth at least, especially since the truth was all Ori could ever give him.

“I love you, but I love him too. It’s… I can’t help it. I’ve tried, but I can’t stop, and it’s… the two of you or nothing, and I can’t have _both_ of you, so it’ll be _nothing_. I… if Fili had come to me instead of you, I’d have refused him too. ‘Cause it’s not fair, as I’ve said. I’m really sorry. I… I hope you’ll find someone else, someone a little less… _weird_.”

And without giving any time for the prince to react, he had run away. He just couldn’t face the anger and disappointment that Kili must surely have felt at that moment.

///////////

One thing Ori regretted about this Rivendell place was the horrible food the elves kept serving them. After his painful conversation of the afternoon, the dwarf dreamed to drown himself in strong, black tea, to stuff his face with chips, and to eat to the point of sickness.

It would have been easy to get sick eating broccoli, but it really wasn’t the sort of sickness he was looking for.

He was about to go beg the elves for something indecently covered in fat and oil, when two arms slid around his shoulders, and he found himself sandwiched between Fili and Kili.

“We need to talk,” the blond prince said with a smirk.

“Without delay,” his brother added, a silly grin on his face.

That didn’t sound good at all. They had that look in their eyes, the sort that they’d have when they pranked the hobbit about orc packs, or when they couldn’t say what they were doing when they had lost several ponies. But before Ori could protest, they dragged him away, taking him through deserted corridors and into a small, empty garden.

“What do you want then?” Ori asked warily. “Look, if it’s about earlier, I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt anyone, I really don’t, and…”

“Kili says you love both of us,” Fili said, ignoring him entirely. “Which I personally find surprising, because I’m sure I’d have _noticed_ if you had any interest in me.”

“No you wouldn’t, you’re just as blind as your uncle,” Ori protested, “and I was very careful ‘bout it.”

“But you always talked to Kili, and never to _me_.”

“Well, he’s easier to talk to. You’re the heir, and you’ve got all these great responsibilities, and I’ve always known nothing would ever work with you, even less than with Kili, so… you know.”

“But you really love me too?” Fili insisted.

“What does it matter? Can’t you too just leave me alone with my shame and my stupid feelings?”

“That’d be a _terrible_ waste,” Kili said, kissing him on the cheek, “what with the fact that we happen to _both_ be in love with you.”

Ori was silent for a moment.

“That’s not a very nice thing to joke about,” he eventually said, pain obvious in his voice. “I’d have expected better from you too. I’d never have thought you’d be _mean_ like that.”

“Mean?” Kili repeated. “We’re not being mean!”

“We’re being very, very kind,” Fili added.

“We’re offering you our love.”

“The two of us.”

“You said it’d be both or nothing, didn’t you? Well then, rejoice, Ori.”

“It won’t be nothing.”

“You’re actually serious about this?” Ori asked.

It was just too good to be true. Any minute he’d wake up, and he’d be in bed between Dori who snored and Nori who insulted people in his sleep, and…

The two princes shared a glance, and each kissed him on the cheek. Ori felt his entire face burn in embarrassment.

“Of course we’re serious,” Fili said with a soft laugh.

“How could we not be serious about you?” Kili added, grinning foolishly.

And Ori found he was grinning too, and fighting tears. Surely, he can’t deserve that much happiness. But when life gives you diamonds you don’t complain about their colour, as the saying went. And Ori certainly wasn’t about to complain about _this_.

“You’re both idiots,” he still said. “But I love you both, I really do.”


	30. Thorin/Thranduil Kili is their child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt : Kili is Thorin and Thranduil's love child And Thorin gave him to Dis and Heretofore Unnamed Hubby to raise because reasons I will leave to you AND WHEN KILI IS IN THE DUNGEON THRANDUIL KEEPS SUMMONING HIM TO JUST STARE AT HIM TRYING TO FIGURE IT

Dwarves were strange creatures, entirely unlike elves. Thranduil had never liked them much, if he were honest. But the young heir to the throne of Erebor had intrigued him ever since the first moment he had seen him. There was something about prince Thorin that always caught his attention, and he had found himself seducing the young dwarf, out of boredom and fascination in equal part.

Dwarves were strange creatures, and surprising ones. It had turned out that prince Thorin was, in fact, a princess. Thranduil had almost stopped his little game then. Things that were of no consequences between males could have dramatic results with a female. But she had insisted.

“You’re not the first lover I’ll have, elf king, and I doubt you’ll be the last. Though you are certainly the strangest one so far, if that makes you feel any better.”

 The elf had laughed then, surprising himself. It had been long since anything ressembling laughter had passed his lips.

“You call me strange, when your people has women wearing beards and looking so much like men? You queer little thing.”

“Let me show you just how _queer_ I can get, _elf_.”

Thranduil had smiled, and allowed her to take control, since she seemed to wish it.

He did not regret it.

Dwarves were strange creatures, and wonderful ones too.

* * *

 

The dragon had come but a few days later. Thranduil and his delegation had just left the mountain. It would have been easy to go back and fight along the dwarves.

It would have been foolish and pointless, it would have cost the lives of many of the elves who rode with him, if not all their lives.

But it would have been easy to do it, and they would have followed him in death.

Thranduil turned away, and went back to the forest. He felt sorry for the dwarves, and even more so for the princess he had grown to like in their few days together.

But his people had to be his priority, and the dwarves had brought this disaster upon themselves with their greed.

* * *

 

Thranduil had never expected to see his dwarf princess again. She looked as much as a male as she ever did, but where there had once been admiration and delight in her eyes whenever she looked at him, now there was only cold hatred. She accused him of betrayal, of letting them down.

At first the elf king thought she talked only of the dragon.

Until he saw one of the youngest dwarf, young, tall for his race, practically beardless. He had dark hair, just like the princess, but his eyes reminded Thranduil of his own father’s. His youngest son, Legolas, had the same ones.

Ah.

That at least answered many interrogations about whether dwarf and elf could interbreed, though he did wish he hadn’t been the one to find out.

* * *

 

It was silly of him to keep summoning the young dwarf like that, and he wasn’t sure anymore if he was looking for a resemblance or a difference.

Dwarves aged strangely. Thranduil had no way to make sure the dwarf lied about his age, but if he told the truth, then he might be his. Thorin had never laid with another elf, she’d said, and he believed her. She couldn’t have faked such curiosity and delight in seeing a body so different from that of her kind.

If the dwarf had any elf blood, and if he was Thorin’s child, then Thranduil knew he was his too.

He didn’t know what to make of that. The young dwarf was far from ugly, though among his people, his looks must have seemed unfortunate. He had spirit too, the same foolish insolence that Thorin had once had, and that had captivated Thranduil so much. he was a fighter, an archer, but he was not unkind, and seemed always worried about his companions, requesting to see them.

Not asking, not begging. _Requesting_.

He was Thorin’s kin, no mistake about that.

* * *

 

“Does he know?” Thranduil asked Thorin after a few days.

He dared not enter her cell. Even with bars between them, he could feel the icy burn of her hatred. If he went any closer, she would try to kill him, and he wasn’t sure she would fail.

“Does who know what?” she snarled.

“The child. The one with dark hair and no beard. Does he know who his father is?”

“He doesn’t even know his true mother,” she answered with a sad laugh. “He was raised by my sister, as her son. He knows nothing of you, and if you dare to tell him, there is not a place on all of Middle-Earth that will keep you safe from me. I’ll pursue you into Mordor or in the West if needs be.”

That seemed fair. Thranduil could only imagine what sort of insults the child must have received for his strange appearance. Learning that his entire life had been a lie, that he was in part of the race that his kin had no doubt taught him to hate almost as much as orcs, could break him.

“I won’t tell him. But I am glad to have met him. I would never have thought an alliance between elf and dwarf could have produced something that… interesting.”

Thorin grinned then, and for a short moment, Thranduil was reminded of the young, headstrong princess whose company he had so enjoyed, all these years before. The dragon had always been a tragedy, but seeing what Thorin might have been if not for the sorrow she had met, Thranduil almost regretted not offering his help to the dwarves.

He’d had to mind his people first, of course. And he could never have fed an entire kingdom of dwarves from the resources of Mirkwood alone. But he wondered if he shouldn’t have tried at least.

“Kili is the proof elf and dwarf shouldn’t mix,” Thorin said, almost laughing. “He’s stubborn as one of us, and sentimental as one of you.”

“You love him.”

“Of course I do. And so do you, elf, or you wouldn’t worry about him knowing who he really is.”

Thranduil smiled sadly, and nodded.

“He seems like a good boy. I am sure I would be proud of him if I knew him better.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Thorin replied. “I’m proud enough for the both of us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "oops, I now ship this"  
> There's a reason why I shouldn't do crack pairing  
> And it's because I'm fully capable of taking them seriously.


	31. Hello, I'm Nori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori is the Jack Harness of Middle-Earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://watchful-middle-brother.tumblr.com/post/48747986255/i-feel-like-nori-could-be-the-captain-jack-harkness  
> I am weak and I just liked the idea so much owo

There were far too many dwarves around for Bilbo’s taste. One had been bad. Two had been bothersome. Four had been a real problem.

Twelve was more dwarves than he’d ever have wanted to see in his entire life. He didn’t even know the name of most of them. Not one of these damn uninvited dwarves had so much as thought of introducing himself, and they were all eating his food and drinking his beer, and it was just more than he could bear.

It had to stop.

He picked one at random, a dwarf with hair shaped like… like a damn star, really. No other way to call it. What sort of person did their hair like that, honestly? Not that there wasn’t a certain charm to it, but it was utterly ridiculous nonetheless.

“Excuse me, master dwarf, may I have a word with you?”

The dwarf turned toward him, glanced him over, and smiled.

“Hello, master hobbit. Mr Baggins, is that right?”

Bilbo felt himself flush. Which was silly, really.

“Yes, that is indeed my name. Glad you know who I am, even if I have no clue who you are. Now, if you don’t mind, that’s my sausages that you’re holding, and…”

“Hello, Mr Baggins. I’m Nori,” said the dwarf, leaning slightly toward Bilbo. “Nice to meet you.”

Bilbo found himself stammering. He did not know why. The dwarf… _Nori_ was just saying hello. Nothing wrong with that, really.

Another dwarf, with white hair tied into a complex do, joined them and grabbed Nori by the ear to pull him away.

“Don’t _start_ , Nori!” the older dwarf grumbled.

“I was only saying hello!” Nori protested.

“I don’t mind!” Bilbo added.

“Yeah, that’s what prince Fili said too,” the older dwarf grunted. “And master Dwalin. And Thorin. And that Bombur fellow.”

Bilbo blushed again, but Nori just grinned smugly.

“I’ll see you later then, Mr Baggins. Just give me some time to get rid of my brother, eh?”

The hobbit quickly nodded, while the white haired dwarf dragged Nori away, grumbling about little brothers and idiots falling for the worse chat-up line of all time.


	32. Ori/Kili too protective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili wants to protect Ori. Ori isn't impressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by this: http://the-raven-and-the-brunette.tumblr.com/post/48863641256/folks-look-at-this-when-i-was-re-watching-the and by the fact that I love a protective Kili, but Ori is a strong independent dwarf who don’t need no prince.

The trolls had been a dreadful accident, and one for which Kili was entirely ready to take the blame for (though, really, Fili was just as guilty, because they had been watching the ponies together, and they had sent Bilbo after the trolls together, and they had globally been perfect idiots together).

He had been punished enough for his idiocy when he’d seen his lover, his betrothed, his One, tied to a tried and put above a fire to roast. If he hadn’t been tied too, and in a bag, he would have killed the trolls for daring to lay a hand on Ori. Even like that, he had half a mind to try and bite their ankles.

Thanks to sheer luck, a hobbit and a wizard, they had all been saved, but it had been a close thing. Too close. He’d have to be more careful, to protect his One better.

He was soon given an occasion to do exactly that when the orcs came, though to be honest, he’d rather have had a little sleep before having to be heroic again.

Still, he did his best, making sure Ori was never too far behind or ahead, keeping close to him. His little scholar wasn’t defenseless as such, but he was more fragile than many in the company, and he wasn’t safe among them, and maybe Kili should have insisted to not let him come. He knew that his One saw the quest as a great opportunity to tell a tale that might rival those of the elves, but it was just too _dangerous_.

That was his only thought as he shot arrow after arrow toward the ever approaching orcs and wargs. This quest was too dangerous.  And while most of them could take care of themselves, Ori could, he was too soft and nice and shy and perfect, he wasn’t made for that sort of things. For Mahal’s sake, he was trying to fight off orcs with a slingshot. Kili needed to have words with Nori and Dori about letting their little brother come on a quest with _nothing_ to defend himself.

“Go with the others!” the prince snarled at his lover, after killing an orc riding his warg toward the young scholar. “You’re too exposed here, there’s nothing you can do!”

“I’m not leaving you alone to…”

“You can’t _help_ , so go with your brothers!”

For half a second, Ori looked shocked and hurt, but that was quickly replaced by a mighty glare toward the prince. Oh, Kili knew that look only too well. It was a look that promised a long conversation about respect, and giving orders, and how it wasn’t fine and sweet at all to treat your lover as if they were a fragile human maid.

It was a look that spoke of a withdrawl of all kisses, hugs, and holding of hands for a time period that could go from a day or two to several months (to be honest, that one time Kili had deserved it. Asking Ori to drop his writing and try to find a more dwarvish trade so that no one would mind their engagement had been a very _bad_ move).

Kili really didn’t like that look.

Still, Ori did as he asked, and ran back with the others while Kili remained where he was, shooting and trying his best to protect the company until his uncle called him.

Everyone was gone, everyone but Thorin who waited for him before a great rock. He fought the short moment of panic that seized him when he could not see Ori anywhere, and ran to his uncle who pushed him down a hole, before quickly joining him there. Everyone was there, safe and sound, including Ori who seemed scared, a thing he wasn’t often. Out of sheer habit Kili went to stand by his lover side, and opened his mouth to reassure him, when his attention was taken away by the sound of a horn blowing outside, soon followed by a dead orcs rolling down their little cave.

As the sound of a battle outside went on, Kili felt a hand closing around his arm. He did not have to turn to know it was Ori’s hand.

“I hate you,” the young scholar whispered to his ear. “I hate you so much that sometimes I wonder why I love you.”

“I shouldn’t have said you couldn’t help,” Kili murmured, forcing himself not to look at his lover. Ori was certainly furious, and he didn’t feel ready to face that just yet.

“Yes, there’s that too, and we’ll deal with it later. I’m not an elf maid in distress, and it’s getting pretty annoying. And you are not a bloody tragic _Noldor_ , so stop throwing yourself into danger like one.”

“What?”

“You took so long to join us,” Ori whispered softly. “I was worried, you idiot. Don’t do that again, don’t take so many risks. I don’t want to lose you.”

Kili, at last, turned toward his lover. Ori did look worried, more than the prince had ever seen him (and Kili had done so many stupid things in front of him that he’d seen his worried face often enough indeed).

“I’m sorry,” the archer said, raising a hand to caress his One’s cheek. “I’ll be more careful now, I promise. But you’ve got to get yourself a proper weapon in exchange, love. I’m worried too. I can’t lose you.”

Ori smiled shyly, and quickly kissed his lips while everyone was busy inspecting the dead orc.

“You won’t lose me,” the young scholar assured him. “Not even death would rid you of me.”


	33. Kili/Gimli Gimli is too young for the quest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some Kili/Gimli, assuming that this is in a world where Gimli is only a bit younger than the princes- just enough to be underage, and therefore not allowed on the quest.

“It’s not fair.”

Fili rolled his eyes, annoyed by Gimli’s anger. As if the younger dwarf could ever have hoped to come with them, with how young he was, and how stupidly protective Gloin could get.

Kili, on the other hand, sincerely sympathized. He had had to fight to be allowed on the quest, and he knew only too well how Gimli felt.

“You’ll be among the first one to come when we’ve reclaimed Erebor,” the young prince promised him.

“There’s no honour in coming when all the hard work has already been done! I want to come with you, I want to fight with you, for our kingdom! I’ve got to see Thorin, I’ll make him understand…”

Fili sighed angrily. “Thorin’s got nothing to do with it. It’s your dad who doesn’t want you around, because you’re still a kid.”

“I’m not!”

“You _are_ , and you’re lucky I’m kind, because I just have one word to say, and Kili and you would be in big trouble, since he’s an adult and you’re _not_. So you’ll drop that idea of coming with us, or of bothering Thorin with that, or I’m telling your mother.”

“It’s not _fair_!” Gimli cried again, looking entirely offended at the idea.

Not that Kili could blame him, really. It wasn’t fair of Fili to use that to blackmail the younger dwarf. Twenty years of difference was nothing at all, and he wished Fili would stop making fun of him for it. So what if the laws were very clear on that subject, and he should never have that sort of relationship with an underage dwarf? They were in love, Gimli was his One, and the rest didn’t matter.

“If you tell on me and Kili, I’ll tell Dori about you and Ori,” Gimli threatened.

“No one will tell anyone anything,” Kili quickly said before this could degenerate into yet another fight. They used to get along so well all of them, but things had taken a turn for the worse since Thorin had first spoken of his quest. “Fee, leave us alone.”

/I take care this/ the younger prince discreetly added in Iglishmek. /I convince him stay/

Fili shrugged, but did not insist and went away.

“I hate your brother,” Gimli grumbled as they were alone.

“No, you don’t. Look, I know you’re angry, but… uncle barely allowed _me_ to come! Fili is right, you’d never have had permission, even if your father wasn’t funding this. And it’s for the best, I think. I’d rather know you’re here, safe, and protecting everyone we’re leaving behind.”

“I’m staying with the children and the old while you go and become a hero. Wonderful. I’m a warrior, Kili, I could help, I could…”

“You are a warrior,” Kili agreed, kissing him. “And I know some day, you’ll be a hero. There will be other quests, other occasions. Your time just hasn’t come yet, but it will, and your name will become famous. With a temper like yours, I wouldn’t be surprised you made yourself better know than me!”

“Are you complaining about my temper? Coming from you, that’s rich.”

“ _I_ ‘m not the one who got into a fight with a human over a bit of old poetry.”

“It was a very beautiful poem, and he called it no better than a donkey’s balls!”

Kili sniggered. The man had said that, and Gimli had grabbed him and shoved his face against an actual donkey’s balls. It had happened years earlier, but they still all loved that story.

“My favourite defender of poetry!” the prince teased. “See, you’ve got to stay, or men will start thinking that they can insult our culture!”

“Yes, yes, make fun of me all you want, my prince. But promise me you won’t take too many risks. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you while I…”

Kili forced a laugh. “What could happen to me?  My uncle would defend Fili and me to the death, you know that! We’ll be fine, and so will you, and when you come join us in Erebor, we’ll have a great celebration, and you’ll read poetry with Ori, train with Fili and sneak into my room, and everything will be just like here, only much better.”

Gimli grinned at that idea.

“I _do_ like the sound of that, my prince.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can say what you want, but you'll never convince me that Gimli isn't a poet at heart.  
> A poet with a big axe.  
> My favourite sort of poets.


	34. Ori - The Sound of Drums

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LOTR Ori from the Moria meeting Hobbit Ori and maybe telling him stuff usefull to fix things (like BOTFA)

Ori didn’t know where the older dwarf came from. There should have been none other of their kind in Laketown. That was what the men had told them, that except from the occasional dwarf from the Iron Hills, they were never any Short People around, and yet there _he_ was.

There was something familiar about him, as if Ori had seen him before, and yet at the same time he seemed entirely foreign, strange and wild, just like a wounded beast. Ori had felt terrified to see that bizarre dwarf following him around in town, and when the other had cornered him in a dark alley, he had prepared to get out of his sleeve the secret dagger Nori had given him.

“You won’t need that,” the other announced before Ori could move. “I am already dead. I’m… a ghost, I s’ppose.”

“A ghost? I thought only the Big Folks got… ghosts and the such!”

“Mahal sort of likes me,” the dead dwarf explained. “And he likes some friends of mine that died to, so I pleaded and he… granted me a chance. To set things right, if you will. To save them. But I’ll need you for that.”

“Me? Why me?”

“Because no one else can see me, and I do not have much time. Now listen carefully: Thorin, Fili and Kili are going to die in a few weeks, in a battle against orcs and wargs. I can’t tell you more than that, because I don’t know any more, they… Kili was already dead when I came back, and Fili died just a few minutes after, and I didn’t give a shit about Thorin at that moment. But they died, and it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right, and you’ve got to try and change that.”

“You want me to protect them in battle?”

Not that Ori didn’t want to protect them. The brothers were his friends, and Kili had hinted that they could become more than friends after the quest, an idea that Ori liked very much.

But he was no warrior, and he knew it well enough.

“The problem’s not the orcs,” the ghost answered. “The problem’s Thorin. He’ll get the gold-sickness, he’ll… make bad decisions, and he’ll try to start a war against people who should be his allies. And by the time he’ll change his mind, it’ll be too late. So you’ve got to do something. You’ve got to warn the elves, tell them that the goblins are preparing something, that Azog’s orcs will be with them. Tell them it’s everyone’s life that’s in danger. Tell them… tell them _anything_ that’ll make them come.”

“How can I trust you, though? You’re just… maybe you’re just some old weird dwarf that’s gone a little crazy.”

“Oh, I am,” the dead dwarf agreed. “I hear them everywhere I go. The Sound of Drums. Everywhere in my ears, everywhere approaching, and when they reach me, I’ll have to go for good. They are so close now… And you’ll hear them too, one day. You’ll hear them, if you can’t save the princes. You’ll hear them as I hear them. The Drums, and then…. then _nothing_.”

There was something familiar about that dwarf, Ori thought again, familiar and strange all at once, but he realized he did not _want_ to know _whose_ ghost he was.

“They are coming,” the dwarf muttered. “The Drums are coming. They are here. It’s the end for me… but you’ve got to save them, you’ve got to do it. You’ll never be the same if you don’t save them, you’ll have the guilt, and I’m… giving a choice to escape this. Save them. Tell the elves. Tell anyone. Save them. If they die, you’ll die too. Die inside. Save them.”

Ori wanted to protest, to tell that he had no way of contacting the elves, and that they would never listen to him anyway, not after what had happened in Mirkwood. But in the blink of an eye, the dead dwarf had gone, _disappeared_.

The young scribe found himself alone, and for a second he wondered if he had dreamed the encounter.

Until he heard the drums.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dum-dum-dum-dum  
> dum-dum-dum-dum  
> dum-dum-dum-dum


	35. Fili/Nori Dis discovers it all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili/Nori, Fili explaining to Dis why This Is A Good Idea Mom No Really.

Dis had her I-Am-Not-Impressed face on.

It was a face Fili was only too well acquainted with, although for the past few years, he’d seen it directed at his little brother rather than at him. Kili had never been good at hiding what he was doing from their mother. The latest example of this was his marriage to Ori, not a month after the battle that had almost killed him and Thorin.

Dis had almost had an attack at that one. She had been Greatly-Not-Impressed when she had discovered that, soon after arriving in Erebor, and the whole mountain had heard her yell at her youngest son.

Fili, who was a lot cleverer than that, had wisely made sure that _no one_ knew he had a lover, except for a few chosen people (namely, Ori and Kili and Mr Baggins who tended to know everything about these sort of things). That was because he knew that if Ori was a bad choice for a husband, Nori was the worst he could have ever decided to sleep with.

Nori said he was just afraid of his mother.

Nori, as usual, was right.

Fili was afraid of his mother because he was _clever_. Only an idiot would have risked Dis’s anger without terror in his heart. Actually, even _Thorin_ did his best to not make her angry.

If Fili had had it his way, his mother would never have known that his meeting with Erebor’s most honest thief involved _more_ than exchanges of information and plotting to keep the royal family safe.

If Fili had had it his way, his mother would have _knocked_ before entering his room while he was in the middle of one of these meetings.

At least, they had barely started undressing, though Nori had already removed most of his knives, meaning he looked dangerous instead of looking lethal. Thank the Maker for small mercies.

“I can explain!” The prince hurriedly claimed. “And it’s…”

“If you say it’s not what it looks like, you’ll be insulting my intelligence, Fili,” his mother cut him. “And you do _not_ want to do that.”

“Then it’s _exactly_ what it looks like. Is there anything I can say that will make you even a little bit less furious?”

“No. How long has it been going on?”

“Since the quest,” Fili answered, just as Nori said “About three years now.”

“I see. Then I will talk to you,” Dis announced, pointing at the thief, “since you seem to have decided to be brave. A very dangerous decision, in my opinion, especially for a dwarf naked in my son’s room despite the fact he’s twice his age.”

“I my defence, he seduced me,” Nori announced with a grin. “You can’t resist when a prince comes and offers you a quick shag, can you? I mean, who knows what sort of dreadful person he could have gone to if I had said no. He might have ended with a thief, you know.”

For a short second, Fili thought his mother was _smiling_ , but in the blink of an eye, that was gone and she was glaring at his thief.

“You are dreadfully cheeky for a naked dwarf. You know that I could have you executed for what you’ve done to my son.”

“And again, in my defence, I haven’t _done_ much to him. He’s a prince, it’s only logical that he’d be the one doing, don’t you think?”

“Don’t tell her about that!” Fili protested, heat rising on his cheeks as he punched his lover’s shoulder to make him stop. “She’s my _mother_ , you’re not supposed to tell her about _that_!”

“See?” Nori smirked. “He’s still as pure and innocent as when I first met him. Blushing like a maid, even. No harm done to him, really.”

And that, really, settled it. If Dis didn’t kill Nori, then Fili would do it. He had never been so humiliated in his entire life, and the fact that his mother seemed amused by the whole thing didn’t help one bit. He’d have preferred her angry, really. He could deal with a furious Dis. But seeing her being charmed that way by Nori was… _disturbing_.

“Dori said you did that,” Dis said with a grin. “I thought he was exaggerating, but he wasn’t. You’ll have to teach my boy a little of your charm, Nori. He’s a better diplomat than his uncle, but really, that’s like having more people skills than a dead oyster, it’s not much of an accomplishment. You, on the other hand, sound like you could convince an elf to curl his hair.”

“I do my best, you highness. And I’ll try to help your son. He’s got some potential.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“I’m _right here_!” Fili reminded them. “I can _hear_ you! Do you want me to leave you two alone, maybe, since you seem to be getting along so well?”

Dis rolled her eyes.

“Fili, darling, do not be so _dramatic,_ you’re starting to sound like your uncle. It’s not as if any of this is a surprise, really. I’ve known about this for a while.”

“You have? But how… Kili!”

“Dramatic and paranoiac. You have spent far too much time with Thorin. Your brother didn’t say a thing. Dori, on the other hand, was very worried about the whole thing, and told me a week after I arrived.”

It was Fili’s turn to roll his eyes. He should have known. Dori was such a mother-hen sometimes, and he really was distrustful of Nori, and…

“Poor Dori, he seemed convinced you would break his brother’s heart,” Dis sighed. “he accused you of toying with Nori’s feelings, to be using him only to relieve your bestial carnal instincts (his words, not mine) and that it would all end in tears. I must say I’m quite glad to see mister Nori is more than capable of holding his ground if need be. After talking to Dori, I thought he was as soft and fragile as a halfing, really.”

Fili sniggered at that, earning a glare from a very embarrassed Nori.

“I’m glad we all agree that there’s nothing to worry about,” Dis declared with a happy little nod. “I will leave you love birds to… carry on with what you were doing. I had just come to remind my son that he was supposed to dine with his uncle and the ambassadors from Mirkwood tonight. You boys have fun!”

She turned back to the door then, and Nori risked a grin at his lover. But as she put her hand on the handle, Dis looked their way again, with a smile that would have made a warg look kind.

“Oh, and by the way, Nori,” she said, her voice cheerful and dripping with honey. “You might have been the greatest thief in all of Ered Luin, you might be one of the richest dwarves in the world, but _I_ am Dis of Erebor, and trust me when I tell you that next to me, you are powerless. I will not make you stop this little affair you’re having with my _baby_ , but if you ever _hurt_ him, you’ll wish the dragon or the orcs had killed you, because I will become your worst nightmare. See you boys later!”

Once the door had closed behind her, Fili turned to Nori, who was pale and tense and looked… well. _Terrified_. There was no other word for it, really.

“That went fairly well,” Fili tried to joke.

“I’m starting to think Ori and Kili had it easy. Your mother is good at this. She should have been a mob boss.”

“She’s a princess. It’s the same thing, only she’s allowed to do it, people lover her for it, and she’s got people like Dwalin working for her in the name of Justice and the Law. _And_ we’re lucky she’s not _queen_.”

Nori shivered at that very thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dis, Nori and Fili should not be allowed to be in a room together because their combined sass might destroy the universe.


	36. Ori&Bifur vegetables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Maybe Ori & Bifur? Platonic or slashy, doesn't matter. But talking in Khuzdul and swapping Bifur's meat for Ori's greens and beard-braiding and Bifur being a complete sweetheart... They could be adorable. :)

Hobbits were a nice bunch, they really were, but they had a most dreadful tendency to put greens everywhere. And while Ori did eat those when there was nothing better to be had, well, if there was any better, then he’d like to have the better, thank you very much. At home, he bargained with Dori whenever their Ma cooked something he didn’t like, but it would have looked childish of him to do so now, when he was in a great quest full of important people.

He knew he had to eat. It was one of their last chance for decent food. The next evening, they would meet their company’s burglar, and after that, the adventure would being properly. Ori needed to eat as much as he would while he still could.

But carrots and parsnip just didn’t count as food, they really didn’t.

_“Hey, boy!”_

Ori looked away from his plate and at the dwarf sitting on the other side of the table. It was the scary one. The one with an axe in his head. Dori had told him not to stare at the wound, and not to talk to him, because he looked dangerous and vicious.

He also had not touched any of his meat.

-Trade?- the older dwarf signed.

-Meat for vegetables?-

The scary dwarf nodded, and Ori smiled. It was Durin’s day come early. He quickly handed his plate to the other one, and grabbed the plate offered in exchange. No one seemed to notice, thankfully, or he’d have received yet another lecture from Dori.

The older dwarf and him shared a grin, and then started eating again.


	37. Ori/Fili - Ori being protective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori protects someone (instead of the other way around)? The pairing doesn't matter, because I ship Ori with all the things. We just need more bad ass Ori in the fandom. (:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more helping than protecting, but still, Ori being awesome :D

Fili’s day was supposed to go like this: get to the human town in the valley, give the sword to the local lord, get the money, come home, give uncle the money, go to the tavern with Kili, get drunk, go to bed.

Except it had rained all morning, meaning there was mud everywhere, meaning his pony had slipped and fallen.

Fallen on him. Crushing his leg.

Before running away as wolves started howling not far away.

Fili’d had better days.

Still, he did his best to try and crawl away to the roadside. Wolves were bad, but there were worse things in the mountain, and since he couldn’t stand up (his right leg just couldn’t take any weight. He wasn’t sure there was anything broken as such, but walking wasn’t an option) he’d have to hide under the trees and wait until his uncle realized he was late and come for him.

That was were he saw the dwarf.

Few dwarf left the mountain if they could help it, and those who did were warriors, people trained with weapons who could defend themselves against the many creatures that might attack them aboveground.

This dwarf was not a warrior.

He was small, and skinny (or maybe he just looked skinny because he was wearing a cardigan meant for someone twice his size), with hands that shown he’d never done any hard work. He looked soft. He had no reason to be there. And yet, there he was, his face all flushed (from running probably, considering how he was panting) and he was looking at Fili with no small amount of worry.

“I heard the pony,” he claimed. “I’d come for plants, and I heard the pony, and are you well? Do you need help?”

“Can’t walk,” Fili hissed, figuring that this little thing of a dwarf couldn’t be much of a menace. “Can’t go home like that. Think you could… run to the mountain, ask for help?”

“And leave you alone? There’s wolves around, didn’t you hear them? No, no, I. I’ll carry you to safety!”

Fili couldn’t help a snigger at that idea, and the small dwarf shot him a hurt look.

“I can carry you! I. I’m stronger than I look! And I’m not leaving you alone anyway! C’mon, take my hand, I’ll help you up!”

Fili almost laughed again, but decided it wouldn’t polite to do so. His mother would have his hide if she ever heard about him being rude to someone who tried to help. The small dwarf kneeled down beside him, and the prince put an arm around his shoulder. When the other started rising up again, Fili was sure the little one wouldn’t even manage to move him one inch.

To say he was surprised when the other lifted him as if he weighted nothing would have been the understatement of the century.

“Told you I was stronger than I looked,” the little dwarf said with a small, pleased smile.

“It’s still a long way to the Door,” Fili pointed out. “Think you’ll manage?”

“We’re not going to the Door, I know another way in. I. I’m not really s’pposed to show it, I guess, ‘cause it’s s’pposed to have been shut down years ago, but. But you’re hurt! I can’t. I can’t take any risks when you’re hurt, right?”

“I honestly don’t care what you do, as long as you do it fast. It’s getting late you don’t want to still be out there when night comes, trust me.”

“Let’s go then,” the little one agreed, and they started walking.

With every step they took, Fili expected the little one to drop him, to slip, to admit he was lost. He didn’t. He went one, going slow to make it easier on Fili, and before long they came to some boulders, next to wich was carefully hidden a trapdoor.

Going down wasn’t easy (there was a _ladder_ , for Mahal’s sake. Ladders weren’t easy to navigate on one leg) but they were safe, and inside, and… dry, if not warm.

“I honestly didn’t think you’d manage,” Fili admitted, and the little dwarf blushed.

“We’re not done yet. Still a long way to the city, and damn, if we meet my brother’s friends, I’m in big trouble, and so are you.”

“I’m not worried. I feel perfectly safe in your hands.”

That made the small dwarf blush even harder, which Fili was starting to find rather fetching. Just as the little one’s proud smile was perfectly adorable. Maybe this trip hadn’t been such a bad thing in the end.


	38. Ori - writing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori, how did he discover his talent?

Ori had always drawn, as far as he could remember. Dori had told him once that, even as a dwarfling, he would doodle in the dirt, creating flowers and houses and stick figures on the ground and telling great stories about them.

He’d never thought much about it. It was just a thing he did, the way Dori made clothes and Nori had great adventures. It was just _natural_.

When his mother gave him for Durin’s day some slate and a few pieces of chalk, he was terribly grateful to her, and he drew her portrait as a thank you. She said it was wonderful, and for days he dared not erase it because he was so proud of it.

In the end, Nori got him a new piece of slate so that he’d be able to keep their mother’s portrait.

“You’ve got talent, kid,” his brother told him. “next time I go away, I’ll try to bring you back some ink and paper. Talent like that, we can’t let it go to waste.”

“But paper’s _expensive_!”

“Yeah, and you’re _good_. Never stop doing this, kid.”

Nori left not long after, because he’d gotten into yet another argument with Dori and their mother.

It was their mother who found a master for Ori. He was still young to be apprenticed, but that dwarf owed her a favour or two, his apprentice had just gone away, and he had agreed to take Ori in for half the usual price.

“You’ll have to be good, and to work hard,” his mother told him the night before she brought him there. “Make me proud. I know you can do great things, and learn fast, so make me very proud.”

“I’ll try, Mama.”

“I’m sure you will. And remember. If the kids in town bother you and tell you that you’re not a real dwarf for being a scribe…”

“I kick them in the stones, like No showed me.”

“That’s my boy,” she said, smiling proudly. “Now go to bed, jewel. Tomorrow will be a very long day.”


	39. Ori/Kili coffe shop AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a coffee-boy!Kili and that-mysterious-writer!Ori A

That wasn’t a very glamorous job, working in a coffee shop. In films and book, it meant meeting lots of quirky, strange, fascinating people who happened to be regulars and whose life you’d see unfold before you in a delightful web of drama.

In reality, the most interesting regular that Kili had noticed was that woman who didn’t seem to understand that a mocha without chocolate wasn’t a mocha at all. Well, and there was that drunk man who kept trying to buy beers. That was the sort of place he was working at.

After years of watching reruns of Friends, he felt cheated.

But then, one day, the Writer came.

Kili supposed he was a writer. He had that slightly hipster look, always came with his laptop, and only took a break from writing to order a new tea. Kili wasn’t sure what he wrote about (and he didn’t understand how he could find so much to write and still have more to say. He’d caught a glance at his file, one day. It was 142 pages long, and he was still writing as fast).

Writer or not, he was cute. He had big ears and a big nose (Kili strictly forbid himself to think of what else might be big), he was shy and blushed a lot when people tried to talk to him (he even _stuttered_ when he had to order anything from Kili). After the first week, Kili had admitted to himself that he had a crush. A huge one.

It was a hopeless thing, of course. The other man didn’t even look at him, and every time Kili had tried to talk to him, he had been impossibly reluctant, as if just his conversation were a source of intense pain to Ori (he’d managed to get his name, at least. That was about the only thing he’d managed to learn at all.)

Maybe he just wasn’t into men. Lots of people weren’t into men. Lesbians, for example. Or straight guys. Maybe Ori was one of those.

“He’s about as straight at me,” Fili told him when he voiced his idea.

Fili had come after his classes. He often did that of course, but he had admitted himself that this time, he had done it to finally get a look at Kili’s mysterious writer.

“You’re not straight at all,” Kili protested. “You are… what’s that expression that mister not-your-boyfriend uses? _as gay as the Village People doing a choregraphy on Dancing Queen_?”

“My point exactly. He’s so far in the closest he’s in Narnia, sure, but he’s a _queen_ of Narnia, trust me on that.”

“Then he’s a queen who doesn’t like me.”

“Wanna bet on that?”

Kili cringed. he knew what it was like to bet with his brother. He’d done it often enough to know his chances of winning. And yet, he felt terribly sure that Ori didn’t like him at all.

“What’s the bet?”

Fili grinned. “Two bets. First, I bet you don’t have the balls to go ask him out. If you manage to just do that, I won’t drink your orange juice for a month. Of you don’t do it, you clean my room for the same period of time.”

“That’s fair. What’s the second then?”

“I bet that if you ask him out, say, to go to that pub we went with Nori the other day and then go watch the lastest Marvel, he’ll agree. If I win, you’re forbiden from making any allusions to my having a boyfriend in front of Ma and uncle until the day I decide to introduce him to the family. And if he says no… I’ll get you two games of your choice, and I won’t be allowed to complain about your taste or to mock how bad you are at said games. Ever. Deal?”

“At least that means I’ll finally get Bioshock Infinite,” Kili sighed. “Fine. Deal. Now watch and admire my public humiliation in front of the entire world.”

Fili sniggered as Kili went to talk to the little writer.

He came back less than five minutes later, flushed and with a foolish grin on his face.

“So, do you have a date, or do you have a game?”

“Date,” Kili brightly answered. “I don’t know how you did that, but he agreed. Oh fuck, what am I going to _wear_ , Fee?”

“And this, little brother, is the part where you’re glad that you have a brother _as gay as the Village People doing a choregraphy on Dancing Queen.”_


	40. Nori/Bofur after Gimli's return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori/Bofur, hurt/comfort

"Ye couldn't know," Bofur claimed, keeping a respectable distance between him and Nori.

The other dwarf hadn't been a thief in years, but in moment of distress, his old habits tended to come back. And this was a moment of distress if Bofur had ever known one.

"I should have known," Nori growled, clutching at the book in his hands. "I should have _known_. Thirty years without news, I should have known. And I knew it was a bad idea, I should never have let him leave. Can't believe _Dori_ let him leave. He was just a _kid_."

"He was no kid, not at a hundred, and he never was one t'listen when people told him no. Took after ye in that."

"I should have stopped him. I should have gone with him. Why didn't I go with him?"

"Cause ye had duties here," Bofur reminded him, taking a step closer. "Cause Dain needed ye, and ye thought Balin's idea was crap. 'Cause ye'd promised to treat him like an adult, and to respect his choices. 'Cause that was ye being a good brother."

Nori tensed at that, but Bofur felt it was safe once again to go near him. He put a hand on his lover's shoulder, not daring to try for more physical contact.

"None of this would have happened if we hadn't let him follow Thorin."

"Aye, and if the Maker had listened to th'great one, we wouldn't be here. We're dwarves, No. Charming and hard working, but not very good at listening when people tell us to not do a thing. Ye couldn't have stopped him, No. Not when he'd decided."

"I should have tried."

"Ye tried," Bofur reminded him, feeling he could now take the other his arms, and doing just that. "Ye told him everything ye could say to make him stay, and he made his choice anyway. Ye tried all ye could, and he still went."

Nori stared at the book in his hands, and Bofur pulled him closer to him.

"I should have tried harder, the thief whispered. "I should have tried _harder_."


	41. Fili/Dwalin coffeshop AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coffeeshop AU, inspired by this post on tumblr: http://tagath.tumblr.com/post/51741981984/brolininthetardis-this-is-a-coffeeshop-au

Dwalin looked at the board, and sniggered. It was written in big, friendly letters “Today your barista is 1)Hella fucking gay 2) Desperately single. For your drink today I recommend: You give me your number.”

He rarely drank coffee, or at least not in that sort of trendy places full of young people with thick glasses who tried too hard to look clever. But one look inside informed him that the barista was a rather cute blond boy, maybe younger than he usually liked, but close enough to his type. And he had a sense of humour, if that board was anything to go by, which was really was Dwalin liked most in a man.

There was no queue.

He went in, and smiled at the lad.

“What can I get you, sir?”

“Apparently, I’m the one who can get you something,” Dwalin grinned. “There was something on the board about a phone number?”

The lad blushed at that. “Oh. That’s not me, I’m the other barista. The one who isn’t single. Sorry. The desperately single one is that blond man over there, and that’s my boyfriend with him.”

There was a slight hint of defensiveness at that, as if the lad had had too many people trying to hit on him in spite of the presence of that dark haired man at the table nearest to the counter. Dwalin didn’t care. He didn’t care, because the other barista was like a dream come true, with blond hair and a short beard, and a smile to die for.

The lad at the counted chuckled.

“Hey, Fili, there’s someone for you, get over here!”

The blond turned their way, and his surprise soon turned in undisguised interest as he looked at Dwalin.

“Hey there,” he said cheerfully, walking closer. “My name is Fili, and you are?”

“Dwalin.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m done in five minutes. How about you sit somewhere, and I’ll join you in a moment to see if I do want your number? And be careful, Ori here will tell me what you ordered, and I’ll be judging you on that. Choose wrong, and you’ll sit alone.”

Dwalin had a black coffee with no sugar.

Apparently, that was the right choice.

When he left, he had Fili’s number in his phone, and a date for the next Friday.


	42. Bofur&Nori Secret door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: two characters find a secret door, that they cannot open, but are absolutely sure that they need to

“Not a good idea,” Bofur claimed, looking at the rock. “Even if we _could_ do it.”

“It’s a door, it’s in front of us, and it’s closed,” Nori protested. “In what world would opening it not be a good idea? This is a challenge if I ever saw one, Bof!”

“We’ve talked about challenged from objects, Nori. They’re bad ideas.”

“So you don’t want to know what’s on the other side? Where’s you sense of adventure!”

“Lost it after the Battle,” Bofur replied, though he started looking at the door with a little more curiosity. “It is a pretty weird place to have that, though.”

“I’ll need a better pick though. Third one I’m breaking on this. The lock is all rusted.”

“D’ye need oil?” Bofur suggested, pulling a little flask from his pocket. “Might help, no?”

Nori sniggered, and took it from him. “Why do you even have that on you?”

“Ye never know when ye’re going to get lucky. Does it help?”

“A bit, yeah. Just need to push and… there we go!”

The door opened at last, in a terrible creaking noise. The two dwarves stared in shock and disbelief.

Then quickly closed it again.

“We’re never talking ‘bout that again,” Bofur decided, his hands shaking.

“Never,” Nori agreed. “What even was…”

“Never. Talking. ‘Bout. It. Again.”

“Okay. Let’s go and get drunk.”

“Deal”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a few suggestions as to what they found. My favourite so far is "Thror's stash of Arkenporn"


	43. Ori/Kili sex lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: kili wants sex lessons to impress ori, whom he wants to court. he asks his brother, who directs him to dwalin, who directs him to nori, who directs him to... ori. and the lessons start (with a special for awkwardness)

Fili was struggling not to laugh, his brother could just tell, and it made Kili blush even more.

“No, but let me get this straight,” the blond prince sniggered. “You have a crush on someone, but you won’t tell me who because they’re so perfect I’d steal them from you.”

“I know how you are!”

Fili waved his hand as if to signify that this had nothing to do with their problem.

“So, instead of doing the clever thing and going to declare your flame, you first want to learn how to have sex, just in case. Kili, you’re 77, how can you still be a virgin? I started fucking before I was fifty!”

“My point exactly!” His brother quickly explained. “You know how it goes. I don’t. Well, I _know_ how it goes, I just don’t have any personal experience on that going, which is now the thing I need. I’ve got to be good at this, I’ve got to make it _perfect_ for him!”

“Kee, are you asking me to fuck you? Because I’m willing to help, be sure of that, but that’s pretty much were I draw the line.”

Kili gasped in horror. “I didn’t mean that at all! I just want you to… to help me find a person that can help me with it? You’ve got experience! Well! Where did you get it?”

“Here and there,” Fili answered with another hand wave.”The most I’ve learned was with Dwalin, though.”

“Dwalin?”

“Yeah, when he was in charge of teaching me how to handle axes. I won’t give you the long story, but that’s not the only thing I learn to handle with him,if you get my meaning. You could try asking him. He likes you well enough, and he’s always willing the help the royal family, isn’t he?”

Kili nodded. He would ask Dwalin, then. He could do this. He was not afraid. It was all so he’d be able to bring pleasure to his One when the day came. He could do this.

After all, what was the worse that could happen?

* * *

 

Dwalin laughed at him.

Kili felt mortified.

Sure, it hadn’t been very subtle of him to go to the warrior and ask if he’d mind fucking him, just once, to see how it went, but being laughed at like that still hurt.

“No offence lad, but you’re not my type, and I don’t top anyway.”

“But Fili said you’d help! He said you taught him a lot!”

For some reason, Dwalin seemed to find that answer even more hilarious than the initial offer.

“Yeah, he’d say that, wouldn’t his? Little minx that he is. Needs to be taught about manner, that boy. But what do you want to get shagged so badly, anyway? No shame in being a virgin at you age. I was older than you when I started. Just because your brother shared the bed of half the town doesn’t mean you’ve got to take it as a challenge.”

“I’d never!” Kili protested, though he had to admit that he had been jealous once or twice of how easy the whole sex thing was for his brother. “It’s just, I’m in love, you see.”

“Then go to your lover, let him ride you, and learn together. Just remember to use lubricant, that the only thing you really need to know before you get started.”

“But I want it to be perfect for him!” Kili whined. “He’s so handsome and shy and sweet and wonderful, I want to make sure our first coupling is the most wonderful that ever was!”

“Another advice then: don’t use the word coupling. He won’t like it. And nothing’s perfect, especially not for these things.”

“Very good then? Please, Dwalin, please! I’ve got to learn, or I’ll embarrass myself and he’ll never want me again and I will be alone forever and die of a broken heart like an elf!”

Dwalin rolled his eyes, but appeared to think about it.

“Well, if you really want to _learn_ that badly, I know someone who can help…”

* * *

 

Kili should have known that it would be a bad idea to let Dwalin take him to that someone’s house. He should have ran away as soon as he had recognized Ori’s house, but before he could do anything, Dwalin had knocked and Nori had opened the door.

“The lad wants to get fucked to learn how to take it well,” the warrior announced as if he were talking about buying peas. “Thought you were the dwarf for it.”

Kili faintly hoped that the ground would swallow him. Instead, Nori pulled him inside and, after wishing Dwalin a good day, he closed the door.

“So, what’s the situation then?” Nori asked. “Kids don’t usually just wake up with an idea that it’d be nice to learn how to be a good fuck.Not unless they’re your brother, anyway. He’s special. What’s your story?”

The young prince blushed, and looked away. This hadn’t been the plan. At all. This was _so far_ from being the plan.

“I’m in love with someone and I want to make it good for them,” he mumbled. “And I asked Fili ‘bout it and he said to ask Dwalin who took me here, but I don’t think I should be here at all and I’m sorry, I’ll go home now.”

“Does he know?”

“What?”

“The dwarf you’re in love with,” Nori explained, speaking very slowly, in a way that he managed to make menacing. “Does he know you love him, or are you thinking of fucking him before you’ve enquired about his feelings?”

“I… think he sorts of likes me? Maybe? I’m not too sure. He doesn’t hate me, so that’s always that. And I know I should talk to him first, but then if he says no there’s no point in learning anymore because I’ll never love again, and if he says yes, then going to someone else would be cheating, but doing it with what I know now means I’d be rubbish, and he deserves someone who can really make him feel good!”

“If he loves you, anything will be good enough.”

“But he deserves better than good enough! He’s the most wonderful dwarf that ever was, and he’s so clever and nice and kind and I love him so much and I want to make it perfect for him! Only I… can’t… learn with you. It’d be… weird. Don’t ask why. But it’d be super weird.”

“I can imagine it’d be,”Nori smirked. “But you are in luck, young prince. I know just the person who can help you. And you’re so very lucky that I think he’ll be here soon enough. How lucky of you. Do you want tea while we wait?”

Kili shook his head. He didn’t want tea. He didn’t want to be having sex with Nori. He didn’t want to have sex with any of Nori’s friends either. He wanted to never have talked about his problem to Fili. That was what he wanted, because everything was as bad as it could ever get, and the universe hated him, and it couldn’t get worse than that.

Or so he thought, until Ori came in.

Now _that_ was the worse possible thing ever in the history of horrible things, and if Nori told Ori why he was there, Ori would think he was shallow and debauched, and he’d never want anything to do with him, and _then_ he’d really die of a broken heart.

“Hello, Kee!” the young scribe mumbled, looking surprised to see him. “What are you doing here? I mean, not that it’s not nice to see you! It’s always nice tosee you! But why are you…”

“Nothing! I’m not doing anything, I was going to go, and…”

“Kili is in love,” Nori announced with a wolfish smile, “and he wants to learn how to have sex so that he’ll be able to please his lover. I thought you might be able to help him with that?”

Both boys blushed at that, though while Kili once again wished that the ground would open under his feet, Ori managed to glare at his brother, only managing to make Nori laugh.

“I knew you’d like the idea,” he snorted. “Very well, boys. I’ll let you discuss the details, and I’ll go distract Dori while you have your little lesson. Try to close the bedroom door though, just in case.”

Kili wanted to die. he had to die. He hoped you could die from sheer embarrassment.

“Don’t mind him to much,” Ori whispered. “He thinks he’s funny but…”

“ _I don’t want to fuck you!_ ”

“What?”

“I really don’t want to fuck you at all! I’d never want to fuck you! I don’t want to fuck anyone at all, but you even less than the others!”

Ori seemed hurt by that, just as much as if Kili had slapped him.

“Well, I’m sorry I’m not to your taste,” he whispered sadly. “I thought… ah, well. Sorry you had to be taken in one of my brother’s games. I. I understand. Don’t worry.”

The prince mentally repeated what he’d said that could elicit such an answer. Oh. Well. That had been a very Thorinesque of him, really.

“I’d never fuck you, he repeated,” trying not to let the tears in Ori’s eyes hurt too much, “because I’d… I’m in love with you and if… if I ever were to have the great luck of sharing your bed, I’d want us to make love, not just to… to _fuck_.”

“You love me?”

Kili nodded, too afraid to dare looking at the other dwarf’s face. That was the moment when he was rejected, and then all that would be left for him to do  was to get very drunk and never be happy ever again and…

He felt hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look up. Ori was smiling at him, radiating happiness. But before Kili could think about what that meant, the young scribe was kissing him, softly at first, but it grew more firm when Kili regained some control of his brain and put his arms around the other dwarf to pull him closer.

“I love you too,” Ori breathlessly claimed when the separated a moment. “And I think there’s been discussions of lessons? because I’m up to it, if you’re up to it. I mean, there’s no obligation and it’s fine if you don’t want to, but if you want it then I want it, and…”

Kili cut him with another kiss, deciding that would be enough of an answer. Ori seemed to be of a same mind, and he started dragging him toward his bedroom.

He had _known_ this was a great idea.


	44. Nori&Bilbo Nori is protective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori finds himself trying to take care of Bilbo (re: Jed Brophy) and finds, to his horror, that he's beginning to act like Dori.   
> (inspired by this: http://tagath.tumblr.com/post/51824144139 )

“You should eat more, mister Baggins,” Nori grunted, pushing another bowl of soup that way. “These people seem glad to help, so take what you can, who knows when we’ll have that much again.”

“That is very nice of you, but I am quite full already.”

“Thought hobbits were never full. I’m sure you’ve got room for some more.”

Bilbo glared at him, clearly annoyed to have the appetite of hobbits made fun of, but before he could protest and explain that he wasn’t a bottomless pitt, really, he was, he sneezed loudly.

“Oh, damn,” the hobbit groaned. “Not that…”

Nori frowned. That didn’t sound good. Didn’t look good, either. The little one had taken a rather ashen colour since the beginning of the feast, and he had refused a third serving of _anything_. Nori didn’t know much about hobbits, but that didn’t sound good. And since everyone was too busy stuffing themselves to realize that their burglar was very clearly _dying_ , then Nori would have to be the one helping him.

It was only fair, after all he’d done for them.

“Are you sure you don’t want a little more soup, lad?” he insisted. “It would do you good. Just a spoonfull!”

“I’ve told you I didn’t!” Bilbo grumbled, his eyes closed, a hand massaging the side of his head.

Didn’t look good.

“Do you want me to ask them to find you a quieter place?”

“I’b fide, Dori.”

“I’m _Nori_. Nearly six months of travelling and you still don’t get our names right?”

“I _dow_ you’re Dori! I’b dot… oh. Dori, do I sound as bad as I think I do?”

“You sound like a troll.”

“Oh, _thank you_. Glad you’re here to bake be feel better. Oh, this is bad, this is do bobent to be getting a cold!”

“That’ll teach you to around bathing in cold water like that,” Nori joked, though more to hide is worry than out of real mischief. “Though if you want, I know a cure. Just need an egg and some beer, then we’ll get you to bed and you’ll rest plenty, like the good little hobbit you are.”

Bilbo glared at him again.

“You sound like Dori, you dow.”

“For clarity’s sake, are you trying to say I sound like myself, or like my brother?”

“I say you are do better thad your brother!” Bilbo sniffed. “Worse, eved. You’re acting like a bother-hed.”

“I’m not!”

“You _are_. Dori, is the world getting blurry, or is it just be having troubles keeping by eyes oped?”

Nori frowned, and looked at the hobbit again. He had somehow managed to get even paler over the last few minutes, and he clearly had trouble keeping his eyes focussed.

That didn’t look good.

And Oin seemed far too drunk already to be of any help, as were all the others, because not a single one of them appeared to care. Nori would have to handle that on his own, then, since he was the only responsible one, and…

Oh, damn.

Bilbo was right. He _did_ sound like Dori.


	45. Dori/Bilbo first kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Choose the most obscure pairing you can think of and write their first kiss.  
> (I chose Dori/Bilbo because WHY ISNT IT A MORE POPULAR SHIP I DONT GET IT FFS)

They were not a couple, no matter how much Nori liked to joke about it. And Dori knew he was only asking for trouble with how much he kept denying that there was more than friendship between Bilbo and him. He knew that the best thing to do when his brother was in such a mood was to ignore him, but he wasn’t sure Bilbo would know it, and he would hate to have the hobbit think he did not care about his reputation.

Hobbits, after all, were very proper creatures. Bilbo has insisted on the first few days of their travels that he was considered very respectable by his peers. He’d never exactly said that it was a fact he enjoyed, but he had repeated it so much that Dori had concluded it mattered a lot to him. However, relationships between different species were badly considered in the Shire. And Dori would never have forgiven himself if he had done anything that might bring shame on their burglar.

Not that he had any particular desire to engage in a relationship with mister Baggins.

Well, not much.

He was a practical dwarf, after all, and he had learned long ago that there was no point in wishing for a thing you couldn’t have. The exile had taught him that.

It was a bit of a surprise when one night in Laketown, Bilbo asked him if the idea of their being possibly involved really was so distasteful to him.

“What do you mean, mister Baggins?” he stammered.

“I mean that you always look so angry whenever Nori, or Bofur, or anyone, really, remarks on the fact that we appear to be _very_ good friends. I never said a thing about it before, because… well, it’s not proper to question such things, really, and I thought this quest was no place for this. But after nearly a month trapped in a dungeon, and a dragon waiting for us at the end of the road, I am reconsidering my priorities about friendship and more-than-friendship. It has occurred to me that I wouldn’t mind so much, and that I was rather hoping you wouldn’t either.”

Dori took a moment to process all that. Bilbo was very nice, really, but sometimes he seemed to enjoy the sound of his own voice as much as Thorin did.

“Are you saying that you _like_ me, mister Baggins?”

“I believe that’s what I’m saying, yes. Would that be a problem?”

“I thought proper hobbits didn’t… dally with other races,” Dori pointed out, trying to ignore the pleasant feeling of warmth rising in him, at the idea that Bilbo could appreciate his company.

“Oh, that is entirely unheard of,” Bilbo confirmed. Then, noticing the dwarf’s crestfallen expression, he quickly continued “Of course, I’m hardly a proper hobbit at all these days. Running away to have an adventure, fighting trolls and orcs, killing giant spiders and helping prisoners of the elves escape! I ought to be ashamed of myself. Only, I’m not. I’m proud of what I’ve done.”

“As you ought to be. You have been most wonderful.”

“Thank you. Anyway, I’ve figured, since I am now a living scandal anyway, what’s a little more? And, well. I _do_ like you a terrible lot. You have been the only civilized person I’ve encountered on this journey.”

“By which you mean I know how to prepare tea,” Dori teased, no longer able to refrain a smile.

“Yes, _of course_. What other criteria are there? But I can’t help to notice that while I’ve just made it clear that I felt great affection for you, you haven’t answered in any way yet.”

“Indeed, I haven’t,” Dori admitted. “Please, do forgive me for my forgetfulness. Mister Baggins, I enjoy your company greatly now that we are friends, and I am sure I would enjoy it even more should we push it beyond mere friendship, if you would have me.”

“I certainly would!” Bilbo claimed with a firm little nod. “Well. That’s done, then. Do you suppose I could kiss you now?”

In lieu of answer, Dori took a step closer and joined their lips. There was a fair deal of awkwardness involved, the dwarf feeling disturbed by the smooth cheeks under his fingers, while Bilbo did not seem to know where to put his own hands for fear of messing Dori’s carefully braided beard and hair, until he finally put them on the dwarf’s hips.

“Well, that was rather nice,” the hobbit decided afterward. “I certainly do not regret giving up on propriety for this.”

“Glad that you would feel that way. The feeling is mutual, of course.”

“Excellent. Now, shall I kiss you again, master Dori, or should I try to drag you to my bedroom. It’s a very serious question, I can’t quite seem to decide.”

“Then I suggest we do both, mister Baggins.”

“Both it is, then.”


	46. Ori/Thorin everyone flirst with Ori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fili arbitrairily decides that ori should be his betrothed, because if you like someone you should get married. kili wants ori too, cos his brother wants him. how to tell your nephews to keep your hands off your fiance? (orinshield, and again, how awkward can you make this?)

“What do you mean you want to marry me?” Ori gasped, his cheeks turning red.

“It means that I want you do be my husband,” Fili explained with a bright smile, as if he felt very proud of himself for getting to be the clever one. “That is the usual meaning of marriage. You would come to live in my house…”

“Aren’t you living with your mother though?”

“You’ll come to live in the house I’ll build for you, and I’ll work hard at the forge so that I earn a lot of money so that you can do whatever it is you enjoy doing in your free time. What do you think of that?”

Ori thought many, many things about it. None of which he could say aloud without being rude.

“Why would you want to marry me, though? You’ve never shown any sign that you were interested in me, so…”

“Well, you’re pretty,” Fili announced.

Ori waited a moment, but nothing more came.

“Yes, sure. And… what else?”

“What else is there?” Fili asked, sounding sincerely curious, as if the idea that you might marry people for reasons beside a tolerably attractive face.

Ori wasn’t _pretty_ , thank you very much.

“Usually, when you marry someone, it’s because you love them,” he explained, “and when you love them, you can tell why. Let’s imagine for a moment that I was in love with your uncle…”

Fili sniggered at that idea, but the younger dwarf ignored him.

“…I could say he’s handsome, certainly, but also that he’s noble, stubborn, caring, strong, that he’s a great smith, and that his lack of sense of orientation is adorable, and…”

“Oh, I see what you mean!” Fili exclaimed. “Well. Well, you are… You do… You’ve got… you are really, really pretty, and I bet I could make you scream in bed. How about that?”

The scribe resisted the urge to facepalm, but only barely.

“Are you saying you want to marry me just because you want to shag me?”

“Yeah? Ma’s always told me you shouldn’t have sex before mariage. You are hot. Seriously hot. So I’ve got to marry you. Easy, isn’t it?”

Ori blushed, in anger as much as in embarrassment, and rolled his eyes.

“I don’t think that’s what your mother meant. At all. If I were you, I’d go ask her for clarifications, I really would. And anyway, I can’t marry you at all. I… I already love someone. Someone brave and noble and who’s aware that I’m more than a nice face. And I can’t tell you who, because it’s a secret, but… I’m sorry, I’ll never marry you.”

“But I’m a prince! I don’t know who you love, but they can’t be better than _royalty_ , can they?”

“Yes, he _can_ ,” Ori retorted with a cold little smile, before walking away, leaving Fili to face his despair and heartbreak on his own.

* * *

 

Two days later, Ori decided to go to the forge where the Durins worked to make a few sketches. He often did it when the princes were there with their uncle. Usually, Thorin ignored him entirely, while the princes greeted him quickly, requested he did their portrait, then went back to work and didn’t think about him again.

This time though, Fili threw him a pleading look (which he ignored) while Kili walked straight to him and kissed him soundly on the mouth (which was a little more difficult to ignore).

Both Fili and Thorin gasped in surprise, and it took Ori a few seconds to realize what was happening and punch Kili.

“What was _that_ for?” the young scribe all but yelled, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

“Well, now that I know you love me, it only seemed fitting,” Kili explained, smiling as he rubbed his cheek. “Fili told me ‘bout it.”

“He did?” Ori asked, glaring at the blonde prince.

“I did?” Fili mumbled, just as surprised.

“Well, yes!” Kili answers cheerfully. “You said he was in love with someone brave and noble, who clearly wasn’t you since he rejected you, and who was as good as royalty. It’s got to be me, doesn’t it?”

Ori pinched the bridge of his nose. Durins. This was why Dori had warned him against them. “I am not in love with you, Kili.”

“Of course you do,” the prince insisted, grabbing his hand and pulling him closer. “Now, to be fair, you’re not really my type at all. I like them tall and dark haired, usually. But since you love me, and since Fili thought you’d be good enough for him, I guess you’d be good enough for me too, wouldn’t you?”

“I am going to punch you again.”

“See? You pretty sweet and…”

Ori punched him again, harder this time. Hard enough to make Kili’s nose bleed.

“What was that for?” the young prince whined. “I thought you loved me? We’re going to have to set some rules Ori, because pain play really isn’t my thing, sorry!”

“I don’t love you!” Ori snarled. “How could you ever think… You don’t even love me! And even if you did, you’d be the last person in the world I could ever love back!”

“But Fili said you’d said…”

“The one I love is someone who loves me back,” Ori announced, glaring at Kili. “Or at least, so he says, even though he still hides me from his family which is getting rather tiring and a bit of a problem. Don’t you agree?”

Kili seemed to hesitate. “I wouldn’t hide you if we were to get married?” he said. “I mean, Ma would probably be happy if I got involved with you. She says you’re more clever than me, Fili and uncle put together.”

Somewhere being them, Thorin grunted angrily, but he was ignored by everyone.

“You wouldn’t hide me, hm?” Ori chirped. “Well, if things don’t work out with my current partner, I’ll think about it then. Someone who _is willing to tell his family that we are involved_ would be a great improvement over what I have at the moment.”

The princes exchanged a look then, and Thorin started hammering again.

“Maybe your lover has a good reason to act the way he does,” the king grumbled. “It seems rather unfair to want to break up with him over such a thing.”

His nephews jumped at that, surprised to hear him give his opinion on such a subject. It was common knowledge that Thorin had nothing but contempt for the matters of the heart and those of the flesh.

Ori smiled cheerfully.

“I do not know, my king. Don’t I deserve a dwarf that doesn’t treat me like a dirty secret?”

Thorin flinched. “I am quite sure that’s not what it is, master Ori.”

“Really? Then _what_ is it?”

The hammer was dropped much harder than necessary, and Thorin glared at the young scribe, while Fili chuckled uncomfortably.

“Really, Ori, how could uncle tell you that? He’s as bad at romance as… as…”

“As an orc!” Kili supplied. “Sorry, uncle, but it’s a fact. If you want advice, Ori, you should ask me. I’m more than willing to… help you.”

“And so am I!” Fili claimed. “I’ve talked to mother, you know. She still says you should only have sex after marriage, but Dwalin was there and after he said that actually, between men, it wasn’t such a big deal if we did not wait.”

Ori kept smiling, but he was now looking at Thorin rather than his nephews. “What wonderful news!” he claimed loudly. “Well, if my partner remains such an ass, I will be sure to consider both your offers. Now, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go. I have things to do.”

The princes looked at him go, and for a few minutes tried to figure out what the matter was with Ori. After a while their uncle got tired of their chatter, and yelled at them until they got back to work, and he seemed in such a bad mood that they dared not resist.

* * *

 

“You are not really thinking of leaving me, are you?”

Ori chuckled, and nipped at Thorin’s neck. “Not really, no, though sometimes I think that’s all you deserve.”

The king instantly relaxed, and started unbuttoning his young lover’s tunic. “You are not a dirty secret, I hope you know that. I would tell them all, were I free to do it, but…”

“I know.”

“Until I have reclaimed what’s mine, I can’t…”

“I. Know,” Ori cut him with a firm kiss. “And I don’t mind. Not unless people are hitting on my because I look like I’m not spoken for.”

“So what you are saying, is that you do mind,” Thorin translated while helping the younger dwarf out of his tunic. “After all, someone as handsome as you must attract attention all the time. We need to do something about it. Maybe I should give you a bead after all…”

“Or just make sure to leave a mark or two this time?” his lover suggested with a shy grin. “That should get the message across, don’t you think?”

“Marks fade away,” Thorin noted, biting tenderly the point where Ori’s neck met his shoulder, making him moan softly.

“What a shame,” the young one breathed. “I supposed that means you’ll have to do it regularly then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Orinshield so much I just felt like pointing it out. These two are fluffy idiots and I love them.


	47. Ri brothers - braiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: ori wants to learn how to braid. dori loves his precious little baby, but this is his precious hair at stake. he volunteers nori, who *graciously* accepts. "nori, i said *graciously*!"

Nori looked at his older brother as he carefully redid their younger brother’s braids. Ori didn’t seem particularly happy with his situation, and he was grumbling a fair deal about Dori who pulled too much on his hair and put ribbons on his braids, making him look like a baby.

“Why don’t you do it on your own then?” Nori suggested. “Since Dori clearly has decided to make you look like a diseased hedgehog, you’d be better off on your own, wouldn’t you?”

“It would, if he knew how to do it,” Dori replied dryly. “And I’m doing the best I can, it’s not my fault if the lad has dreadful hair. Sorry, Ori, I don’t mean to hurt you, but your hair really is… _difficult_.”

“What do you mean he can’t do it? What sort of dwarf can’t _braid_?”

Ori blushed, and seemed to shrink in his cardigan, while Dori glared at their brother.

“I mean that he’s never learnt. His own hair is too… complicated for a novice, mine is far too fragile, and mother… well. _Mother_.”

Nori nodded. That did make sense, of course. Their mother sometimes sold her hair, which was particularly beautiful (Nori had inherited his from her) to a wig-maker, to bring a little more money in. She couldn’t afford to do anything with it that might damage it.

“Well, kid, that sucks for you.”

Ori had almost entirely disappeared inside his clothes, and Nori couldn’t help but be reminded of a tortoise. A very cute tortoise. Who could not braid his own hair, something a dwarfling of forty would have known how to do.

Nori felt almost tempted to go and tell the princes. Kili in particular would be glad to know that he wasn’t the only incompetent one.

“Nori, you hair is neither fragile nor valuable, is it?” Dori suddenly asked, eyeing his brother’s extravagant peaks.

“What?”

“And it is likely that we will stay here a couple days, or so Beorn seemed to imply last night. This is the perfect occasion.”

“What?”

“Come here, Nori. Ori will learn on you.”

“No he won’t!” the thief exclaimed. “This is my hair, which happens to be mine, and no one touches my hair. Can’t you go ask… Bofur or something? I’m sure he’ll be more than glad to lend his hair if that can please you.”

Dori’s cheek turned pink, but he did not deign answer his brother’s protests. Instead, he grabbed Nori’s arm and forced him to sit next to Ori.

“Untie your hair, Nori.”

“No.”

“Untie it or I’ll do it, and you won’t like it.”

“No. It’s my hair. You can’t _force_ me.”

“I can, and I will. You are acting childish, Nori. Untie you hair. Now.”

Nori almost protested that he wasn’t anymore childish than his brother, and that he had a right to it anyway, but he stopped when he felt Ori’s hand on his.

“Please, No?” the younger dwarf begged, his voice barely a whisper. “It’d be nice… And I’m tired of not knowing, it’s like I’m still a baby…”

Nori sighed. His brother looked so _miserable_. And Nori knew now that it didn’t mean he really was. Ori had become quite good at looking helpless to get what he wanted from people, and it was all Nori’s own fault, since he’d been the one to tell him these big brown eyes of his were his best weapon.

“I hate you both,” Nori stated. “For the record. And Ori, kid, I swear you’ll owe me for this, are we clear?”

“Very clear!” Ori answered, planting a kiss on his brother’s cheek. “Thank you so much, No!”

Nori rolled his eyes.

His little brother would be the death of him some day.

But he didn’t really mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I ship Ori/Nori a little)  
> (more than a little)  
> (but then again what don't I ship)


	48. Ori/Kili Ori is Rapunzel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: ori is rapunzel trapped in a towel which is also a library, and kili wants to 'save him'. however, ori doesn't want to leave his books

There was a pattern to it, and it had not taken long for Kili to figure it out. Everyday, that old dwarf with silver hair came, shouted “let down your scarf, Ori”. A long, very long woolen scarf would be thrown out of the window, and the silver haired dwarf would climb up, spend an hour or two up there, then go away and not be back until the following morning.

It meant Kili had plenty of time ahead of him to get up there and save the wonderfully gorgeous young dwarf that was trapped up there.

The first part of his plan worked perfectly well. Just like the old dwarf did, he yelled “let down your scarf, Ori” and was able to climb up the tower and get in through the window.

The young dwarf inside seemed rather suprised to see him, but not particularly scared nor angry. Had Kili been in any state to think, he’d have thought it a good sign, but he was too amazed by how stunningly handsome the other one was, with his big nose and his strawberry blond little beard and his nice brown eyes.

“Can I help you?” the gonger dwarf asked politely.

“Yes. I’ve come to save you!” Kili proudly announced.

“Save me?”

“Yes. Aren’t you prisonner of that horrible old dwarf who comes here every day?”

The other dwarf took a moment to think about it. “I suppose I am. I don’t know if I require saving, though? It’s not so bad here.”

Kili threw him a shocked look.

“But… But there’s the whole world out there, don’t you want to see it? I can show you the world!”

The small prisoner shrugged, and pointed at a bookshelf behind him.

“I see it well enough from here. It’s _dangerous_ out there. There’s thieves and orcs and kings and all sort of bad people. And all my books are here, anyway, so I can’t go, can I?”

“But… but the world!”

“But books. And I don’t even know you, anyway.”

“Oh, right. I’m Kili, at your service.”

“Ori, at yours. Do you want tea? I’ve got some very good ones, and I think I still have some of those nices cookies…”

Kili hesitated. That wasn’t the plan at all. The plan had been to climb, free the lad (Ori. Nice name), go home with him, see if they got along, start courting him, marry him, and then live happily ever after. Tea had never been part of the plan.

But cookies were always nice, he had to admit that.

“Tea, and then we go for a walk outside,” he suggested. “I’ll take you back home before night, I swear.”

“I’ve got drawings to finish today,” Ori protested. “You can stay while I do that, and we’ll talk a bit. And if you still want it, you can always come back tomorrow morning to have that walk, how does it sound?”

“That’s a deal,” Kili agreed with a smile.


	49. Ori/Thorin you did it on purpose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Orinshield, something awkward and the sentence "you did that on purpose."

Ori tripped, of course, and his bottle of ink spilled all over him (Dori would kill him, that was his nicest tunic) and Thorin (maybe Dori wouldn’t have the time to kill him then, because the prince would do it first). Horrified by what had just happened, the young scribe turned toward Kili and Fili, who were looking far too innocent to not be guilty.

“You did that on purpose!” he sobbed. “Why did you do that, it’s not nice!”

“Ori, we would _never_!” Fili protested, looking offended. “That’s not our sort of thing, is it, Kee?”

“Not in public,” the other prince agreed. “ _Never_ in front of uncle. You tripped on your own, Ori.”

Ori frowned, feeling tears of frustration coming. His clothes were ruined, and the princes looked so calm, but he’d felt something hit his ankle, and Thorin’s entire face was red and the prince was scowling at him, and master Balin was still waiting for his ink, and it just wasn’t fair.

“You should have looked where you were going,” Kili added.

“I did! I did, it’s your fault, I know it, and…”

“Ori, are you accusing a prince of lying?” Fili gasped. “Are you really?”

Oh, he knew that tone, he’d heard it too often. It was proof of their guilt, it really was, but at the same time, Fili was right. He could not accuse them of lying, because they were princes.

Well, he could accuse them, and he did it often enough, but not when there were other people around them.

Especially not in front of Thorin, who was fiercely protective of his nephews, as everyone knew. It wasn’t fair, it really wasn’t, and now the prince would think he was clumsy and he would hate him for ever, and it just was so unfair, because Ori liked him so much, and Thorin looked so angry, and there was only one thing he could do now.

He fell on knees before the prince, bending his head and hoping he wouldn’t start crying.

“I apologize, my prince, f-for the damage to your c-coat,” he mumbled. “I will repay it, one way or another, though it might take me a while. I am not rich, and…”

“Are you saying Balin doesn’t pay you well?”

Ori couldn’t help a whimper. He was insulting the prince’s friend now. Better and better.

“He pays me wonderfully well for the work I do!” he quickly replied. “And no scribe could ask for more. But I… I think it will take me some time to repay your coat, and I am ever so sorry for that, please do not be too angry, please, I will be more careful next time!”

Thorin nodded, glaring at Ori’s own stained tunic.

“You’ll have to undress,” the prince grunted.

Ori felt himself blush, and heard the young princes sniggering behind him. This was. Not at all the way he’d had dreamed he’d heard these words from Thorin. He’d have thought the older dwarf wasn’t the sort to take advantage of a poor lad in such a way, and while it was humiliating, _yes_ , he mostly felt _betrayed_ by that dwarf whom he admired so much.

“I meant that you need to remove that tunic so we may try to wash it,” Thorin corrected himself, his cheeks just as pink as Ori’s. “It should be easy enough, all we need is some milk and white vinegar, both of which we have here.”

Ori instantly relaxed, and even managed to smile.

“That would be… but I wouldn’t want to impose, and…”

“As repayment for my coat, I demand that you let me try to save the tunic that was damaged _because of my nephews’ prank_ ,” Thorin cut him. “Certainly, you would not refuse me that?”

The young scribe’s blush spread on his entire face, making him feel uncomfortably hot. Not in an unpleasant way, though. Thorin wanted to help him. Thorin believed him, believed he wasn’t clumsy, and knew that his nephews were at fault, and he was accusing them to defend Ori.

He could have died from sheer happiness.

“I would never refuse you anything, your highness!” he cheerfully answered. “You are very kind to me, and I thank you for it!”

“Then let us go, master Ori. And you, boys, go get a new bottle of ink for Balin. We’ll talk about this later.”

The two lads grunted and protested, but a look from their uncle silenced them. Ori promised himself that he would still try to convince Thorin that they should not be punished too harshly. They were still his friends after all, and they had probably not meant any harm.

He might have felt a good deal less benevolent if he had noticed Fili signing to his uncle _-Your chance. Don’t waste. Go get him.-_

 _-You pay for this-_ Thorin signed back, while slipping his free hand around Ori’s shoulder. _-I tell your mother-_

_-You tell mother, I tell mother.-_

Thorin glared at him one last time, but he didn’t answer and dragged Ori away to help him with his ruined clothes.


	50. Ori/Kili dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: someone cursed Kili and he seems to be asleep forever, Ori finds out that the only way to save him is to go search him in his dreams

It had been two weeks, three days, and five hours since Kili had last opened his eyes, and he was getting worryingly thin. His brother and mother still managed to feed him broth, but it would not last.

They did not know what was happening.

But they all knew Kili was dying, and it broke Ori’s heart.

They had been on their way to maybe start considering a romance, the two of them. It had been nothing more than a few shy hints here and there, but Ori had felt sure it would lead to something. Only that would never happen now, because Kili wasn’t going to live much longer.

That idea haunted Ori day and night, until the only thing he could think of was that dying prince whom he did not even dare to visit. As long as the sun was up, the young scribe managed to force himself to work until he might pass out from exhaustion. But sleep…sleep was bad, sleep was _awful_. Night after night, Ori dreamed of a great battle somewhere far away, at the feet of a mountain he had never seen, he dreamt of fighting there and seeing Kili fall, an orc spear in his chest. Night after night, Ori ran to him. Night after night, he was too late and Kili was already dead before he could reach him.

Not that night. That night, he would save Kili. That night, he was aware of the dream while he was still in it, and he would not let his prince die again. It would be easy. The dream was always the same, second after second, night after night, nothing ever changed. Ori knew the battle by heart. It would be easy.

He started running toward the prince, avoiding orcs and dwarves and elves and men, running until he was breathless, running until he reach Kili, running until he stood between his prince and the great white orc that had killed him seventeen nights in a row.

There would be no eighteenth. Ori would make sure of it.

He lifted his war-hammer (the one he always knew how to use in that dream, even though he’d never touched one in his life) and struck the orc with all his strength. The creature shattered in a thousand shards, as if it had been made of glass. Ori dropped his weapon and turned toward Kili (safe, unharmed, alive, looking so surprised but _alive_ , so wonderfully alive) and he kissed the prince.

It was his dream after all. He was allowed to do what he wanted. Kili seemed surprised by it, but he didn’t protest, even seemed happy of it (and why shouldn’t he? It would have been pretty sad if Ori had been rejected in his own dream, wouldn’t it?)

He woke up soon after that.

He wished he hadn’t.

Having saved his prince in a dream made it all the more harder to be so powerless in reality.

So he went about his tasks as usual, mindlessly, writing letters and copying contracts, trying to forget himself, trying to forget Kili. Until not long before lunch, the lady Dis came to fetch him, claiming that Kili was asking for him.

“He’s awake?”

“And asking for you. Repeatidly.”

Ori couldn’t help a blush, and from the way she looked at him, it was clear that Dis suspected there was something between him and her son. Why else would Kili have insisted so much, after all? Ori wisely decided that it would be better to remain silent, and he followed the princess.

Kili looked weak, weaker than the last time Ori had dared to come and see him, but the young prince’s face lit up with a bright smile as soon as he saw the scribe.

“I dreamed of you!” Kili immediately announced, making Ori blush and Dis roll her eyes.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” the princess decided. “Please, do not do anything stupid, and remember that Kili has just been sick for two weeks, hm?”

Ori nodded, and went to sit on the edge of Kili’s bed, not daring to look at him.

“I dreamed of you,” the prince repeated. “There was a great battle, and you saved me, and then you kissed me.”

“Did I?”

“Yes. I’ve had this dream all the time I was asleep, you know. Sometimes you weren’t there at all, or sometimes you were but too far away, or I’d get killed before you’d reach me. But not this time. This time you saved me, and you kissed me, and I woke up. Thank you.”

Ori was sure he had never blushed more in his life. It was impossibly strange, and entirely improbable, but he felt sure that Kili and him had shared the same dreams. He couldn’t explain how such a thing had happened, no more than he anyone had managed to explain the prince’s sickness. But it had happened.

“Hey, Ori?” Kili said, putting on of his (thin, so _thin_ ) hands on the scribe’s. “D’you think you could kiss me for real too?”

“ _What_?”

“Well, you’ve done it in my dream, and it was nice, so I’d like to have the real deal now. C’mon, we both knew we’ve been wanting it for a while, might as well do it now, right?”

“You’ve just almost died, and your mom said not to do anything stupid!”

Kili laughed, and the sound of it felt like a ray of sunshine.

“I’m just asking for a kiss, Ori! I know the rest will have to wait… though I’m glad to know you’re considering it,” he added with a wink.

“That’s not what I meant!”

“A kiss! In case I fall asleep and don’t wake up again, a kiss? Just one, that’s all I’m asking.”

The idea of Kili asleep again made Ori’s heart clench. The prince had said that in a teasing tone, but the threat felt all too real. It might be his only chance. Kili’s sickness might take him again, for good this time.

So he bent down, and kiss the prince.

It felt just as nice as it had in their dream, though a bit more awkward maybe, and the position wasn’t too comfortable.

But Kili’s lips were warm, a bit parched maybe, and the beard he usually kept short had grown in his sleep.

It was anything but perfect.

It still _felt_ perfect.

Kili was alive, and if sleep took him away again, Ori would just rescue him again from his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am greatly dissatisfied with this but I can't figure out why and there's still bits I like  
> so  
> there.


	51. Nori/Fili/Dwalin more coffeeshop AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: more Barista stuff. With Nori.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a continuation of sorts of chapter 40 ;)

Nori wasn’t a good man.

He wasn’t a bad one either. He just had a job, and he did it. And if that job sometimes involved breaking a few laws, then it was the fault of the people who payed him, not his.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He was, sometimes, a bad man. If you talked to him before his first coffee of the day. Which was why he was glad that his little brother worked in a coffee shop. Ori wouldn’t give it to him for free (‘you can afford to pay for it, you cheap bum!’) but there was a certainty of _quality_ that was appreciable, and he _did_ get the pastries for nothing.

And there was that other barrista with a cute smile and a nice ass.

Fili, he was called, and he flirted shamelessly with Nori every time he came (and he came often enough indeed, because he wasn’t a man to refuse good coffee, free cakes and a cute lad).

He felt almost betrayed when he came that morning to discover Fili flirting with another man. Almost.

The man in question was far too good looking to really be jealous. Tall and huge, covered in tattoos, even on his shaved head, and looking like he could kill with his bare hands? He’d have flirted too.

Actually, he _was_ going to flirt.

“Hey kid, how you doing?” he grinned, leaning on the counter. “Making friends?”

“Hey Nori,” Fili replied, turning to prepare his usual order. “Yeah, I’ve tried you idea, and it worked. Meet Dwalin, who’s on trial period as my boyfriend.”

Nori smirked at the tall man, who only grunted a brief hello.

“And does that work, being on trial?” Nori asked.

“Just like any relationship,” Fili explained, putting a cup of coffee on the counter (black and no sugar). “Only, we’re more honest about the fact that there’s a huge uncertainty in the beginning.”

“And here I thought it meant you were trying all sorts of things to figure out how to make it workd between you two. I was about to say that if you wanted to try a threesome I was volunteering, but I guess that’s not on, eh?”

Dwalin tensed and glared at him, but Fili sniggered.

“Sorry to break your heart man, but that’s not going to happen, no. Not right now anyway. Maybe in three years when the passion’s gone and we try to spice things up.”

Nori grabbed his coffee and sipped at it, giving Dwalin a look-over. The tall man didn’t seem to like that too much, though Nori felt sure that he was blushing out of embarrassment more than anger. He knew the type. All tough and impressive on the outside, but probably nothing but a huge fluffy teddy-bear on this inside, and just waiting for someone to bend them over and have their way with them.

Fili was lucky, and from the look of him, he knew it.

“Three years, hm? Kid, that might be worth the wait.”

Fili laughed again, and Nori winked at Dwalin before going to sit with his coffee.

Three years, really.

He could make that three months.


	52. Ori/Thorin role reversal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Orinshield, Ori is a King, Thorin is the librarian (same personalities). cue funnies with Thorin telling his nephews they can't *prank the King*, Ori is trying to flirt with Thorin (Nori gives BAD advice, Dori gives OUTDATED advice), Dwalin is laughing his ass off (and Dis too maybe)?   
> (filled it a little differently)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can’t fit an explanation in there, so: Dori and Nori are born of their mother’s first mariage, Ori was born of her second mariage with the old King, hence the fact that he’s the king now even though he’s the youngest.

“You boys are idiots,” Thorin growled, “and you’re lucky to be my nephews or you would be in great trouble. What have I told you about pranking people in my library?”

“To… not… do it?” Fili suggested after exchanging a quick look with his brother. “But it’s not what you…”

“That lad is of noble blood, too!” their uncle continued. “Haven’t you noticed his clothes, the way he walks, the way he talks? He could get you in terrible troubles if he chosed to!”

The boys exchanged another look. They liked their uncle, they really did, but he was really clueless sometimes. He had to be the only one to not have noticed who really was the young dwarf who always found new excuses to visit the library and to ask Thorin questions.

He was the only one not to know, and they had all agreed to not tell him and wait how long he’d need to understand.

“He wouldn’t do anything, uncle,” Kili laughed. “Not with the crush he has on you.”

Fili glared at him. They were supposed to tell him _that_ either. Though he forgave Kili, if only for the adorable way their uncle blushed and sputtered that they were entirely ridiculous.

“And even if he did, which certainly isn’t the case, that doesn’t mean you can prank the poor boy. He seems shy enough as it is, no need for you to make it worse. I want you to apologize to him next time he comes, are we clear?”

The boys nodded.

Step 4521586 of plan “let’s hook up uncle Thorin with the King” had failed. As had all the others before it.

* * *

 

Dori dropped a dozen large, dusty smelling books in front of Ori, looking terribly proud of himself. Well, he could be, his young brother thought. These books sure looked heavy, it couldn’t have been easy to carry them all that way.

“I’ve brought you some light reading,” Dori announced.

“This looks like many things, but not light, not in any sense of the word. What are they?”

“Courting guidelines.”

Ori groaned. Not that again.

“You’re the king, my boy!” Dori reminded him, taking one of the books and opening it at random. “You cannot keep going to that library and hope that this dwarf will miraculously notice you. It’s not proper. You should go to him, and state your intent to court him, as would be more fitting to your position.”

“What if he doesn’t like me?”

“You are the king, how could he not like you?”

“Lots of people don’t like me but they pretend they do because I’m the king. What if he did the same and he hated me but pretended not to just because I’m powerful and you can’t say no to me?”

Dori rolled his eyes as if the idea were ridiculous. Only, it wasn’t. Ori had learned long ago that people were ready to take advantage of him if he gave them the chance, and that his position was very easy to abuse. There had been a girl he’d liked when he was a child, and for three years she had not dared to admit that she didn’t like him back at all. That had taught him caution, and he’d decided to concentrate on his duties. Kept him busy enough, and he didn’t need anything else, he really didn’t.

Or more exactly, he hadn’t, not until a visit to the library had allowed him to meet master Thorin.

Master Thorin who was stern and strict yes, but oh-so-handsome and very kind when he wanted to (and he _always_ wanted to with Ori) and he had a queer sense of humour and he was so clever and knew so many things, and…

And he didn’t know that Ori was the King. A fact that Ori didn’t felt ready to change just yet.

The closest Thorin had ever come to noticing was him pointing out that he had ‘the same name as the king’, and Ori had quickly taken care of that by pointing out that the name had become a popular one after the birth of the crown prince.

He knew he’d have to tell him eventually, if things worked out. But things weren’t working out so far, because Ori was stupidly shy in private and Thorin was… probably interested, but not making any move. Ori suspected him to be just as shy as he was. An idea that shouldn’t have been adorable, but still was. Thorin was so tall and looked so fierce, he would certainly have made a great warrior, so imagining him embarrassed about anything was… cute.

“Really, Ori, how long are you going to keep mooning over that librarian?” Dori sighed. “There are so many ways to make you interest known! Look, here!” he said, showing him a book called ‘the noble art of romance’. “You could go and compliment him on his craft, before giving him a small but meaningful present that would help him for his work.”

“Dori, this isn’t the 25th century! I would look stupid if I did that!”

“That’s how your father courted mother, you know.”

“Well, that does sort of prove my point about it being old fashioned, doesn’t it?”

“Whereas going there every other day to ask for rare books is _such_ a great tactic,” Dori sniffed with disdain. “But you don’t like that, you could go and see his family, ask them permission to formally court him? Now that seems like a perfect way to do this, they will certainly know if he likes you, and you will know straight away if they agree with such an alliance.”

Ori thought of Thorin’s nephew, who kept teasing him about his crush and tried to push him in their uncle’s arms, and of Thorin’s sister, who encouraged her sons antics.

He didn’t _want_ to ask them about a formal courting.

“Maybe I should ask Nori?”

Dori glared at him. “Nori? Why would you ask Nori? He’s a shameless flirt who’s slept with half of Erebor! Why take advice from him?”

 _Because_ he was a shameless flirt who had slept with _more_ than half the kingdom.

Ori would have thought the answer was obvious.

* * *

 

“Grab him and kiss him, then fuck him behind a bookshelf.”

Ori blushed and stuttered at that.

Maybe Dori had been right, and he shouldn’t have asked Nori. Or at least, he should have expected the sort of answers he’d get.

“I’m a king, I can’t do that.”

“Well, too bad for you. It’s always worked for me. And I bet your librarian would like it. Seems like the kinky sort to me, but then again, it comes with the job. You can’t work with so many books and not be hiding a dirty side.”

“If you get anywhere near him, I’ll have you thrown in a dungeon,” Ori snapped. “I mean it. You will not ruin this!”

“Not like there’s much to ruin, is there?”

“Nori! I’m… I know you don’t give a damn that I’m your king, but I am your little brother so please, please, I’m begging you, don’t go and seduce the dwarf I like, please, if you like me just a little tiny bit, please?”

Nori gave him a pitiful look, his come-on-I-was-joking-please-tell-me-you-haven’t-spend-so-much-time-with-Dori-that-you-don’t-know-what-jokes-are-anymore look. Ori didn’t like that look. It usually meant that more teasing was coming, because Nori seemed to believe that king had to be teased a lot or they might take themselves too seriously.

It had made family gatherings so interesting when Ori’s father still lived.

This time though, Nori seemed in a better mood than usual, and his wolfish smirk turned into a much kinder smile than what Ori was used to.

“I won’t touch him, kid,” he promised. “But he’s handsome, so others might. You really should act, or someone else will catch him before you.”

“I know, I just… don’t know how!”

“Suggest a training session with him? He’s a good swordman, he trained for that when he was younger. He’ll appreciate the chance to go back to it, he hasn’t touched a sword in years.”

“I’m awful at fencing.”

“And he must be too, after fifty years. Come one, go and say you’d like to see his sword, I’m sure he’ll like it.”

Ori nodded. The idea seemed good enough.

* * *

 

He should have thought that Nori’s formulation had left a lot to be desired. “ _Show me your sword_ ” was not as innocent a sentence as Ori would have thought it to be. At least, it made master Thorin blush terribly and grumble about propriety and say that it wasn’t that he didn’t like the idea, just that he preferred to take these things a little slower, really, make sure they really got along together before they jumped to that.

Ori too had turned red when he had realized what he had just offered.

But more importantly he realized that Thorin was refusing the rushed side of that offer, not the offer itself.

Ori had _known_ that asking Nori for help would be a good idea.

“M-May I then s-suggest we try to train together someday? Y-you know, fencing and the such. Actual fencing, I mean, not the… not the other kind! I… I’ve g-got a private training ground and it’d be nice and…”

“I’d be delighted,” Thorin assured him, taking one of his hands and smiling kindly. “Fencing with you would be… delightful.”

Ori smiled back.

That was step one accomplished, then. He had a date with Thorin.

Step two would be ‘by the way we’ve known each other for five years and I just realize that I’ve never mentioned I was the king of Erebor, silly me’, but that would wait of course.


	53. Ori/Kili sword training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fic prompt: "Why are you flinching?" "I-- I'm scared I'll hurt you." "Are you insulting me? I'm a skilled swordsdwarf, I'm not gonna let you hurt me." Kili decides to give Ori sword lessons. Ori is nervous, because he's got Dori-level strength

Ori lifted the sword, raised it, ready to strike… and it escaped his fingers, dropping on the ground. Again.

Kili sighed.

“You’ve got to hold it a bit tighter than that, you know.”

Ori nodded, but when Kili gave him back the sword, his grip on it was still far too loose.

“What’s the matter with you?” Kili grumbled. “I’ve seen you fight with a hammer four time as heavy as that, but you can’t manage a stupid _sword_? It’s like you’re not even trying!”

Ori tightened his fingers a bit (but still not nearly enough) and grumbled something, avoiding the other’s eyes.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing…”

Kili sighed angrily.

This wasn’t at all how he had planned this. This should have been a nice moment to spend with Ori, a chance to teach his lover a useful skill as well as getting an occasion to touch him even though the rest of the company was with them (he had to correct Ori’s position, that just couldn’t be helped, could it? Even _Dori_ couldn’t say anything against _that_ ). And Ori had agreed easily enough, but now he was doing everything wrong, and it was getting rather annoying.

“Look, if you don’t want me to teach you…”

“I do!” Ori protested, his hand clenching on the sword. “It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“What if I hurt you?”

Kili stared blankly at the small dwarf.

Before he burst out laughing, so hard that he could barely breathe. The rest of the company looked at them, trying to figure out the cause of his hilarity, and he could see Ori’s face turn red, but it still took him a moment to calm down.

“Ori, you’ve never touched a sword in your life,” he managed to gasp, wiping tears from his eyes. “You couldn’t hurt me even if you _tried_.”

“I’m stronger than you!” the scribe protested, his pride wounded.

“Yes, and I am _far_ more _skilled_ than you. I’ve been doing this my whole life, and I’ve trained with Dwalin, who is pretty much as strong as you, and who _was_ trying to hit me hard. So I appreciate your concern, but if you think you’ve got a chance to so much as touch me with that sword, think again.”

Ori seemed to hesitate between being angry at being mocked, and relieved that he wouldn’t do any harm to his lover.

In the end, relief won, and he raised his sword again, letting Kili correct his posture before he tried to strike again.


	54. Ori&Kili&Fili unrequited love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> unrequited orilik? maybe as an AU, with kili being the cool kid at school but secretly pinning for that clever boy ori and knowing he's not smart enough to ever impress him. maybe with a side order of fili/ori? (or anyone you like / ori of course)

“Kili, what on Earth are you reading?”

Kili yelped, and hid the book behind his back, much to his brother’s amusement.

“I’m not reading anything!”

“Then what are you doing with a book if you’re not read it?”

“I don’t have a book!”

Fili threw his brother a suspicious look. This didn’t sound good. This sounded like Kili with a crush, and few good things ever came from Kili having a crush. They were still dealing with the residual embarrassment of the day where Kili had smooched their uncle’s boyfriend-now-turned-husband. The problem with Kili was that he had very, _very_ good tastes in dating material, but he always went for people who were already taken.

“So, who’s the unlucky person this time?” Fili asked.

“I have no idea what you mean.”

Fili sighed, and snatched the book from Kili’s hands. It was titled “A practical introduction to Phonetics”.

Oh, crap.

“Kili, tell me this isn’t what I think it is.”

“It’s _not_ what you think it is!”

“Ori? You have a crush on Ori?”

“No!”

“Why _Ori_? Out of all the people in your class… all the people in your _school_ , why did it have to be _Ori_?”

“He’s so clever and handsome,” Kili mumbled, looking at his feet. “And he’s so nice, always helping me with my homeworks, and he’s so pretty when he talks about the things he loves, and I just… I like him so much, you know?”

“And you think that reading _this_ will help you?”

“Well, yeah? He loves languages and grammar and weird things like that, and I don’t really get most of it, but he loves that book a whole lot, he’s told me, so I thought I’d give it a try, but… I don’t really get it at all… But I’ll keep trying! Even if I’m not smart enough, it should still make him happy that I’m trying, right?”

Fili didn’t know what to answer. It would not make Ori very happy, no. Not because the younger boy was the ungrateful sort, or because he was one of these people who wouldn’t tolerate any beginner’s mistake on their favourite subject.

No, Ori wouldn’t be very happy, because Fili had invited him to dinner that night, to finally properly introduce him to his parents and his uncle, as his boyfriend.

It was going to be one terribly awkward night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is my one big headcanon concerning Ori that he has a thing for languages, no matter the setting.  
> Even in normal Middle-Earth settings, I think he can speak several languages (Westron of course, and Khuzdul, but also Sindarin, and maybe he understands a few words of some dialects of Black Speech)


	55. Ori/the Durins video game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori has this game called Durindate. The options are Kili, Fili and Thorin. Ori plays all the options 'till he can free the options threesome/foursome and have all the Durins for himself. Bonus: at night nori steals his game and plays with Fili.

It had taken him months to get there, because they didn’t make things easy, because the slightest mistake, the smallest offence meant he had to start all over again, but Ori didn’t regret the time spent that way.

How could he regret it when Fili and Kili were shyly undressing each other in front of him, while their uncle and him watched them, Thoring looking deliciously flustered and still worried about the wrongness of it all.

It had been so difficult to convince them, but Ori was proud to say he hadn’t used any play-through, nor any cheat codes. He’d gotten there thanks to nothing but his own will and brain, and it had been hard and long, but so worth it.

“Should we really be doing this?” Thorin asked him, a most delicious blush on his cheeks.

“You _bet_ we should, mister sexy thighs,” Ori muttered, just as he selected a far more polite answer on the screen. “I didn’t go through seventeen attempts at the ice-cream mini-game to let you change your mind now.”

“Then I trust you,” Thorin answered shyly, unbuttoning his shirt. “We _all_ do.”

Ori grinned, and enjoyed the sight of those three, strong, impossibly handsome and very _naked_ men looking at him with pleading eyes.

This game had been the _best_ present Nori had _ever_ given him.


	56. Bofur/Nori modern AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur/Nori, modern AU? With them being precious idiots and Bofur being concerned Nori will use him,

Dating Nori was a very stupid idea, and Bofur knew it.

Thank heaven, Nori and him weren’t dating, merely… offering each other companionship on a regular basis. And on every solid surface of Bofur’s flat, too.

No string attached, that had been Nori’s first rule. No dates. No romance. They just fucked. Nori had insisted on that. It wasn’t anything more than fucking, and being good pals in between. Bofur had agreed. It had felt like a win-win situation at the time.

It wasn’t Nori’s fault if he’d gotten attached.

Not that he hadn’t liked Nori before, of course. They had been friends for a long while already, close ones too. They’d gotten in trouble together, and out of trouble too, whenever they managed. They’d drunk together and been each other’s wingman and had done all sorts of stupid things together. Including fucking. Which. Had maybe been a bad idea, admittedly.

Bofur should have known better than to fall for someone like Nori. He knew Nori, for fuck’s sake, he knew what sort of man he was. Great friend, but not the sort to stick around with a lover. Bofur had never seen him with the same girl more than a week, and he was even worse with men. Nori took them and used them and then took a new one and did the same. Bofur had seen it happen often enough to know he’d be no different if he tried to get more than their little arrangement.

So he took what he was given. It wasn’t so bad. Sometimes, Nori would drag him to some shitty restaurant he’d just dicovered (and Nori’s tastes in food were dreadful, but he could be trusted to find places with spicy stuff with enough hot pepper to make you _cry_ , just the way Bofur loved it), or to see some shitty action film from the 90’s in an old theatre (Bofur sensed a pattern about their tastes there, but he didn’t care because it was bloody _fun_ ). Or they’d just stay at Bofur’s watching shitty series (there definitively was a pattern), before or after fucking (which was never, _ever_ shitty, and always amazing and god in heaven, Bofur didn’t know how Nori could be so _good_ at that, but he appreciated the talent).

It didn’t matter that he’d never have more with Nori.

It didn’t matter that he _wanted_ more with Nori.

That was good enough.

That night was no different. They were at a (shitty) bar where Nori had dragged him for a beer. A beer, and maybe he needed help to seduce someone who’d share his bed for the night. It had been a while since Bofur had played wingman for his friend, and they’d often ended in bed together lately. Not that Bofur was complaining about that, but he didn’t want Nori to get bored with him. So he asked him if he had his eyes set on anyone that night, and if he’d need a hand.

“What do you mean?” Nori has asked, frowning.

“Well, girl or boy, for one thing? Don’t know ‘bout ye, but I don’t think there’s a single pretty man in here, ye’ll have to try fer ladies tonight. That ginger one there’s pretty nice.”

Nori’s frown had deepened, but he had looked at the woman anyway.

“Too skinny. Not in the mood for that, anyway. Need to get fucked, and it’s hard to find women willing to do that in these parts.”

“Careful, ye’re gonna end up stuck with me again if you keep that up.”

For a short moment, Nori was silent. _Thoughtful_ even.

“Is that a problem for you?” he asked carefully.

“Nah, but it’s got to be one fer ye. Gotta be boring fer ye to always fuck the same person, and just old me too.”

“Well, I did say I wanted to get fucked tonight, so, you know, change in the routine. But if you don’t want to…”

“I do want to. As long as ye want it.”

“I do.”

“Good then. We both want it.”

“Wanna leave now?” Nori suggested.

“Thought ye’d never ask. Beer’s crap here.”

They left, and started walking toward Bofur’s flat, a couple streets away from there.

It was a bad idea, dating Nori.

But they were not dating, not at all. Nori wasn’t the sort, and Bofur knew better than to ask for that.


	57. Ori/Kili infidelity pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a continuation of the ficlet in chapter 56, where Kili had cheated on Ori with a random dwarf in a tavern uwu

Ori had agreed to stay home in the end, and that was a blessing. It was Kili’s chance to prove that it had been an accident, that he hadn’t meant for something like that to happen. If Ori had gone to his brothers’, Nori and Dori would probably have convinced him to just dump the prince, marriage or not. And Kili knew he would have deserved it. He had _betrayed his One_.

What sort of a dwarf cheated on their One?

The stupid sort, Kili thought sadly. The sort who thought they could manage alone for a couple weeks, only to get drunk because they were lonely.

But Ori had forgiven him. Or at least, Ori had agreed to not leave their home, and to pretend nothing had happened. In public.

In private, the pretence was gone. In private, Ori refused to look at him or talk to him, let alone touch him. It had been two months now. Two months of silence and absence and frustration, because his One was there with him, but he might as well have been back in the Iron Hills.

It was a torture, and Kili knew he deserved it, but it was getting more than he could bear.

"Why did you stay, if you hate me so much?" he asked his husband one night.

Ori looked at him in silence, and the prince thought he wouldn’t answer, because he never did these days.

"I stayed because if I had gone, people would be judging you," he eventually said. "It’s one thing that you cheated on me, and people just think it’s my fault for leaving… and that’s it, you know? If I stay, I’m an idiot and what happened is my fault. If I go, you’re the one who drove away your husband. I’d rather have the blame on me than on you."

"After all that happened? Why?"

"Because I love you," Ori whispered. " I wish I didn’t, after what you’ve done, but I love you. You _are_ my One, you know.”

Kili let out a gasp. Ori still loved him. It was a surprise, after his betrayal, and he didn’t deserve it, he knew that. But he was a selfish dwarf, and if his One still loved, then he’d take that love.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked, taking a step toward his husband.

"No."

Kili stepped back, heartbroken. Of course he couldn’t kiss Ori. The scribe had said he still loved him, but that didn’t mean…

"You can hug me though," Ori said hesitantly. "For a start. We’ll see later about… about other things, when I feel I can trust you again. But I’d really like a hug. I’ve missed those awfully."

Kili didn’t need to be told twice, and in an instant he had his husband in his arms. It felt good to be this close again, to feel Ori’s warmth, to touch him again, after so long.

"I’ll never hurt you again," the prince promised, resisting the impulse to kiss his lover’s hair. He couldn’t do that until Ori had said it was okay, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Oh, you will," Ori sighed. "And I’ll hurt you, probably. But we’ll make it work anyway, Kee. That’s what love is about."


	58. Ori/Kili infidelity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how about a really really mad ori because kili had a affair and a really sorry kili blaming alchohol and The charcater you want?

There was a trunk at the entrance of their bedroom and as soon as he saw it Kili knew that Ori knew. He had no idea how he could know, because it had been one time, and he’d made the other dwarf swear that he wouldn’t talk about it, but Ori _knew_ , and there was a trunk in their bedroom.

That didn’t look good at all.

“I’m going to my brother’s,” Ori announced, his voice quiet, but Kili still jumped in surprise. He hadn’t seen his husband a the corner of their room.

Ori looked… hurt. Betrayed. Resigned.

But not angry, and that was the worse of it, really. As if he’d known all along that Kili would do something like that.

“I can explain,” the prince started, taking a step toward his husband, only to see Ori step away. “Love, I swear, it’s not what you think, I can _explain_!”

“You don’t have to. You’re a prince. You can do whatever you want, can’t you? No one will judge you. They’ll just judge me because I couldn’t keep you, because I was stupid enough to leave you alone for so long… it’s all my fault, isn’t it?”

“Ori, no, it’s not… It’s not your fault! It’s me, I was… I was drunk, and you’d been gone for weeks, and…”

Ori nodded with a sad smile.

“I had left you alone. See? My fault. That’s what everyone says.”

“What do you mean _everyone_?”

The little dwarf shrugged, clutching at his scarf.

“Your… your friend, he… talked. A lot. And… Oh, Kili, couldn’t you at least cheat on me with someone clever enough to think of blackmailing you? Nori could have done something against that, but now… everyone knows I couldn’t keep you, everyone knows, they all _know_!”

Kili ran to him then and took him in his arms. Ori fought back for a moment, but eventually just went lip and started crying against his husband’s shoulder.

“I hate you,” he sobbed. “Why did you _do_ this? I asked if you were okay with me going, and you said you’d be fine waiting for me. I was just gone three months, how _could_ you? I loved you, I trusted you, why did you do this, _why_?”

Because I was stupid, Kili thought. Because I wasn’t as strong as I thought I’d be. Because I missed you so much, but this trip to the Iron Hills was so important to you. Because I was so drunk, and he looked a little like you, even if he wasn’t half as clever. Because I thought you’d never know.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered instead, kissing his husband’s hair. “I’m so sorry. I love you. I only love you, you know that, right?”

Ori didn’t answer, and Kili held him tighter, and started praying to Mahal to please let him have another chance.

Just another chance, and he’d never hurt his One like that again.


	59. the Ri brothers dated the same people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: the ri brothers used to date thorin, dwalin and bofur, alternatively. hellooo awkward family dinner with the ri brothers exchanging some very personal details that no one else on the table wants to hear (sober).

"Which one of these gentlemen are you dating at the moment, Ori?" Ari asked while passing the soup to her younger son. “I think I’ve forgotten again."

"I… I’m with mister Thorin, mama," the young dwarf replied with a slight blush and a smile directed at his (very uncomfortable) lover. “He’s, ah, he’s the one with blue eyes."

"Really? I thought he was with Dori, considering the oh-so-clever remarks he’s been doing all evening about his nose all evening."

Thorin blushed, Dori pretended to be fascinated by his plate, and Ori looked at his boots.

"They, er, they used to be. They… came here together last Durin’s day, actually."

"No, I think he was with me at  the time," Nori corrected. “And _Bof_ ’ was with Dori, weren’t you old cock? The two of you had sex in the pantry, remember? Because _I_ certainly do. The noise you made."

"Wasn’t with Dori then," Bofur mumbled, not daring to look up. “I remember the pantry too, though."

"Mahal, I hope you do," Ori sighed. “I certainly won’t forget it. I still can’t believe how tight you were…"

"Not while we’re eating, jewel," his mother reminded him. “Bad enough that your brothers compared everyone’s size using knives earlier, I expect _you_ at least to have some manners."

"Sorry, Mama."

"And what about you?" Ari said, turning to Dwalin who had a mildly amused grin on his face. “Who are you with?"

"I’m with Dori, ma’am."

"I don’t think I’ve had you to dinner before, have I?"

"No, ma’am. But Nori and I have a past if that’s your question, ma’am."

"Hm… and do you think you have a future with Ori, then?"

"Hope not, ma’am. I intend to keep Dori, if he’ll have me, ma’am. And with all due respect, family reunions are already awkward enough like this."

Ari smiled at him, like one might smile at a dog doing a trick.

“ _Good boy_. I think you deserve a little more soup. Enjoy good food while you can, you won’t get much if you marry my boy. And I hope you do. Time one of my sons dated someone with a brain, really."

Dwalin grinned, and ignored the way Thorin and Bofur glared at him.


	60. Ori/Dis stop shagging our friends, mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fili and kili love their mom. but she has a weakness for younger lovers that make it difficult for them to look at their friends in the eyes. specially when ori becomes their step dad.

“Oh Mahal, not you too,” Fili groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

Ori blushed. “I have no idea what you mean.”

“Come on, she’s getting ridiculous! You’re still a damn baby!”

"Hi, Ori," Kili said, coming into the kitchen, still half asleep. “What’s going on here?"

"Ma’s shagging Ori," his brother informed him.

"Oh Mahal, not you too."

"I see that we agree," the older prince grunted. “Seriously, this was bad enough when she did it with Jarn…"

"And Beri. And Torne. And Feri. And Garj. All our friends, come to think of it."

Fili shivered at the memory. There were few things more horrible than sharing breakfast with a pal who’d spent the night in the house, in your mother’s room. Though the worse of it was always the break up, because suddenly, the poor lads would come to Fili and Kili, begging for an explanation, telling them how things had been going so well, and their mother was such a wonderful lady, and why didn’t she want to see them anymore, what had they done wrong?

It was always difficult to tell a friend that they might have been very handsome, they were still dumb as fuck, and their mother wasn’t one to tolerate stupidity for long.

"Oh, this is going to be so awkward," Fili grumbled. “Come on, you’re one of our best friends!"

Next to him, Kili gasped. “Fee."

"Maybe even our actual best friend," the blond continued, ignoring him.

"Fee!"

"Really, Ori, shagging our Ma’s a bit…not cool. She’s our Ma! Aaaaand she’s going to break your heart. If you wanted to lose your virginity so badly, I could have found someone to help you."

“ _Fee_!"

"I’d even have helped you myself, if you wanted to, out of sheer friendship, and…"

"Fee, shut up and _look at his fucking hair_!"

Fili glared at his brother, and looked at Ori’s rather dishevelled hair. Looking at him, there could be no doubt about his activities of the night. All his braids were a mess, except for one that had miraculously survived. Only, it wasn’t one of the usual ones, not by far.

"Oh fuck," Fili gasped. “Oh fucking fuck."

"She asked you to _marry her_?" Kili whined. “But you’re just a baby!"

Ori turned crimson and looked at his feet, but there was the slightest hint of a happy grin on his lips.

He felt sure his future step-sons would soon get used to having a new father figure in their life.


	61. Nori/Bilbo/Kili

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> something adorable with Nori/Bilbo oooor Nori/Kili

"So, does that happen often with dwarves then?" Bilbo asked once things were quieter.

"Lots of things happened here tonight," Nori pointed out. “You’re gonna have to be more precise, pet."

"Ah. Yes. Well. For a start, do male dwarves often lie with other males?"

"I don’t know about often," Kili said, nuzzling at the hobbit’s neck like a happy cat. “But there’s nothing shocking in it. Not many girls you know, and quite a few of these think that boys are too dumb to be bothered with."

"Oh."

"Doesn’t it happen for hobbits?"

"I know it does," Nori sniggered. “In Bree at least, it does."

"Oh, everything happens in Bree," Bilbo said with a little handwave, his tone making it clear that he knew Bree was a den of sin and perdition where the worst things could occur. “I’m from Hobbiton, we are more civilized, sadly. I’ve apparently been missing out on something. And, uh… do dwarves… often… with more than one person?"

"Happens, yeah," Kili admitted. “It’s not the rule, but it’s not so surprising either, you know? I mean, just look at uncle, Dwalin and Bofur."

“ _What_?" Nori and Bilbo exclaimed at the same time.

Kili laughed. “You didn’t know? But they’re not even subtle about it! I mean, _I_ ‘ve noticed."

Bilbo rolled his eyes. Of course Kili would have noticed. He was a very observant lad.

Unless ponies were involved, because then the lad was blind.

"I can’t believe I’ve missed that," Nori grumbled. “Should have known, though, Bofur’s just the sort. You’ve got to watch for the polite, friendly type that tries to be nice to everyone, they’re the ones that get laid."

"Excuse me!" Bilbo protested, “but I am polite and friendly too you know, so you shouldn’t generalize like th…"

"Think carefully before you finish that sentence," Nori cut him, pulling the cover back on them. “Think _very_ carefully, and maybe wait until tomorrow until you decide if you really want to finish it."

"Yeah, time to have you old people sleep," Kili yawned. “Busy day tomorrow. Got plans for you guys. Mister Boggins, we haven’t even started showing you all the things dwarves do…"

Bilbo grinned. Adventures weren’t so bad in the end.


	62. Bofur/Thorin jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bofur/thorin? Do what ever you can thing or imagine, I dont want something particurlar, Just something happy and a little funny

"Ye’re an ass, my king," Bofur claimed one night at Rivendell, laughing.

Thorin grunted halfheartedly against the toy-maker’s chest. He felt far too content to mind anything. Beside, it wasn’t the first time his lover called him that, and it rarely was meant as a real insult.

"Ye can’t keep treating the hobbit like that just ‘cause I’m friendly with him. I’m allowed friends, ye know."

"Indeed, you are. I am in fact encouraging you to have friends. You might have noticed that I’ve never said anything against Nori, or Dori, or anyone else you’ve gone drinking with in Ered Luin."

"But ye’re treating Bilbo like shit."

"You’re on first name basis with him now. I see."

"Ye see nothing and ye’re an ass. Why d’ye have to be that way with the poor lad? I ain’t gonna run away with him, ya know. He’s a nice one, but he’s too smooth for me, and he’s got those weird big feet… Nah, I like hair on it’s proper place, thanks."

"I don’t doubt you," Thorin protested. “I just want him to realize that you are spoken for, and that if he keeps looking at you with these stupid big eyes of his, he’ll have to face my wrath."

"Ye’re jealous. Actually jealous. Blimey."

"I am not. Kings do not get jealous. I just want the halfling to understand he’s wasting his time."

"Thorin the possessive prince."

"I am not jealous!"

"It’s cute ye know."

"How must I tell you that I feel no jealousy whatsoever?"

"Sort of exciting even…"

"I am not… exciting, you said?"

"Hm, _yes_ ," Bofur purred. “Terribly so."

"Oh. Well. I might be slightly possessive, then."

Bofur grinned. Thorin knew that grin. It was a good grin, and it was usually followed by many good things.


	63. Ori/Kili braiding hair (again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Ori are chilling in Beorn’s garden behind a tree. While Ori leans against the tree, braiding Kili’s hair, the raven sits between his legs and reads Ori’s notes of the journey so far

“I thought you were supposed to keep a faithful tale of the quest!” Kili grumbled.

“I do,” Ori replied. “Don’t move, or I’ll have to start again.”

And wouldn’t that be something. He loved the prince, he really did, but the dwarf just didn’t know how to care for his hair. A good thing they were finally somewhere safe, with plenty of chance for privacy. After weeks of glaring at his lover’s wild mane, he was able to force Kili to sit down while he brushed his hair and braided it. At last.

“You wrote I was awful at watching over thing!”

“You and your brother lost two ponies to trolls, love.”

The scribe wondered if he would dare to put a braid that claimed Kili was his lover. It was so very tempting, but not a thing he could do without a long discussion about what sort of relation they had exactly. He didn’t _think_ Kili was just using him for sex, but he wasn’t sure how to call what they had.

Kili’s shoulders tensed suddenly, and Ori bit his lip. Maybe he’d teased too much. The business with the trolls was a bit of a sore point for the other one, he knew that.

“I’ll remove it if you want,” he offered. “If it bothers your that much, I’ll…”

“You called me love.”

Ah.

Crap.

“I won’t do it again if that’s a problem…”

Kili turned (ruining the braid that Ori had _almost_ finished, not that it mattered) and his smile outshone the sun.

“Not a problem at all. Not if I can call you that too, at least.”

Ori grinned, and kissed him.

“You can call me anything you want, Kee.”

“Anything? Really? Can I call you…”

“No. Not that.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!”

“Still no. Now turn and keep reading, or I’ll never finished braiding your hair.”

Kili laughed, and closed the book. “I don’t see why you want to braid it. It’s going to go all messy later when we make love, anyway.”

Ori blushed. “Yes. Well. Part of the fun is to have nice done hair and to make it messy, you know. So turn around, and let me work.”

The prince laughed again, but he obeyed, and Ori went back to work.


	64. Ori/Thorin smut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (badly written) SMUT so you've been warned
> 
> Thorin and Ori have fun at Beorn's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because of this: http://yknow-fuck.tumblr.com/post/56678946788/heavy-breathing-i-drew-porn-more-sorry
> 
> also, not changing the global rating of this because it's one smutty thing for a billion non-smutty one, really.

Ori stifled a moan when Thorin’s finger breached him. He had to keep silent. They could _not_ be discovered, because Dori would freak out and kill them both.

But it was all Thorin’s fault, really. He’d barely touched Ori at all since they’d left Ered Luin. Actually, he hadn’t touched him at all, except from that night at Bag End, and even that had been so rushed… They could have done more during their short stay at Rivendell, but Thorin, bloody old stubborn fool that he was, had refused to put himself in such a defenceless position in a house of enemies.

The king didn’t have much better feelings towards Beorn, but after an evening of watching Ori licking honey from his fingers, his self control had _finally_ snapped.He had dragged the young scribe away from his brothers and into the kitchen, and there they were.

Half undressed.

Trying to stay silent.

Ori was usually good at being silent,but it was more difficult with Thorin who always seemed to find the right places to make him moan and whine. As he was doing now, his fingers slowly moving in and out, opening Ori as if they had all the time in the world. Which they did _not_.

“ _Tease_ ," Ori accused with a barely contained groan.

"No more than you are," Thorin retorted with a sharp jab to his prostate. “Do you have any idea what the past few weeks have been like, watching you and not being able to touch you? Do you have any idea how much I’ve wanted you?"

"Not so much I’d say," Ori replied with a smirk, “since you’re still _talking_ instead of buggering me."

That earned him a grunt from Thorin, and the king’s fingers left him. Ori most certainly _didn_ ’ _t_ whine at that, but he did let his lover help him move on his hands and knees, and he _did_ have to bite his lips not to moan when, at last, Thorin pressed against him and filled him.

Mahal, he had missed that.

"We’ll have to be quick, darling," the king panted against his ear. “The mead won’t distract your brothers for ever."

In answer, Ori pushed back against Thorin who let out a strangled moan and started moving.

It was fast, and the king’s thrusts were harder than in any of their previous sessions of lovemaking. Thorin was always such a tender lover… a shame really, because Ori was enjoying this harsh rhythm very much, they way he could barely do anything but to take everything his king gave him.

When Thorin once again found his sweet spot, Ori felt his arms give away under him and he half collapsed on the floor, with only the king’s hands on his hips to keep him in place. It took them a few seconds to get used to the new position, but soon enough Ori was biting his lips again, breathing heavily as he tried to stay quiet, stay silent, couldn’t let the others hear him even though he wanted nothing more than to shout his pleasure, Dori be damned.

It didn’t take long, after that, just one sharp, well placed thrust from Thorin, the weight of one of his hands on Ori’s shoulder, the sounds that the king couldn’t quite keep in, and Ori was gone, biting into his scarf to muffle his cry as orgasm hit him, soon followed by Thorin’s.

They both collapsed to the floor, the king careful not to fall on his young lover, smiling like Ori hadn’t seen him smile in far too long.

"This was a very stupid idea," Thorin announced, kissing the other dwarf tenderly.

"It was yours. I am a good, honest, innocent dwarf, I would never have dared to do such a thing."

Thorin chuckled, and kissed him again. " _You_ would take me in front of the entire company if you though you could get away with it, my darling, so don’t try to play innocent with me."

"I would do it, and you would love it."

The king rolled his eyes, which Ori decided meant he agreed. Feeling rather sleepy now that he’d finally had what he had wanted for so long, the scribe huddled close to his lover, nuzzling at his neck and making himself comfortable, but Thorin pushed him away gently.

"We can’t sleep here, treasure. We’ve been gone longer than we should have already, we must go back." Ori grumbled in protest, earning another kiss. “If you manage to get up and make yourself presentable," the king purred, “I promise to let you have me twice tomorrow. This seems a big house, I’m sure we’ll find a quiet place to go…"

In the blink of an eye, Ori was on his feet, pulling up his trousers and putting some order to his hair. After all one thing he knew about his lover was that Thorin _always_ kept his promises.


	65. Ori/Kili precious treasure

Some days, Kili felt like Ori was more beautiful than the most carefully crafted jewel the world had ever known.

He was also just as well guarded.

Ori might have been entirely unaware of how pretty he was (he always sounded so surprised at compliments, as if it had never crossed his mind that he looked so good, sometimes just looking at him was painful) but his brothers knew it very well. There was a reason Dori drowned him under layers and layers of unflattering knitted garments. There was a reason Nori, who could make anyone’s hair look good, always butchered his little brother’s haircuts.

Ori was a treasure, their treasure, and they were protecting him in every way they could, driving away anyone who might snatch him away from them, growling at any dwarf who so much as looked at him, getting into fights with anyone foolish enough to touch him.

He was their treasure, and they were guarding him.

But not  _quite_  well enough, Kili thought as he kissed Ori’s neck, letting his hands roam over the younger dwarf’s body.


	66. Ori&Dwalin Seeking Solace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> character death, canon ending  
> can be read as romance or bromance depending on your tastes

Dwalin looked at the grave, and felt nothing.

But then again, he had felt nothing since the battle, since he’d brought back the corp… the  _bodies_  of the young princes back to a healer, begging for them to be saved, only to hear that there was nothing left to save in them.

He had stopped feeling then.

Balin’s wounds had left him unaffected.

Even Thorin’s death hadn’t touched him.

He felt nothing, and stared at the grave. As he did every day since the funeral. Trying to understand what had happened. Trying to figure out what he could have done better.

He jumped when he felt a hand on his arm, but relaxed when he saw Ori’s broken smile. The lad pressed himself to Dwalin’s side, and the older dwarf put his arm around the boy’s shoulder, holding him close.

He didn’t feel anything.

But around Ori, he almost did. The lad made him feel alive. Reminded him that others were alive…

"You still haven’t made me visit the mountain," Ori said, huddling closer, his voice as broken as his smile. “You’ve got to. You promised."

He had. Back in Laketown, when things were still right. Back when he still cared. Back when he still felt. Back when that mountain still meant something, because it was Thorin’s, and Fili’s, and Kili’s.

"You  _promised_ ," Ori repeated, looking up at him, with pleading eyes. Dwalin wondered briefly when the boy had started caring so much about Erebor… until it hit him that this wasn’t about the mountain at all. This was about getting Dwalin away from the graves.

If he could have still felt, he would have been touched by the boy’s efforts.

Even as he was, he felt touched.

"Aye, lad. I promised. We could do it now, if you want."

Ori just smiled in answer, and that smile wasn’t quite so broken anymore.


	67. Dori/Balin Abandoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> character death, canon events

Dori looked at the Book, reading it again and again… the first pages at least. He could pretend, that way. Reading how strongly they had believed in their quest, how well things had gone for the first year, he could pretend. Ori had written so cheerfully, as he always did, telling of every little detail, transcribing Balin’s great speeches (and M’al, but wasn’t Balin just as talkative as Thorin had been…)

It felt nice, in a way, reading about their successful days in Moria.

He could almost pretend that his lover hadn’t gone away to chase a dream, that way.

He could almost pretend that Balin would come back, one day, a king, the king of Khazad Dum, and they would be happy again.

He could  _almost_  pretend.


	68. Ori/Thorin saving him from boredom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Ori tells the annoying council members to go away by sitting on thorins lap and feeding him cookies

The council had dragged on for hours and hours because they couldn’t quite agree on some minute detail of a business agreement with Dale. Thorin had reached the point where he wasn’t sure if he wanted to murder the old fools surrounding him, or to die himself. Could one die out of sheer boredom? He wasn’t sure, but he felt he would find out very soon, should it be possible.

Not that he let his boredom and despair reach his face, of course. He was King Under the Mountain. He had to at least pretend he was interested in what was going on. He just wished something would happen, something, anything…

Something like Ori barging in with a small basket, for example.

They all turned to the young dwarf in surprise, and Ori blushed, as he always did when he was the center of attention, but he still walked determinedly toward Thorin.

"Do you… need something, my dear?" the king asked, unsure. It wasn’t new to him to see his young consort with such determination on his face, but usually Ori had that expression when they were alone, and a lot more naked.

"I am here to bring you lunch," the lad answered, firmly dropping his basket on the table before climbing on Thorin’s lap.

Thorin who was too shocked to protest, even as Ori turned to his council and glared at the old dwarves.

"It is lunch time, my lords and ladies," he said with his most commending voice (again, one Thorin was quite used to, though he’d never heard it in public before. This was about to become embarrassing).

"I believe it is time for you to go and eat," Ori almost but not quite ordered, taking a biscuit from his basket. “In any case, it is time for the king to eat. I appreciate everyone’s dedication to Erebor, but we do not want our beloved monarch to fall sick, do we?"

There was some grumbling, but another glare from Ori was enough to make it stop, and one after another the council members left until there was only the King and in consort in the room.

"I wish I could do that," Thorin laughed. “I wanted nothing more than to do that. Thank you for saving me, my dear."

"An entirely selfish act," Ori purred before kissing him. “I just couldn’t let them keep you all to themselves. I’ve barely seen you all week, it’s my turn to have you."

And how could Thorin have objected to that, really?


	69. Ori/Bofur courting gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Ori/Bofur; Ori and Bifur team up to make a mechanical kitten covered in knitted fur for Bofur's birthday.

It was cheating, technically.

One was supposed to make one’s courting gift on one’s own. Only, Ori had never really been that good with metal, it just wasn’t his thing, and he’d never have managed on his own, and really, Bifur was head of the family, so he had a right to decide what was an appropriate courting gift for his cousin. And it seemed he had decided that this would do.

And anyway, the design had been Ori’s, and he’d been the one to find that incredibly fluffy wool that would look just like fur, and he’d stayed by Bifur’s side every time the other dwarf had worked on the toy…

He was really quite proud of himself, and he wished, hoped, that Bofur would like and would accept it as well as his courtship… and if he didn’t, well, it was still a nice present for his birthday, wasn’t it?

He’d had the idea because Bofur had once mentioned that all his life he’d wanted a dog, but he’d found it cruel to make an animal live, underground. He’d looked so sad as he said it that Ori had started wondering how to make his dream come true…

And he’d found a way.

But now that he’d actually given the toy to Bofur, and the other dwarf was inspecting it, Ori felt terrified. This had been such a dreadful idea. It barely looked like a puppy at all, and anyway yes, it walked and did a trick or two when you pressed a button, but it wasn’t the same as a real dog at all, and Bofur might think he was mocking him, and…

"Lad, that’s beautiful," Bofur whispered, staring at Ori in wonder. “Are ye sure ye want t’give ta me?"

Ori nodded, flushed.

"Courting present!" he blurted, before wincing. Oh, really.  _Smooth_.

But Bofur’s expression only grew more amazed, as if he couldn’t quite believe in luck, and he took Ori’s hand in his.

"Ye want to court me?"

The scribe nodded eagerly and Bofur laughed before kissing him softly.

"Lad,  _that’s_  an even better present than the toy, and it was already the most wonderful thing I’d ever been given."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've tried to hint at it on tumblr and I'll do it again here:  
> Ori/Bofur is lovely and I like it  
> but you send me Ori/Bifur and I'll love you for ever


	70. Nori/Fili plushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili has a secret  
> Nori doesn't mind.

Nori had been going in and out of Fili's bed for a while now. They had started it in Ered Luin, they had continued during the quest (with as much discretion as they could manage... and that was quite discreet indeed) and they had seen no reason to stop now that Thorin was, at last, King under the Mountain.

Or more exactly, they had been together in someone's bed. Occasionally Nori's.

Never Fili's.

Plenty of good reasons for that, the main one being that there were servant in the palace, and servants were the worst kind of gossip ever, and no one really needed to know that the kingdom's heir was shagging the spymaster. It was a good reason. Nori accepted quite easily, and really, as long as shagging occurred, he didn't really care about the finer details of it.

He still knew for a fact that Fili had a nice, big, comfortable bed. Ori had told him so (and Nori did not want to know how his brother knew that, but it apparently involved Kili, Dis, a broken vase, the need to remain hidden for a couple hours, and a fair amount of boredom).

Nori didn't mind getting fucked in uncomfortable places, but he'd like to try comfort at least once, if possible. Just for the sheer novelty of it.

So one afternoon, he invited himself into his prince's bedroom, for the very first time.

And looking at his bed, he suddenly understood why Fili hadn't wanted him there before. Because Fili didn't sleep alone. No, Fili was a naughty, naughty dwarf who slept with company. A numerous company.

Plushes of all sizes and shapes. More than Nori had seen in his entire life and they looked...

soft.

Very soft.

Of course, Nori thought, the fact that he would be making fun of Fili's later didn't mean he couldn't enjoy this situation. So he removed his boots and his coat, and jumped on Fili's bed.

It was every bit as soft as Ori had said it was. Beds probably weren't allowed to be that soft. It had to be illegal somehow. And the plushes were just every bit as cuddly as they looked. That huge dog in particular was the cuddliest thing he had ever know (and he had cuddled with Dori on a good day, so he knew what a very good cuddle was). Nori kept burrowing his face in the thing's belly and rubbing his nose against the soft material.

Until he heard a door opened, followed by a cry.

"Nori? What are you doing here?"

Reluctantly, Nori separated himself from the fake dog to smirk at Fili.

"I am discovering a brand new side of my favourite idiot. Plushies, eh?"

"Oh, shut up," Fili grunted. "Mother gave them to me, that's all. Can't very well throw them away, can I?"

"'Course not."

"You are never going to stop making fun of me for this, are you?"

"Never, but I won't do it in public, if that helps."

Fili groaned, and let himself fall face first on his bed.

"I hate you, No," he mumbled against the blanket.

"Now, don't say that. I had just earned mister Doggy's trust too, now all my hard work is spoiled."

There was a moment of silence, before Fili rose his head to glare at his lover.

"Mr Doggy?"

"That's what I'm calling him."

"But Petunia is a girl! She's... oh fuck, you're going to make fun of me for that too, won't you?"

"Petunia?"

" _Shut up_."

" _Make me,_ " Nori challenged him with a smirk.

And Fili knew that smirk. It was a good smirk. And there were so many way to try to silence Nori (though none of them really worked, come to think of it, but at least he made less annoying sounds).

Grinning back, Fili grabbed his lover and pulled him down for a kiss.

Petunia and the rest would probably be highly traumatized by what they'd see, but it was time they learned about the things of life.


	71. Bifur/Bilbo gentle peck

Bilbo looked at the toy in his hands, then back at Bifur.

"You’re giving it to me?"

Nod.

"But it’s so… it’s so beautiful! I’ve never had anything like that even as a child, and my parents could afford the nicest toys… It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!"

There was a pleased smile on Bifur’s lips. The pride of an artist, Bilbo thought. And it was a well deserved pride: the hobbit had never seen such level of detail on a figurine, the small eagle looked ready to fly away.

"But why are you giving it to me? Don’t take this the wrong way, I’m very happy you did, it’s so amazing, but… why?"

Bifur frowned, as he sometimes did when he wasn’t sure how to make something go from his head to someone else’s. It did last though, and a second later he bent toward Bilbo, leaving a quick kiss to his lips.

Well, that certainly explained  _a lot_ , Bilbo thought, smiling widely at the dwarf.


	72. balin/dori jealousy

Balin wasn’t a jealous dwarf, of course. Jealousy came from a lack of self-confidence and trust in one’s partner, and he knew better than to fall into either failings.

No, he was merely annoyed to see that, once again, Lord Frej had apparently decided that he’d be dancing with Dori, in spite of how obvious it was that Dori 1) was spoken for 2) didn’t like him 3) was for now too polite to get angry, but his patience was running thin, and things might get ugly pretty fast.

So really, it was out of mercy for Frej that Balin grabbed Dori’s wrist, pulled him to himself, and planted a firm kiss on his lips before stating that the next dance was his. Dori seemed a little flustered at first (public demonstration of affection had never been their thing) but he agreed to give that dance to Balin.

"You jealous old thing," Dori teased later.

"I am  _not_ ,” Balin protested.

Not much, anyway.


	73. Nori/Fili last night together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (vaguely linked to this: http://archiveofourown.org/works/924235/chapters/1815677 )  
> Your "Kiss along the hips" gave me the idea. There'll come the time that Thorin'll die. Fili must become king and take a spouse to have heirs. A goodbye to Nori is in order 'cause dwarves are strictly monogamous. Even if Fili liked to fool around with Nori, he has obligations now. I WANT ANGST! I WANT THEIR SUFFERENCE AND HEART DOUBTS! ù.ù

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have acquired a permanent headcanon that Nori is a transman  
> So unless I'm specifically saying otherwise, he always is  
> just saying  
> also: be careful when you ask for angst, because I might do it

"It’s the last time you know," Fili told him, kissing his back. "Mother already has three potential fiancées for me, all of them young and from…  _fertile_ families. I’m supposed to pick one tomorrow. Tonight’s the last night.”

Nori didn’t answer. He knew that. They had discussed it before. Fili had to have kids. The line couldn’t be broken, and with Thorin dead the month before and Kili… they barely ever thought of Kili anymore, just as they didn’t think about Ori. It had been so long, and it hurt so much to think about them.

"Better make that a good night then," Nori mumbled when he realized he’d been silent too long.

 

He wasn’t sure he’d be able to ever take another lover. Fili had accepted him, _all_  of him, the way no one had before. He knew enough about the way the world work to guess that he’d never find that acceptance again.

Fili was painfully tender that night. It wasn’t the way they usually did things. Most of the time they laughed as they made love, teasing each other and joking and doing their best to drive the other crazy. Fucking was supposed to be fun. They both needed it to be fun.

Nori knew they couldn’t have laughed that night, not even if they had tried, but he wished their last memory would have been different. He wanted the smell of sweat and sex, the grunts and groans and laughter, Fili’s blunt nails on his back as they fucked, the taste of the prince’s mouth against his.

It occurred to him, once they were done, that in spite of all that they had once promised each other, he had fallen in love with the young king.

"Can’t you just name an heir?" Nori asked, too tired to stop himself. "Do like your uncle. Take someone’s kids. Dain has a few, he could spare one."

"People want an heir born and raised here," Fili sighed, nuzzling against his lover’s neck. "A true prince of Erebor. They want my child."

"You know, I could…"

Nori didn’t finish. He couldn’t say it. It was against his every instinct, against everything he had ever wanted in his life. He had fought since he had first bled so that he’d never have to bear children, never have to be a woman. The very idea of it made him sick.

But to keep Fili, he might have tried.

Or at least, he was considering trying, and it scared him. When had he fallen so hard for that stupid little prince, now a king, that he was ready to give up on everything he had, everything he was, just to keep him a little longer?

Thankfully, Fili tore himself from him then, looking furious.

"Don’t you dare!" he snarled. "Don’t you ever dare suggest… If I kept you like that, if I forced you to be… do you think I could ever look myself in a mirror again? If that’s the price to pay to keep you, then I’d rather lose you! So don’t even suggest it. I love you too much to…"

Fili stopped abruptly as he realized what he’d said. It was their rule. It was their first rule. It was just a fuck between friends. No feelings involved, because they would never be each other’s anyway.

"It’s fine kid," Nori told him, moving to kiss him. "It’s fine, I…"

"Don’t say it. Please don’t say it."

"Love you too, Fili."

The young king made a pained noise and pounced on Nori, kissing him again. There was nothing tender about the way they made love that time. It was raw and desperate, their last taste of the most precious thing a dwarf could have; their last moment of passion with their One.

Come morning, they would have to go their own way, Fili would pick a mother for his children, and Nori would have to protect that woman with his life until the end of his days. Come morning, all they would have left would be a few bruises that would fade too quickly, and memories of laughter, of naked skin, of things that would never be again.

Come morning, it would all end.

But morning was still far away and until it came, they would take everything they could get.


	74. Ori/Fili Fili is asexual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Fili/Ori with ace!Fili and cuddles

Ori kissed Fili’s cheek and huddled closer. The prince smiled, and kissed his friend’s hair, enjoying the closeness.

He wasn’t too sure what they were, Ori and him. Friends wasn’t quite the exact truth, because they kissed sometimes, or slept together… but since sleeping (with a bit of cuddling) was all that ever happened in their bed, they probably weren’t lovers either.

For the longest of times, both of them had thought they were just of these dwarves that had no interest in romance, and it had been fine. Ori had taken lovers sometimes, he still did, whereas Fili never had, and probably never would… and it was fine. Fili wasn’t often jealous of the dwarves Ori took to his bed, and Ori usually didn’t mind that Fili had no taste for the pleasure of the flesh.

It didn’t matter, after all.

What matter was that they had each other, even if they didn’t have words to describe what it meant when others asked.


	75. Ori/Kili teenage pregnancy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: I once posted to the kinkmeme for some Kili/FemOri, teenage romance becomes teenaged pregnancy but Kili and Thorin have a HUGE fight, so Kili and Ori take off and no one knows where they are, but then Kili and Ori get a small flat in grumpy Mr Baggins' 'BagEnd Apts' and then there's more family drama (Nori finds out where they are and breaks in to fill their fridge sometimes)
> 
> (as a warning, I pretty much didn't really follow the prompt?XD)

It had been an accident, but one Kili couldn’t quite regret, even if he sometimes felt selfish for it. It was his fault, he knew, because he was the one supposed to have bought condoms that time, because they’d used their last ones on Ori’s birthday a couple days earlier… and sure, it was the two of them who had decided that in real life, no one really got knocked up just from one time without protection.

Both Thorin and Ari had yelled at them quite a lot for that, but while the first had said that he would either pay for an abortion or never see his nephew again ( _"at least your mother had the senses of being old enough to vote before she got knocked up"_ ), the other had eventually decided to help them, no matter what they would decide. And it had taken them a long enough time to decide, because Kili didn’t want Ori to drop out of school (she was far,  _far_  too clever, and as he’d told her, he just couldn’t ruin her future like that) but they both wanted that baby, in the end.

Thorin had kept his word. Kili had moved out the very day when he had announced their decision, and Ari had taken him in.

The plan was this: Kili left school and got a job, thanks to a friend of Dori’s, so that they’d have some money to the side. Ori would stay in school as long as possible, and go back there after the birth, while Kili would stop working and stay home with the little one for a couple months. Then Ari would get her retirement, and take the baby during the days while Kili worked and Ori studied, and then they could start looking for a place of their own.

It was a good plan.

It worked well enough, in the end.

It wasn’t always easy. Kili worked on a construction site, which left him exhausted, and Ori was just as tired between studying for her A-levels and growing another human being in her body. There were a few arguments, and a lot of tears, and they both agreed that their child would know that yes, one time without protection really was all it took. There were also rumours, people calling Ori a slut for getting pregnant at 16, “friends” asking Kili how he could be sure the child even was his, and the only reason they kept their calm and let it slide was that they knew they  _wouldn’t_  be allowed a single mistake.

There were good moments too, though, and not all tears were bad. Kili cried when he first heard their baby’s heart, and though Ori laughed at him gently, she wasn’t in a much better state. They also laughed a lot while trying to choose a name, mostly because Kili kept coming up with extravagant ideas until Ori would scold him and ask him to be a little more serious.

"Sure. Okay, this one is a serious name. How about Plectrude?"

They’d both fall into another fit of giggles, and Ori would slap him gently on the shoulder and kiss him.

Donna’s birth went fairly well. She was a very ugly baby, both her parents agreed on it, but they still loved her very much, and they had a lot of fun forcing everyone to say Donna was pretty as a flower.

The months that followed were a lot harder than they had expected.

Babies, as Kili soon discovered, didn’t sleep. Ever. At all. And since Ori needed to be in school and well rested, it meant he often didn’t sleep either. He spent his days with Donna, and his nights too, because he had figured it would be easier if he slept in her room, since it meant less chances of waking up Ori. It was strangely depressing, being mostly alone with the baby like that. Kili missed being around his friends and goind out, he missed school, he missed work even, tiring as that had been.

He missed Ori.

It was maybe the strangest of it all, but he missed his girlfriend. They hadn’t had much time for each other during the pregnancy, but they had still managed to laugh together here and there, to steal a few kisses… they no longer did. Ori had her exams to prepare and she was too focused on that to do anything else… and anyway Kili was too constantly tired to do anything but sleep when he got a little free time. But he still missed her, he missed going out with her, meeting her after school and walking home with her, he missed making out with her behind the science building, he missed watching crap tv with her and listening to her complain how she could write better shows than that with her hands tied, he missed watching her draw, he missed having her visit him at the archery club and showing off to make her laugh.

He missed Ori.

It was a relief for everyone when her exams were over. They all celebrated Ori’s excellent grades, as well as her being accepted into the art school she’d dreamed of for years.

With the holidays, things were a little easier. It wasn’t so bad, taking care of the baby, now that Ori really could help, and Kili felt less tired all the time. And it must have become clear that they missed being together, because for Ori’s birthday, her brother Nori gave her two entrances for two days at an amusement park, and one night in a very nice hotel. Kili could have kissed him. Instead he kissed Ori, thinking she might appreciate it more.

That week-end at the amusement park was heaven. It had been a long while since either of them had had that much fun, and Kili suddenly remembered that they were still kids, that he was just nineteen, and Ori was just 17.

"It’s been a funny year," he said when they went to bed after the first day there (still too tired to do anything, but he fully hoped they’d manage to make love in the morning). "I feel really, really old. And I’m talking a Dori sort of old, you know. Not in age, but in… in my head."

"Being a parent’s hard," Ori yawned, pressing against his side until she found a comfortable position. "But you’ve been great at it. You are a very good dad. Which is good because I’m not so much of a great mom, and if you hadn’t stuck around, the baby would have ended in Dori’s hands, and we all know how that ends."

"With running away, or teen pregnancy," Kili snorted. "Though Nori did well enough in the end, and we’re not doing so bad. I mean, we’re still together, for a start, and you haven’t killed me yet."

Ori chuckled soflty, pressing a little more against him. Kili could feel her breasts against his side, and the warmth of her skin through the t-shirt she wore, and he didn’t really feel so tired anymore.

"No way I’m killing you," she laughed, kissing his neck. "You’re the only one of us who knows how to change a diaper."

"What, that’s the only reason I deserve to be kept alive then? I am  _wounded_!”

"Not the only reason no," Ori laughed again, and she moved to straddle him. Kili really didn’t feel that tired, after all.

It had been a crazy year, and the following ones probably weren’t going to be any saner. But as long as they were together, they’d manage.


	76. Ori/Kili teenage pregnancy pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: fem!Ori (possibly from the teen pregnancy verse) is obsessed with illuminated manuscripts and illuminations (which Dori disapproves of b/c he doesn't think she can make money with it) so instead she designs her own knotwork tattoos, partially based on her favourite manuscript, the Book of Kells. (trying to decide if she b/c's a tattoo artist or if Kili does. decisions, decisions)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awkward moment when I don't like pregnancies, parenthood, and I have very mixed feelings about the very idea of a fem!Ori, but I still like that 'verse for some reason

It was Dwalin’s fault, as was everything bad in their lives, according to Dori. It had been Dwalin with whom Nori had run away after coming out. It had been Dwalin who had helped Nori get a job in the nightclub where he worked, leading him into a life of darkness and moral looseness.

It was Dwalin who had introduced Ori to the world of tattoos, and now instead of wanting to do something good and respectable with her art degree, the silly girl wanted to learn how to make tattoos.

"That’s no proper work for a young mother!" Dori protested when Ori told her. "Your daughter is four, you just can’t drag her down into…"

"You said illuminations weren’t proper work either," Ori noted.

"What?"

The girl rolled her eyes (a habit she’d gotten from Kili) and sighed (Kili’s fault again) and when she spoke again, she did so very slowly, as if her oldest brother were very stupid (that one was from Nori)

"When I started making illuminations for my school projects, you said it was silly of me because I could never make money out of it," she explained. "Well, I still did them, and my teachers loved them, and Dwalin loved them, and he showed them to his tattoo artist Oin, who said they were nice and he said he could take me in as an apprentice."

Dori opened his mouth to protest, but she stopped him with one gesture.

"It won’t pay much at all, not when I start, but it’ll be part time and I can get another job the rest of the time, and Kili does well enough now, and I’d get special hours so I can go get Donna at school. And if I’m good enough, it’s a job that pays well enough as far as I’m concerned, and if it doesn’t work out I’ll just try to get something else, that’s all."

Dori frowned.

"I don’t see why you came to tell me if you’ve already decided!"

She smiled at him. One of Nori’s smiles, the sort that Dori hated.

"I didn’t came to ask for permission," she announced brightly. "I just came to inform you of a fact."

"You spend too much time with Nori. And with Kili. You’re turning just as bad as them."

"Dreadful, that, daring to spend time with my brother and my husband. Shame on me."

Dori glared at her. Sometimes, he hated how bloody sassy his entire family was. He could only hope that somehow, Donna wouldn’t be as bad.

He already knew she probably would be worse.


	77. Ori&Nori - Dori isn't real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> neverventureeast on tumblr shared a sad headcanon about Dori being Ori's imaginary brother
> 
> I couldn't resist the angst.

“Don’t sit here, that’s Dori’s seat!” Ori cried, and Nori froze, before throwing a questioning look at their mother.

Ari bit her lip, then shrugged as nonchalantly as she could.

“It’s his imaginary friend,” she explained. “Ori is quite fond of him.”

Nori rolled his eyes, because really, life was difficult enough without that brat going mad… a child that should never have existed, never would have existed if their mother had been smart enough to not fall in love with a dwarf who had died soon after at Azanulbizar, leaving them with a damn baby to take care of… and children were so expensive. Nori hated Ori, hated how difficult things because of him, but he still took any job he could and made sure the brat never had to go hungry, because he hated him, but not always as much as he loved him.

But that night, the hate was stronger, so Nori sat by the fire, silently challenging his little brother to do anything about it.

“It’s Dori’s place,” Ori repeated, clearly outraged to have been ignored. “He’s going to be angry at you!”

“Do I look like I care, brat? What’s he gonna do anyway? Push me away?”

Nori made a face, pretending to be terrified, and then he burst out laughing. Ori glared at him, and threw a pleading look at Ari, but she ignored him. She didn’t want to get in a fight with Nori, not again, and not for the injured pride of someone who didn’t even exist.

 

Nori wasn’t often home. He’d started taking more dangerous jobs, the only way to buy medicine for Ari who was growing old, the only way to pay for Ori’s apprenticeship, the only way to feel like he still had some control over his own life.

Every time he came back, his mother was weaker, his brother was stronger.

Every time he came back, Dori was there.

Ari and him had thought that Ori would grow out of it. He hadn’t.

He didn’t always talk about Dori, not in front of Nori at least, but Ari told him that he still often talked to Dori, telling him about his day, about the things he learned, about all the things a young dwarf could tell an older brother.

“He’s decided it was his _brother_?” Nori gasped the first time his mother told him. It stung, somehow. It was bad enough that the crazy brat had a friend who wasn’t real, but a brother… he already had a brother, he had Nori, and shouldn’t that have been enough for him?

“A mother hen of a brother, apparently,” Ari confirmed, and that hurt too. “Ori has decided that Dori was the one who got him everything he’s ever knitted… and our tea is Dori’s too, as well as those nice cinnamon biscuits, but Dori is kind enough to share with us.”

Nori grunted. He had liked those biscuits, but he swore to himself he’d never eat another one as long as Ori’s madness would last.

“Why are you allowing him that?” he asked. “Brat’s crazy!”

“It helps him,” Ari sighed, looking so old and tired. “He doesn’t have many friends… he tries hard, but he has trouble talking about the things young ones enjoy. He doesn’t care about flirting or fighting, all he loves is his books and writing. He can’t figure out how small talk works, but he can comment on calligraphy for hours… and Dori is the only one who will listen to him.”

“Force him then! Teach him to be normal! We’ve got a bad enough reputation already, don’t you think?”

“I’ve tried, Nori, I’ve tried… and he’s tried too, he tried so hard to fit in, in vain. What more can we do? If this helps him… let him have it.”

Nori glared at his mother. He called her stupid and lazy, he yelled at her that it was her fault, that she’d been a bad mother, and now by her fault one of her sons was a criminal and the other was a loony. He shouted and shouted until Ori ran to them, saying that Nori had to stop, because it upset Dori when people argued.

Nori slapped him.

“He doesn’t exist,” he snarled. “Your Dori doesn’t exist! I’m your only brother, get used to it!”

“You can say that,” Ori sobbed, rubbing his cheek, “but I’d rather have a fake brother that’s in my head than to just have _you_.”

Nori slapped him again, and shouted, shouted every horror he could think of, before storming out of the house.

He didn’t come back for years.

 

When Nori went home, Ari had been dead for five years.

Ori was living alone, doing his best to handle his apprenticeship and a small job to pay for said apprenticeship. He did well enough, the neighbours told Nori. He seemed a little lonely at times, but he had that brother of his to help him.

“We know Dori’s not real,” an old woman told Nori, “but we all pretend… poor kid, it’s not easy, and him so young too… it’s a shame really, he’s so good at writing, but so terrible with people. Having Dori, it makes him feel better.”

Nori didn’t dare to come in and talk to his brother. He just waited for the night, and dropped some money inside.

The whole time he was there, he felt as if the spectre of Dori the Perfect Brother were glaring at him.

 

He hadn’t meant to get arrested.

He hadn’t meant to join Thorin’s quest.

He hadn’t meant to drag Ori’s in that.

But he smiled when his little brother came to see him, and told him that he was coming too.

He felt more like crying when Ori cheerfully added that Dori was coming to of course, because Dori was a mother hen who would never leave him do anything alone.

 

The worst, Nori thought, was the way the entire company acted as if Dori were real. Some of them were just joking and thought the whole thing was rather funny. Bofur often asked him Dori was pretty, and up for a bit of fun, while the princes teased Ori and dared him to do things that Dori would disapprove. Balin, who had been Ori’s master, was very kind to the kid and he often talked to him and his imaginary brother. Even Thorin seemed to accept that his company’s scribe was entirely mad, but then again, once thing that was certain was that the king had just accepted whoever had offered to come.

The hobbit was the only one to be a little surprise to see Ori talk to empty air, and for a while, Nori thought that there was at least another sane person in their company… but when Dwalin explained everything to the hobbit, Bilbo just said that he too had been lonely after his mother’s death.

 

Ori had joined the quest to be with Nori, he’d said, but he never talked to him, preferring the conversation of his imaginary brother.

Nori, at first, pretended that he didn’t mind, that he didn’t want the company of a loony scribe who wouldn’t have survived two days alone in the wild.

But at Rivendell, he discovered that his brother wasn’t that mad after all. Because Ori accidentally started a discussion with some elves about some elfic letters, and that discussion lasted for hours and rekindled every day they were there… and not once did Ori talk to Dori.

It hit Nori then that maybe the boy really had been just lonely.

 

It hit him bad when orcs surrounded them, and Ori almost fell to his death.

Nori managed to catch him at the last minute, doing his best to keep them both alive…

But it was Dori’s name that Ori called the whole time.

 

Mirkwood was a terrible place, and Nori hated it. Not just for how gloomy it was, but also for the effect it had on Ori. The kid looked like he was suffocating all the time, barely managing to eat, constantly looking around him as if something might come out from behind the trees and hurt him.

Some nights, Ori curled up on himself, and Nori knew he was imagining a hug from Dori.

It wasn’t until after the spider, when all was lost anyway, that Nori dared to give his brother the hug he’d been craving so much. Ori flinched at first, looking more afraid than Nori had ever seen him before… even the trolls and orcs and spiders hadn’t frightened that boy as much. But Nori tried again, pulling his brother to him, and after a while, Ori relaxed.

It shouldn’t have felt like a victory.

It still did.

 

Things had gone wrong in Erebor, they had grown very wrong, and for the first time in his life, Nori was glad that Ori had invented Dori. It gave the boy something to focus on, something that wasn’t Thorin’s madness or the battle that they would never be able to avoid.

Nori was glad that Dori existed.

But it was still Nori that fastened Ori’s armour, and chose his weapons for him.

It was Nori who pronounced the traditional blessings.

It was Nori who held his brother, and told him to stay safe.

It was Nori who turned to an empty space next to Ori, and asked Dori to keep their brother safe, because you just never knew.

He could have sworn he heard a voice then, and that voice said “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you both.”


	78. Ori&Nori -Dori doesn't existe pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori invented Dori to keep him company  
> But as he leaves for Moria, he realizes he doesn't need him anymore

He didn’t need Dori as much, these days.

There were scholars in Erebor, dwarves and elves and men, who had come from far away to see the remains of the mountain’s librairy, and Ori could talk to them. They didn’t make him talk about the weather, they didn’t comment on his tunic or his hair. They came to him, and asked if he knew where this book was, if there was any chance that this document had survived, if he could translate that other one in Sindarin. There were people who talked to him about things that were safe, things he understood, and slowly, he started managing the other conversation too.

It was easier to talk about hair and clothes when he knew that it wasn’t the main thing people expected from him.

Beside, another reason to not need Dori as much was that he has Nori now.

Nori didn’t hate him so much these days. He even seemed to like him, which was… pleasing. It made Ori feel warm and happy, knowing that Nori loved him.

It was a little sad to abandon Dori, after so many years together… but Dori told him that he didn’t mind, that he was glad Ori was doing better these days.

And he was doing better, he really was. So when Balin asked him to come to Moria with him, Ori did’t hesitate. It would be like Erebor, only they would be better prepared, with more followers, a real army.

He would be the first scribe in centuries to enter Khazad Dum, and there would be so much to document.

"Will Dori be with you?" Nori asked. "Will he protect you?"

Ori smiled, amazed once again by his brother’s belief that Dori had supernatural powers. Nori seemed convinced that they had both survived the battle thanks to Dori, which was ridiculous. Their brother was just a dwarf.

"No, he’s staying in Erebor," Ori announced proudly. "He said I’m capable of living my own life now. I can talk to people and I can’t fight, I’ve got nothing to fear."

Nori nodded, but he didn’t look too happy to hear it. It was almost funny that after years of hating Dori, Nori now wanted him to stay with Ori…

But Ori was a grown-up now, and he could manage on his own.

*****

It had been years since Ori’s last letter, and it wasn’t like him not to write.

Nori had been amazed by his little brother’s first letter. It had been so cheerful, full of detail on everything. All the things that Ori had never been able to talk about, all the words that stuck in his throat when he tried to speak, he’d put them on paper as if it were nothing.

Nori hadn’t missed the irony of it. Ori had a way to communicate… and it was one Nori couldn’t use to talk to him, because he could barely write at all.

But he’d still enjoyed Ori’s letters… 

Until they stopped arriving.

And it wasn’t like Ori to just stop writing. Ori didn’t stop doing things, not unless someone made him stop.

"No news from Balin or Oin either," he told Dori one night. "Do you think I should go and see what happened there?"

Only, he didn’t really tell Dori anything, because Dori didn’t exist.

But since Ori had gone, Nori sometimes talked to himself, when he felt lonely. Sometimes, he could almost hear an answer.

That night was such an occasion.

"You won’t like what you’ll find there," the voice that might have been his own told him. "Sometimes, it’s better to stay in the dark and pretend."

But Nori had never been the sort to pretend.

He left soon after that, and went to Moria.

The voice that wasn’t Dori’s was right.

He didn’t like what he found there.

"You were supposed to protect him," he snarled at the older brother he didn’t have while looking at the corpses and trying to find Ori’s. "That’s what you were _for_. Why didn’t you protect him?”

"Because he asked me to stay in Erebor and keep an eye on you," no one answered. "He was worried about you. He had managed to move on from his old life… he wasn’t sure you had."

"Shut up," Nori retorted. "Shut up and help me find him, at least. He’s got to be somewhere, he’s got to be here… unless he survived. Maybe he survived?"

He clung to that hope, looking at the bodies rotting around him.

Until he found the corpse of a small dwarf, holding tight to a book almost as large as him.

It was almost impossible to take the book from the dead dwarf, and Nori laughed, because it occured to him that it really had to be Ori… and the laughter turned to tears, because it really  _had_  to be Ori. But he wouldn’t know, until he’d read it, he wouldn’t know…

It was a slow business, because reading never came easy to him, and crying didn’t help.

And cry he did.

Ori seemed so happy in the first pages, commenting about every little thing their small army did, all their successes, all the arguments, all the building friendships. He also noted, here and there, the things that Nori would have liked, and everything he’d show his brother…

And then, when things started turning bad, Ori would wish that Nori were there. “Nori would have know what to do.” “Nori wouldn’t have made that mistake.” “Nori wouldn’t have been scared of the drums.” "Nori would have found a way out, he always did." 

Nori felt sick.

He also felt as if there were arms wrapping around him, warm, safe arms holding him tight.

"I couldn’t have saved him," no one said. "Not this time. He didn’t believe in me anymore… he believed in you."

Nori closed his eyes, holding the book tight against his chest, and pretended he wasn’t alone.


	79. Dori can't help his brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Dori worrying about his brothers? because they get older, marry, move on with their life, or are in trouble or unhappy for reasons he can't fix?  
> (very short one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr has decided that I should write angst today  
> I'm fine with that.

It was painful to watch them, and know he could do nothing for them.

Dori wasn’t used to being helpless. He had always manage to make his brothers smile, always. No matter what life had thrown their way, Dori had always been there for Nori and Ori. He had healed injuries, he had listened to stories of heartbreaks, he had gotten angry over insults they received, he had hugged them tight, and beaten up anyone that dared to hurt them.

But as he looked at his brothers laying flowers and letters upon the graves of the dead princes, Dori knew that this time, there was nothing he could do for them.


	80. Nori/Fili - Moon and Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili is a daily divinity, Nori is a nightly one. As the best legends want, they can never meet even though feeeeelingsss

At least they had the eclipses.

It wasn’t enough (nothing would have been enough. They could have spent the rest of eternity in each other’s arms and Nori would have still felt that it wasn’t enough) but it was better than nothing. It was the only thing they had been allowed.

A few minutes here and there, just enough to say a few words and kiss and wish they could get more.

It was all they could get.

The rest of the time, they had to rely on messengers. Kili, who commended to clouds and rain, passed messages between them, most of them in the form of terrible jokes. They had never said it aloud, but the good thing with jokes was that it made them laugh, and that was better than crying.  Ori, who commended to winds, watched over Fili for Nori, telling him how brightly he had burned that day, reminding his brother of the sun god’s smile, of his warmth…

the warmth was what Nori missed the most.

It was cold during the nights.

He had never minded the cold before he’d met Fili.

He did now.

He hated the cold, and he hated the darkness, the way his light was never enough, the way most people who prayed to him were thieves, and they were praying for him to shine  _less_ …

He used to like the thieves, he used to think them funny. Now he knew they lived by destroying what the people who were awake to Fili’s light made, and so he hated them.

He missed the time when he didn’t feel hatred for everything in his kingdom. He missed the time when he laughed with the thieves, when he sang with the stars, when he played at making the dark darker than black. He missed the time before Fili.

But more than anything, he missed Fili.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr has decided that I should write angst.  
> I think I'm mostly okay with that.


	81. Nori&Thorin - shovel talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori shovel talking Thorin  
> (with a twist)

The strange thing, Thorin thought distantly, was that he had always assumed that Nori would be good at giving the shovel talk. As it was turning out, he wasn’t.

Oh, he was  _trying_ , Thorin had to grant him that. He was playing meaningfully with his knives, and glaring darkly, but there was a clear lack on intent behind it all. If anything, Nori seemed the more nervous out of the two of them.

"You’d better not hurt him, are we clear?" Nori grunted. "I trust him to know what he feels for you, because young as he is, he knows his own mind, no matter how much some of his other relatives want to treat him as a child. So I’m trusting his decision, and I’m trusting that you know what you’re doing too. But if you hurt him, I will make you regret it."

Thorin nodded, and waited.

Until he realized that was it.

"Are you going to make more precise threats?" he asked.

"What? No, I’m… I’m trusting your imagination here," Nori explained, clearly surprised by the question.

"That just won’t do," Thorin protested. "If you were for example dating, let’s say, my eldest nephew…" Nori flinched, almost imperceptibly. "…then I would say that I trust his choices indeed, because he is an intelligent boy capable of making his own choice. But I would also add that while I also trust you up to a point, I will kill you slowly and painfully if you ever cause Fili any harm. I would mention that in my own way, I am just as skilled as you with a blade. I could also that in the past, Dwalin has sometimes been forced to work as an interogator, and that if you hurt my nephew, he would gladly put his knowledge to good use. I might add that I have enough power that if you survived my first moments of anger, I could have you put away in a dungeon deep in the mountain and make sure you never again saw any light, never again felt the wind, never again had anything in your life but the four walls of your cell and the knowledge that you should not have promised love to a boy if you are not capable of keeping that promise. These are things that I could tell you if our roles were inverted, and I had to be the one to remind that my kin isn’t unprotected."

Nori, pale as a sheet, nodded quickly. Thorin smirked, and patted him on the back.

"I’m glad we agree. And of course, I am perfectly aware that I will die in my sleep if I so much as make Ori cry… but I promise on my honour that my only intention toward your brother is to make him happy, and that I will do my best to never cause him any pain."

And, glad that things were clear between them, the king went back to his young lover, who had heard it all and was biting his hand not to laugh.


	82. Bilbo/Nori - trouble in Laketown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS FOR DOS
> 
> summary in author's notes uwu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nori and Bilbo get some time alone in the Master's house  
> Everything doesn't exactly go according to plan

Things weren’t right, not by far, but in the Master’s house there was food, hot food, in great quantities, as well as beer. Bilbo would have been perfectly happy with just that, but then Nori whispered to his ear that he’d found a bathroom, and the hobbit could have kissed him right there and then, which would have been awful.

No public kissing was the first rule they hadn’t laid, because they didn’t speak about whatever was happening between them. But unspoken rules were still _rules_.

Bilbo did, however, push Nori against a wall as soon as they arrived into an empty corridor. He wasn’t usually that aggressive, but he was tired, and he had drunk a little… and Nori had pinched his bum, which had called for retribution. They had been giggling like children by the time they had reached that bathroom, and the servant waiting for them there had given them a queer look.

“Is that your wife?” she had asked, pointing at Bilbo.

“Nah, he’s kin,” Nori retorted with a flirtatious smirk to the girl, pushing his hobbit inside before Bilbo could protest that anyone with their eyes could see he wasn’t a woman. He still told Nori exactly that once the door was closed behind them.

“Well, you’re travelling with dwarves, you don’t have as much beard as us, and you’re mighty pretty. Can’t blame her for getting ideas. Bet I know more than one chap who’d take you as his wife.”

“Ah. Ah. Keep that up, and I promise you that I’m washing alone,” Bilbo announced haughtily. He squeak when Nori grabbed him by the belt and pulled him to his chest.

“Now, that’d be a waste, pretty thing like you alone in that big tub,” the dwarf purred into his ear. “All that water just for you? And me the one who ordered the bath and all, most unfair.”

Bilbo laughed, and started undressing himself. Nori tried to help, but it just made everything more complicated, not that Bilbo minded much. The dwarf was good with his hands, and by the time they were both naked, the hobbit felt more than ready for a bit of fun.

* * *

 

When they were clean, they dried and dressed up again, Bilbo feeling more relaxed than he had been since they had left Beorn’s house. Nori’s skillful hands were always so good at making him feel better, and judging by the grin on the dwarf’s lips, the effect was mutual. He almost didn’t mind anymore that they were leaving at dawn for a mountain that they would have less than one day to climb.

“Hey, burglar, you dropped something,” Nori told him, bending down to catch a small golden ring. “Now, that’s rather pretty, where did you get that?”

Bilbo stopped breathing, and before he could think properly about it, he had grabbed Sting on the ground and was pressing it against Nori’s throat. He didn’t know who was the most surprised out of the two of them, but it didn’t matter, because he was the one with a sword in hand.

“Drop that.”

“Relax,” Nori laughed nervously. “I just picked it up for you, nothing more, no reason to…”

“Drop. That,” Bilbo growled, pressing his blade against his lover’s skin, almost enough to draw blood. He saw Nori stare at him in disbelief, then look at the ring in his hand, as if trying to understand… and Bilbo couldn’t allow him to understand. Nori would steal it it if he understood, and Bilbo couldn’t allow that because the ring was his and his only, and if that damn dwarf thought he could steal it from him…

A drop of blood pearled down Nori’s throat. Deep down inside, Bilbo knew it was wrong, worse than with the small spider in the forest, because his was Nori, who was a friend and more than a friend, Nori who had helped him all along, Nori whose kisses tasted of spices and bad smoking weed…

Nori who threw the ring toward Bilbo and crawled away looking terrified… and Bilbo knew he should have apologized for this, because he _liked_ that damn dwarf…

Instead, he knelt down to take his ring on the floor.

“It’s mine,” he spat, looking at the golden circle in his hand. “ _Mine_.”

“Yeah? Well keep that shit,” Nori retorted, voice shaking. “I just picked it up for you!”

“It’s mine,” Bilbo shouted, eyes snapping up to glare at the dwarf. “You had no right to touch it!”

“Won’t be the only thing I won’t be touching again, you fucking nutjob! Keep you fucking ring and go fuck it, because _I_ won’t be doing it again, trust me!”

Once more, Bilbo felt a tug inside him, a voice pushing him to apologize, to not let Nori grab his coat and leave, but Nori had _touched the ring_ , and that was _wrong_. So Bilbo didn’t move when the dwarf slam the door behind him, because he didn’t need him, didn’t need anyone or anything but his ring…

A ring that he dropped when the realization of what had happened hit him.

He had hurt Nori.

Over a piece of gold.

He had hurt Nori, and he would have killed him if Nori hadn’t given back the ring, just like he had killed that spider, and it was a terrifying thought.

But the worst, he realized as he tried to calm down and breathe again…

The worst, the very worst, was that if he was given another chance, he’d do the same again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say all you want about Thorin going mad in Erebor, or Thranduil being a dick...  
> The scene that scared me most in DoS was Bilbo hitting again and again a small spider even after it was dead, and then having a mini break down after he realized what he'd done uwu


	83. Nori/Fili - Aladdin AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what it says on the tin: Nori as Aladdin and Fili as Jasmine uwu

"Do as I say," the thief says (and he’s a thief, Fili is sure of that), and for some reason, the prince obeys.

The fact that the merchant before him has a huge sword in hand migh explain part of it. Fili never knew that apples were so expensive. Kili is the one they’re teaching about numbers and prices, whereas himself is stuck with being polite and well dressed and knowing every ceremony by heart…

"My sister’s very sick," the thief explains with a tragic sigh. "It’s in her head. Orc attack when she was young. Never been the same since that," he whispers to the merchant, making a complicated gesture with one hand that must have meant something for both of them, because suddenly, the broadbeam before them stares at Fili with as much pity as anger.

"She says she knows king Thorin."

"Yeah, that’s what she calls our neighbour’s pig," the thief claims, and Fili wonders if he should be offended on his uncle’s behalf for this. Considering their last conversation, he decides instead that the attack is rather deserved. "Poor girl."

"A shame, she’s so pretty," the merchant notes with a grin.

"Indeed she is," the thief confirms, slipping one arm protectively around Fili’s waist to drag him closer. "But all’s fine. Found her a doctor. Didn’t I, little sis? Soon, you’ll be as clear as a diamond."

"Oh, that’s so great!" Fili exclaims, jumping at his neck and kissing his cheek soundly. "Is this my doctor?" he asks, pointing at a large guard with a bald head who has been staring at them for a tad too long.

"No, pet, that’s trouble," the thief grunts, grabbing Fili’s hand. "Hope you can run fast."

"What?"

"Been a pleasure to meet you," the thief shouts to the merchant. "But we’re late for our appointement. Gotta get going and all that, see you ‘gain later, old boy!"

And with these words, the thief starts running, dragging Fili behind him while somewhere in the crowd, the guard starts shouting at them.

This is all so much more  _fun_  that a day in the palace.


	84. Bilbo/Thranduil (unfinished)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had started a small Bilbo/Thranduil thing a while ago, but then it turned out to not be so small... and then DoS happened and things just didn't work anymore in the film-verse, and I find it hard to write solely on the book-verse so...  
> Have some unfinished stuff?

Thranduil had seen hobbits before, of course, back in the days before Darkness fell unto his realm. He had rather liked them, too. Strange, merry little creatures, loving life so much that even the most heartbroken elves couldn’t help but smile in their presence.

They weren’t made for life in Arda, the little ones. Soft and quiet, whoever had designed them had had in mind a life of happiness without any hardships. A life that existed nowhere in Middle-Earth, a life that didn’t even exist in the West, or why would the Noldor have gone from there? And yet the hobbits lived without fear, finding joy in all things.

Their company had quieted some of the ghosts of Thranduil’s past.

Until the Darkness had fallen over his woods, stealing entire portions of his trees for its grim purpose, until even the elves themselves called their home the Mirkwoods.

The hobbits’ departure had felt like they had taken with them all the merriness that had subsisted in the elvenking’s heart.

They were so soft and delicate, he had always wondered if they had survived.

He had always assumed they hadn’t.

This world of theirs seemed too intent on destroying all good things to have allowed the little ones to live.

 

He’d been so surprised the first time Bard had mentioned the dwarves had a small creature with them, one the size of a child, but with the face of an adult.

It couldn’t be.

It had to be a very young dwarf, or a female one, maybe a human midget.

It couldn’t have been a hobbit. They had all died long ago.

Thranduil had forbidden himself to think about it. There was too much to do, the madness of dwarves to fight off, once more. How these dwarves had escaped his prisons was a mystery, but he felt their place was back there, in cells, where they couldn’t harm anyone _more_ than they already had.

He hope he would not have to see them die.

Which wasn’t the same as saying he wanted them to live.

He’d come to Esgaroth with his army to help the Men rebuild their town. When Bard had first spoken of going to Erebor to take the gold and use it to speed up the process by hiring men from neighbouring villages, or even dwarves from the Iron Hills, Thranduil had agreed. Some of the gold was his. Tributes paid to Thror. But Thror was dead, and so was all his line.

Or so the elvenking had hoped.

Finding the door of Erebor closed and defended had been a bad surprise. He wished these dwarves would just die, and leave honest folks in peace. If that meant having to sit before them and wait for them to starve, then so be it. Thranduil didn’t want to see them die. But he _would_ , if it was the only way to get rid of them.

Bard didn’t seem to mind. He’d lost friends in the dragon’s attack.

Dwarves brought death and destruction.

It was time for payback.

 

It was a surprise when, one night, some elves came into the tent were the elvenking and the future lord of Dale were discussing their plans to reconstruct the cities destroyed by the dragon, and told them the dwarves’ servant was in the camp, and wanted to talk to them. Bard didn’t seem overly surprised, claiming he remembered the creature indeed.

The Man was still surprised to see that servant dressed as an elf prince.

Thranduil was far more stunned to be face to face with a hobbit for the first time in centuries.

It was ridiculous, really, how very glad he was to know that their race had survived, that they still existed... though they must have changed much if they would ally themselves to dwarves, and act as warriors. It saddened him that the little ones had been forced to change, but of course, nothing soft and _good_ could survive in such a world.

And yet, they lived.

It was better than nothing.

It was a surprise, again, when the hobbit started talking.

He might have worn an armour and a sword, but his voice was the same as that of hobbits of old.

“Really, you know, things are impossible,” the hobbit claimed, trying to look serious but only appearing... sweet. At least, that was how it seemed to Thranduil. He had always liked it when the little ones tried to make themselves big and impressive (though he had learned that it was a bad idea to underestimate them when they did, and so he made sure to give that one attention).

“Personally, I am tired of the whole affair,” the hobbit continued. “I wish I was back in the West in my own home, where folk are more reasonable. But I have an interest in this matter -one fourteenth share, to be precise, according to a letter, which fortunately I believe I have kept.”

Thranduil almost smiled when the little one delicately took out a dirty piece of paper which he carefully unfolded before he proudly raised above his head for them all to see.

“A share in the profits, mind you,” he went on, rolling his eyes as if the whole thing was very silly to him. “I am aware of that. Personally, I am only too ready to consider all your claims carefully, and deduct what is right from the total before putting in my own claim. However you don’t know Thorin Oakenshield as well as I do now,” he assured them, his voice going cold, as if he were trying to contain his anger. “I assure you, he is quite ready to sit on a heap of gold and starve, as long as you sit here.”

“Well, let him!” said Bard. “Such a fool deserves to starve.”

Thranduil felt tempted to agree. It had been his plan from the start. He knew dwarves better than the hobbit -Bilbo Baggins, or so Bard had called him - seemed to think. He knew _that_ dwarf better than the hobbit ever would. Starving was all that the royal line of Erebor _deserved_.

But something in the hobbit’s countenance showed that he was of a different mind, and Thranduil found himself willing to listen to him.

Hobbits were soft and merry and carefree.

They were also often _right_ , in spite of their short lives and optimism.

“Quite so,” Bilbo said with icy politeness, his smile nothing short of condescending. “I see your point of view. At the same time, winter is coming on fast. Before long you will be having snow and what not, and supplies will be difficult -even more for elves I imagine. Also there will be other difficulties. You have not heard of Dain and the dwarves of the Iron Hills?”

Bard shrugged, as one who had heard of an old children’s tale, but was loath to admit it. Dwarves hadn’t come in these parts in many a year.

Thranduil remembered Dain very well. A spare in case Thror’s heirs should fall. Later on, a child soldier, forced into battle at the Moria, and one of the few young ones to have survived it, before being chosen as king by those who would no longer follow the main branch of the royal line into madness.

The elvenking had no love for him, but he had no reason to hate him yet.

“We have, a long time ago,” the elf admitted. “But what has he got to do with us?”

The hobbit smiled at him then.

A true, sincere, hobbitish smile, the likes of which Thranduil had seen in more years than his youngest son had lived, and it warmed his heart. He almost hated himself for it. The hobbit, soft and kind as he was, had chosen to travel with dwarves, he was an enemy. Remembering old friendships and long gone times were things he could not afford in such a moment, and in such company.

“I thought as much,” Bilbo sighed with a sad smile. “I see I have some information you have not got. Dain, I may tell you, is now less than two days’ march off, and has at least five hundred grim dwarves with him -a good many of them have had experience in the dreadful war dwarf and goblin wars, of which you have no doubt heard. When they arrive, there may be serious trouble.”

It was no surprise to hear Bard voice his suspicions at that. The Man accused the little one of giving threats, or of being a traitor, to the hobbit’s shock.

A ridiculous notion, the elf thought. The hobbit looked as honest a creature as ever would be, friend of the dwarves or not. There was something in his bearing, in his manner of speaking, that inspired trust.

Or maybe it was just the elvenking’s memories of the ways of his kind, as they were in the old days. Perhaps hobbits had learned to lie while they had gone away.

“My dear Bard!” squeaked Bilbo, quickly turning to Thranduil as if to ask for his support. “Don’t be so hasty! I have never met such suspicious folk! I am merely trying to avoid trouble for all concerned. Now I will make you an offer!”

“Let us hear it!” Bard and Thranduil said at once.

For what could a hobbit know that would help them, save them the trouble of a long siege or worse, a battle?

But instead of talking, the hobbit raised a hand to ask for their patience, while he rummaged through one of his pockets, taking out of it a small bundle which he started opening before them.

“You may see it!” He announced, “It is this!”

From the shreds of an old shirt, he took a glowing gem, holding it out for them to see.

Bard cried in surprise, and Thranduil couldn’t help a gasp. He had seen that stone before.

Thror’s Arkenstone, the thrice accursed stone that had been the first step toward his madness. The thing he’d dared to call a holy present from Aulë, a proof that his people had been blessed above all others. There were few things the elvenking hated as much as that gem, and all others were creations of Sauron and his master.

But his hatred for it was only equalled by the love the dwarf felt for the thing.

For the hobbit to have taken it and brought it to them was an act of courage such as Thranduil had rarely seen before, though the little one probably didn’t realize it yet. And that, too, had been a trait of hobbits of old, who refused danger for the sake of danger, but were unyielding when it came to doing the right thing, no matter the price.

It had been many centuries since he’d seen such courage.

He had missed it.

“This is the Arkenstone of Thrain,”Bilbo explained with a shaking voice, eyeing the stone with a distrust almost equal to Thranduil’s. “The Heart of the Mountain; and it is also the heart of Thorin,” he sniffed disdainfully, as if the idea of the dwarf loving so much the thing was ridiculous. Proof he didn’t know dwarves as well as he thought. “He values it above a river of gold. I give it to you. It will aid you in your bargaining.”

Ever the sensible man, Bard immediately asked if the hobbit if he had any right to possess the stone, let alone to give it away. When, as was to be expected, the little one gave a negative answer, Thranduil felt as if the cold hand of Mordor’s spectres were clutching at his heart.

He knew about dwarves, and about the line of Durin, more than the hobbit ever would. He had seen them hurt and kill, all for the love of dead stones and icy gold. He knew what they could do when they felt in their right, or just when they felt strong enough, and he knew that dwarves always felt in their right, always made sure there were enough of them.

Dwarves forgave even less easily than elves, and it would have taken much less than that theft to offend Thorin son of Thrain.

Should the dwarves ever see the hobbit again after such an act, the would certainly kill him, and in a most gruesome manner, to use him as a reminder for all that the royal line of Erebor was _back_ , and so were its habits of old. Justice was swift among the Naugrim, though it was rarely _just_.

But the hobbit didn’t seem to realize that, and he spoke of returning to his companions,as if his actions hadn’t condemned him before them.

Thranduil’s heart clenched once more. So hobbits hadn’t changed after all, still as strangely noble and fond of justice, still innocent and convinced that the rest of the world would see their good intention and appreciate them.

It had been far too many years since he had seen a live hobbit.

He would not lose him to dwarves too stupid to see what a wonderful creature they had dragged down with them.

“Bilbo Baggins!” he called firmly as the hobbit made for the door of the tent. “You are more worthy to wear the armour of elf-princes than many that have looked more comely in it. But I wonder if Thorin Oakenshield will see it so. I have more knowledge of dwarves in general than you have perhaps. I advise you to remain with us, and here you shall be honoured and thrice welcome.”

The little one seemed stunned that the elvenking would talk to him. That, too, reminded Thranduil of the hobbits of old, always friendly and cheerful, yes, but also admirative of the elves, as if they were some great wonder.

He supposed they were. But his fascination for the little ones had always been just as strong as theirs for the elves.

Still, it gave him hope. The hobbit looked so surprised and pleased to have Thranduil worry about him, that certainly he would change his mind, certainly he would remain there, were Thranduil could protect him...

But no, it would not be so. The hobbit, after a clear hesitation, decided that he had to go back, for the sake of the friend who had trusted him, and whose trust he had betrayed by coming to see Bard and Thranduil instead of keeping watch as he had promised.

 _Hobbits_.

Faithful to their word, and honest to a fault.

It was one of the many things Thranduil had always so loved about them.

It was what would kill that one.

 

Thranduil had little love for Mithrandir. Not because he was a wizard (Radagast was a perfectly tolerable neighbour, with a knowledge of plants and beasts that the elvenking respected) but because he was, and had long been, a friend of the elves who had gone west, and returned with evil in their hearts. High elves, they called themselves, giving themselves airs, because they had seen the Trees, and invented writing.

Thranduil had less kind names for them, and all their friends.

But Mithrandil ( _Gandalf_ , he called himself before Bard and the Men, and the elvenking did his best to use that name too) was for once a welcome sight, as he had come to offer his help. That alone would have been appreciated, though suspicious, but the wizard seemed so sincerely concerned about the fate of the hobbit, especially since Bilbo had chosen to return near the dwarves, that Thranduil felt he could attempt to trust him, in this matter at least. No one who had love for a hobbit could be entirely bad.

So when morning came, and Gandalf asked to be with them when they would negotiate with Thorin for peace, they agreed. Bard because he knew a tactical advantage when he saw one, Thranduil because he knew better than to try and refuse a wizard.

Things went about as bad as could be expected.


	85. Nori/Fili - proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili isn't sure he will survive his wounds after the battle of the five armies, so he asks Nori to marry him.  
> (this is actually a fun story)(I swear)

"Marry me," Fili said, and Nori wasn’t sure if he should have cried or laughed.

The prince had been badly wounded in that terrible battle against the orcs, and he was so pale and grey like the moon, him who used to be bright like the sun… even the gold of his hair had faded to a pale yellow, with spot of red blood and brown mud here and there.

In the end, the sound Nori made was both a snigger and a sob.

"Marry me," Fili repeated, his voice weak but firm. "I love you, and you love me. I want you to be with me for the rest of my life. Marry me."

"Not sure you’re in a state for it."

"I might die," Fili admitted with a sad smile. "The healer said I might not see another sunrise. Marry me."

"Princes don’t marry criminals."

They’d always known that. Nori had always made it clear that he knew that, knew that he had nothing to expect from their tumbles in the dark. All the could ever have was the pleasure they gave each other, and a friendship that they could never call love, not in public, not even to their brothers…

They’d both wanted to spend their lives together, they’d talked about it, and Fili had said once that if he couldn’t marry Nori then he wouldn’t marry anyone else either… 

Fili was young still, and he didn’t quite realize yet that his marriage wouldn’t be something he could decide for himself, that sooner or later Erebor would need an alliance with another kingdom…

"Tomorrow morning I might be a corpse rather than a prince," Fili sighed, closing his eyes. "I don’t think my uncle will mind that I’m a corpse married to his lover…"

Nori wasn’t so sure about that, because a prince’s husband would have had rights…

"I’m on my death bed," Fili rasped pathetically. "We wanted to be together until the end, and I love you… you said once you’d have married me if I weren’t a prince… well I’m not a prince today, I’m just a wounded dwarf who loves you."

"You are a spoiled brat who just can’t take no for an answer," Nori replied fondly, taking his hand. "Fine. I’ll get us witnesses. Try not to die until I come back."

"I’ll do my best."

It was easy enough to find someone willing to help. Dori was a romantic soul, and Balin was surprisingly fine with the idea of helping one of his princes wed a common criminal… but it was Fili’s last wish after all, and Balin took these things seriously.

It wasn’t the greatest ceremony ever, and no prince of Erebor had been married before in front of only two witnesses, or in the rags of an armor… but it didn’t really matter. Not when Fili almost looked healthy again as they pronounced their vows, not when the prince’s lips weren’t so cold under Nori’s…

Princes didn’t marry criminals, but Nori was glad that  _his_  prince had. Their wedding might only last a day or two before Fili returned to the stone, but…

"My goodness, what are you all doing in here?" a voice exclaimed from the tent’s entrance. Nori turned, and saw a short, stout dwarf glaring at them all, a healer no doubt. Ze didn’t look too happy. Ze looked even less happy when Fili spoke.

"I just got married," the prince proudly announced, and his voice didn’t waver quite as much as before.

"Did you now? Well, no wedding night for you until at least a week or two, boy, and even then, you’ll have to go slow." the healer turned to Nori, glaring at him. "You’re the new husband, uh? Well, you be careful with that one. He should heal just fine if he gets rest, but he needs his rest, you hear me?"

Nori frowned, and glanced at Fili who looked away.

"Didn’t you say you were dying?"

"I said I might die," the prince coughed. "Which is true. Anyone might die, at any moment."

"You said the healer told you that you would not live until tomorrow!"

"Ze did say it."

"Yes I did," the healer confirmed, biting back a smirk. "I said that if you didn’t stop trying to leave your bed, I’d have murdered you before tonight."

Nori glared at hir, then at Fili… 

And burst out laughing, messily kissing his new husband’s forehead.

"You little  _shit_ ,” he sniggered. “You absolute little shit, I can’t believe I fell for it.”

Fili frowned worriedly, unsure if Nori was angry or not… and just to prove that he wasn’t, the thief kissed him soundly. Well he pulled back, his prince was grinning.

"Don’t be too hard on yourself," Fili told him. "Anyone would have fallen for it… I mean, I was desperate here. You are your stupid idea that I could only marry some stupid noble… Had to show you that I only wanted you, right?"

"By tricking me into marrying you."

"Your fault. You’re a bad influence."

"I’ll show you a bad influence…"

"He needs rest!" the healer shouted, grabbing Nori by the ear and dragging him out of the tent, pushing Balin and Dori with hir other hand. "You’ll influence him another day!"

Nori grumbled against this  _awful_  treatment, but really, he didn’t care if he couldn’t stay with Fili for the moment.

They had the rest of their life together, and that meant many, many years ahead of them.


	86. Ori/Fili/Tauriel/Kili - elven inventions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori and Fili are way too attractive and particularly generous with their affections, and as a result Kili has never managed to have sex (who would want him when they could have them?)  
> (Tauriel, that's who)
> 
> implied casual sex and heavily implied sibling incest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a reason for this  
> But I have no excuses  
> I regret nothing

Fili and Ori shared a look, and Kili groaned.

“Oh M'al please, not again.”

“What did we do now?” Fili asked, far too innocently.

“You looked at Bard, that's what you did.”

“He's the new king of a neighbouring kingdom,” Ori claimed, eyeing the human hungrily. “Of course we are looking at him. I was wondering how to make him feel comfortable during his stay here, and I'm sure Fili was thinking the same.”

Kili glared at him. “That, my friend, is exactly the problem. I know how you make people comfortable.”

His brother slipped an arm around his shoulder, dragging him closer.

“Jealous, maybe? You know, if you ever want to get comfortable, we're more than available... It would be our pleasure.”

Ori snorted at that, and stepped close to the younger prince, probably ready to add something to that offer... but Kili was having none of it, and he quickly escaped his brother's hold.

“I hate you both,” he announced proudly. “You are immoral hobbits who would shag anything with a pulse.”

“Hey, now that's not fair!” Fili protested.

“Yeah, we're not that bad!”

“We'd shag anything with a pulse and that is capable consenting to it.”

“We're not monsters,” Ori proudly concluded. “And since you're not consenting, we'll respect that, and go see if king Bard is doing anything tonight.”

“He's having diner with Thorin,” Kili dryly announced.

“Then he'll be in great need of some fun distraction after that,” Fili retorted with a wink. “If you'll excuse us...”

Kili groaned again, and watched them saunter toward the human king. They effortlessly managed to catch his attention, and...

And Kili stopped watching.

He knew how the rest of the story went.

He was one of only two people in the world to have given that story a different ending, and sometimes, that thought was rather depressing.

 

“I love them, I really do, it's just... they do that thing, you know, and it's so annoying, you know?”

Kili gave Tauriel a hopeful look, but she only frowned in confusion and shook her head.

“What is that thing that angers you so much?”

“They sleep with everyone,” Kili explained. “And by sleep I mean that they have sex.”

“Yes, I assumed that was what you meant. Everyone?”

“Everyone.”

“That's a lot of people,” Tauriel said, whistling in admiration, and Kili had the impression that maybe she was teasing him a bit.

“Okay, so maybe not everyone,” the prince conceded. “They have standards. They will fuck anyone who's even vaguely attractive. Or get fucked by them. They're not difficult on that point. And I wouldn't mind, really, only, every time I see someone I like... every time! Ori and Fili happen. And they get laid, but I don't.”

Tauriel tapped on his shoulder in sympathy, before a delighted smile appeared on her lips.

“I hope the question will not make you angry, but are you maybe saying that you are... inexperienced?”

Kili groaned painfully, and nodded.

“Can't blame people though,” he sighed. “Given a choice between them and me, I'd chose them two. I don't know how it shows for other races, but for dwarves they are awfully beautiful. Well, actually, Fili is painfully handsome, and Ori is impossibly pretty. So no matter what people want, one of them is sure to fit their tastes. Unless someone wants plain and awkward, in which case it'd be my hour of glory, but it's never happened yet.”

“Hm... they offered their... talent to me, once.”

“I know. They told me. It was the first time they were both rejected, I think,” Kili sniggered. It was maybe a little mean of him to have enjoyed so much their disappointment, but at the same time, he couldn't really pity them, not when they had once again tried to hit on someone he had a crush on.

“I considered accepting, for a moment,” Tauriel admitted. “I suppose I have this in common with them, I am rather... open minded when it comes to choosing a partner to share pleasure with, and I have more experience than many other elves... but I have never yet lain with a dwarf, and so their suggestion had some appeal.”

“Ah. Why did you refuse then?”

Tauriel smiled warmly at him, one of her hands brushing through his hair.

“They did not fit my tastes,” she explained. “I do not care much for the painfully handsome or the impossibly pretty. But I do have a fondness for people who think themselves plain and awkward, even when they are not.”

“Oh,” Kili just said.

Then the meaning of her words hit him.

“Oh! You... you mean!”

She laughed, but not unkindly. “I mean that if you desire a first chance to share another's bed, and if I wish for a first experience with one of Aulë's children, we might find an agreement, little prince. It is why I did not accept your brother and his friend.”

“Because you'd rather have had me?” Kili asked, breathless at the idea that anyone could chose him over Fili and Ori. Tauriel nodded, and it took all of his self control not to kiss her right then. “Oh, I'd be so happy... I like you terribly, and you're so nice and pretty!”

She smiled, and leant to chastely press her lips against his. When she pulled back, her grin was almost predatory.

“Trust me, my little prince. I will soon be even nicer to you.”

 

Kili had known he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret from Fili and Ori.

He hadn't wanted to, anyway.

He felt intensely proud of himself for the whole business: he'd finally had sex, with someone who wasn't these two idiots, and who wanted him, and who had even rejected them. Life was just wonderful.

“You should have told us you were into girls,” Fili grumbled afterwards. “And you know, for the record, either of us would have let you fuck him, so...”

“I'm not just into girls, and I like being fucked, for your information. I just didn't want you two to be my firsts, that's all. I don't mind doing it with you now.”

“How can you know you like being fucked?” Ori wondered. “Does Tauriel... well, that is...”

“It's not polite to discuss what's in someone else's pants,” Kili cut him. “But anyway, she told me it doesn't matter for elves. They have invented that thing you see, and it's like a cock made of wood, and if you don't have a real one, you can attach it on your body with straps, and then anyone can fuck anyone, and it's a lot of fun for everyone involved. Tauriel said it was called a strap-on.”

Ori applauded in admiration. “Elves are clever! Oh, we need to know more about that! Only, just imagine getting fucked by Dwalin with that! Kili, you have to ask Tauriel to tell us more about it! Forget the Silmarils, strap-ons are the real greatest thing the elves ever invented!”

“Go ask her yourself,” the young prince retorted with a smug smile. “Maybe this time she'll say yes.”

“You're enjoying this,” his brother grumbled.

“That I am. But not as much as I enjoyed my time with her. You two might be good, or so I've heard, but Tauriel... she is the very best.”

Fili frowned. “I might take that as a challenge.”

“Maybe you should.”

Ori laughed. “And who would be the judge then, to decide which one of us is the better lover?”

“Why, for the sake of science, I think I volunteer,” Kili announced, trying to make it sound as if he were doing them a great favour.

“Then we just need to convince your elvish friend,” the scribe decided. “You must help us though. Clearly she is more sensible to your charms than to ours, and so we will need your full support for this.”

“My friend, you have it.”

 

“Oh M'al help me,” Ori sighed much, much later. “I was right. Strap-ons are the very best thing the elves ever invented.”

Tauriel laughed at that.

It had started as a contest to see who was the better lover. At least, it had been their excuse. But then Tauriel had gotten her wooden cock, and both Ori and Fili had been so impressed by it that they had begged to have it used on them, after which they had shown the elf a trick or two of their own... until Kili had whined something about feeling neglected, which had prompted the three of them to direct all their attention to him...

It had made Kili a very happy dwarf indeed.

“You haven't seen all elven inventions yet,” Tauriel chuckled. “We have a few others that might be of interest to you, master scribe. Shall I show them to you someday?”

“Only if we get to show you a couple things dwarves use,” Fili sleepily grunted, comfortably snuggled against his brother. “We got a few too.”

“It might take a while to try them all, your highness.”

“Then let's never leave that room again,” Kili suggested, lazily kissing the elve's neck. “All in favour, say 'Aye'.”

“Aye.”

“Yes.”

“Mmngf.”

“Then it's decided,” the youngest prince sighed contentedly. “We're staying in bed forever.”


	87. Ri brothers - reading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Baby Ori! Interacting with his brothers?

"Keep an eye on him boys," Ari ordered from the door. "I shouldn’t be too long. Nori, do not feed him sweets. Dori, don’t try to teach him to read. And do try to not kill one another, please."

Both of her older sons protested loudly that they would never do any such things, but Ari had already closed the door. Immediately, Dori went to fetch the little set of wooden letters he kept in a box, and he went to put them in front of Ori. Nori made a noise that was either a sigh or a snigger, but Dori decided to ignore it entirely and sat in front of his youngest brother.

"Very well," he told Ori with as serious a tone as he could manage. "As I told you the other day, these are letters. We use them to make words. Words are the thing we use to talk. Do you remember that?"

Ori’s small brown eyes stared at him blankly. Dori decided it meant that the little one had understood.

"Very well. Now look here, this is an "a", and here we have an "m", and another "a", and now a "d". And all together, that gives us the word ‘amad’. Can you repeat it? Am-ad."

Ori’s eyes looked down at the pieces of wood, but he didn’t say anything.

"Come on, just try," Dori insisted. "See, ‘a’ and ‘m’ makes ‘am’. Can you repeat ‘am’?"

The child’s eyes left the letters to look at his brother, his face perfectly blank. Somewhere behind them, Nori sniggered.

"Shush you!" Dori grunted, turning to Nori with a frown. "Just because you can’t read doesn’t mean he should be illiterate too!"

"I’m not illiterate."

"Reading only your own name and the words ‘inn’ and ‘prison’ _doesn’t_  count as literacy,” Dori countered. “Besides, he’s a lot more clever than you are, he’s just shy. The other day, he learned all the letter.”

"Sure he did," Nori laughed.

Dori harrumphed, and turned again to his youngest brother. He couldn’t help a cry when he realized that Ori had grabbed the box of letters and had started playing with them… and then he cried again when he saw what his brother had done. Nori, intrigued, came to have a look, probably hoping to laugh again… but instead, he whistled in admiration.

“Okay, you were right,” he told Dori. “He  _is_  a lot smarter than me.”

They shared a look, and stared at their little brother, who looked back with a huge smile. On the ground before him, next to the word ‘amad’, were written his brothers’ names and his own.


	88. Ori/Dwalin at a tavern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> give me fluffy Dwori in a tavern because I’m grumpy and I need some fluff!

Ori managed to get back to their table with two pints, but he almost didn’t, and very nearly fell right before reaching his seat. Dwalin caught him just in time, and grunted a few insults at the dwarf who had pushed Ori, but he was already gone.

"I really didn’t think there’d be so many people," Ori grumbled, sitting next to Dwalin and dragging his chair as close as he could. "Why are all these people even here?"

"New cook," Dwalin replied, putting one arm around Ori’s shoulders. "One who was trained by Bombur, back in Ered Luin.

Ori rested his head against Dwalin’s chest, and sighed.

"I had rather hoped for a quiet evening… Work’s been awful today, everyone was nosy and demanding and I swear I will  _kill_  the next person who tell me that finding their family’s personal archives is top priority.”

Dwalin snorted, and kissed the top of Ori’s head.

"We can go home if you prefer. If you’ve had such a bad day, I could be convinced to give you a massage."

"You make it sound like such a sacrifice," Ori retorted with a smile, grabbing his pint and emptying half of it.

"Tis a terrible sacrifice indeed to get my hands on a lovely naked little scribe," Dwalin claimed theatrically. "But I would do it. For Erebor. Can’t have you threatening to kill nobles like that."

Ori laughed, and snuggled close.

"Let’s stay a little more," he decided. "I want to have a taste of whatever food they have that’s so good. And then, if you’re still in the mood, I rather would like to leave my body in your competent hands. For the good of Erebor."

Dwalin laughed, and kissed his lover’s temple.

"Aye,  _for Erebor_.”


	89. Dori&Nori - magic trick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Nori being sneaky and making sweet disappear just right under Dori's nose

"I have magic," Nori proudly announced, and his brother rolled his eyes. "I do! It’s real magic. Let me show you!"

Dori almost protested that he was busy, as was perfectly clear from the thread in his hand and the dress on his knees… but then Nori stared at him with  _those_ eyes, and he just couldn’t resist. No one resisted the eyes.

"Fine, fine, show me… but be quick. I have work to do."

The smile on Nori’s face was so bright it made Dori suspicious, for which he felt guilty. Just because his little brother often had something naughty on his mind didn’t mean he could just be enthusiastic about something once in a while.

And really, Nori must have worked terribly hard at his magic tricks, because he was rather good at them. He made small coins disappear from his hands, only to find them again in Dori’s hair. He changed a small handkerchief turn into a mice, and he turned a couple dice into chunks of coal. Dori was impressed, and he didn’t hesitate to say so.

"Thank you," Nori said with a proud little nod. "Now, for my next magic, I will need sweets. The good toffee ones, not the awful ones that stick everywhere."

Dori didn’t even hesitate, and went to fetch the sweets. Nori wasn’t allowed these, because they made him far too excited, but his brother was too curious about his brother’s newfound talent to care about that. Nori was awfully good at stage magic, and if they could somehow find someone to train him…  _everyone_ loved a good trick…

"Thank you," Nori said when he was handed the small box with the sweets. "Now, for this particular trick, I will also need a piece of silk. Do we have that, Dori?" he asked, his voice more hesitant as he broke out of character.

"I think we do… just let me check in Mama’s room."

It was fairly easy to find what Nori needed, and in the matter of moments, Dori was back in the main room, carrying a strip of grey silk…

Only to find the room empty, and the box of sweets in a similar state, while he could have sworn that Nori’s laughter resonated from the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now have a HUGE need for fics where Nori didn't learn to be a thief as such, but instead learned stage magic and then started using it for less legal purposes when money became too much of a problem uwu


	90. Dori&Nori - hairbraiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dori & Nori, comforting and hairbraiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentions of character death  
> and not so subtle references to prostitution

The comb felt strangely good in his hair, and each time it went through his hair, Nori cried a little less. Not that Dori was very good at brushing his hair, compared to usual. He pulled too hard sometimes, and his hands were shaking… but at least it was there, and that was all Nori needed.

"You’ll have to be good to mother," Dori whispered with a trembling voice. "It won’t be easy for her, she will have to work a lot more now. You will have to be good. Promise you’ll be good."

"I’ll be good, Dori," Nori promised. Even with all of his sadness, a part of him wanted to yell that he  _always_  tried to be good anyway, he really tried, and it wasn’t fair that it never worked… But Dori looked so sad, and Nori didn’t want him to get angry on top of it.

"I’ll probably have to start working," Dori sighed, and Nori frowned. His brother had only just started learning to embroider, he couldn’t really have proper work already. Dori had told him that it would be years before he could do more than excercises. "You’ll have to be very nice if you stay home alone, Nori."

"Will I have to work too?"

There was a particularly sharp pull on his hair, and this time Nori protested. Dori kissed the top of his head.

"Sorry. And no, you won’t have to work. You are too young anyway. No one would want you."

"Thrun works, and she’s younger than me. She helps her sister at…"

"No  _respectable_  place would want you,” Dori growled, and Nori regretted mentioning Thrun. Dori didn’t like her, for some reason, even though she was nice, and often got small gifts for helping at the brothel (which, according to Thrun, was a place where rich dwarves went to wrestle with very pretty dwarves, and the rich ones always looked happy when they left, though the pretty ones weren’t always so happy).

"Bofur works in the mines, and I’m almost as old as him," Nori quickly suggested instead.

"Do you  _want_  to work?” Dori asked.

Nori hesitated. Work didn’t sound like fun, but…

"I want to help mama and you. I want to be  _good_.”

Dori stared at him, and more tears threatened to flow at the corner of his eyes… but Nori didn’t get to see them, because suddenly his brother was hugging him far too tight, ruining Nori’s hair again. Nori didn’t really mind.

It just meant that Dori would have to brush his hair again. And that was good because really, he was in no hurry to go to their father’s funeral.


	91. Dori&Nori - Demon/angel AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To force myself to write a little more regularly, I'm doing an AU meme on tumblr. I'll post here the ones I'm most happy with... starting with this one uwu

"Do we  _have_  to meet here?” Dori asked, glaring at the little pub they were in, as if it had personnally offended him. Nori supposed it had. The very fact that such places existed were an offence to the delicate tastes of the person he’d once called brother. Which was exactly why Nori always chose such places when he wanted to meet Dori.

Of course, since his brother in return always forced him to dress up and go to stupidly posh places with food that didn’t taste of anything, little cakes that were too sweet and bloody tea everywhere, Nori felt he could be forgiven. He wasn’t the only one to be a damn brat.

"They make a great fish and chips," Nori said, and he always laughed at the way Dori glared at him.

"I did not come here to have an unsanitary lunch," Dori announced. "You said it was something important."

"Aye, ‘tis. My people… they think they might have found Ori."

"You’re joking," Dori gasped, breathless. "How… it’s been so long… where?"

Nori shrugged. “Didn’t give me the details, did they? Lucky I even got to know this, because turns out, kid never was lost. They just got him a job. Inflitrate the humans, influence them… that sort of things. Use one of them to change them, you know the stuff.”

"Your people are still doing that? I thought you’d given up on it. We certainly did. Never works. It’s a waste of time to try to change humans one by one. They’re too stupid for it."

Nori didn’t take the bait. It wasn’t as if he didn’t agree (humans were a thing he didn’t understand as a whole, though he appreciated a few of their more clever ideas… and he knew Dori did too, though they disagreed on what counted as a clever idea), and they had more important things to discuss.

"Again, that’s not my division, so I don’t know if we’re still sending new people," Nori sighed. "But what I do know is that at the time of the rebellion, there were people among the mortals, trying to… elevate their souls already, or some crap like that. And they got stuck here, and since no one really ever knew if they were alive, or if they’d chosen a side or something, they never got called back, and they just kept working. And working. And working."

Dori was silent a moment, and Nori allowed it. It had come to a shock to him too. Their little brother, alive… maybe. Nothing was sure yet, it was just something he’d heard… it was a fool’s hope, and yet it was more than they’d had in centuries.

"I’m going to look for him, of course," Dori said.

"Of course. And I am, too. By right, he belongs with my people."

"You were never able to keep an eye on him. That’s how we ended in this mess, if you remember. I asked you to keep watch on him for a year, a miserable year, and you lost him."

"And now I’ll find him again," Nori retorted with a smirk. "He’s one of ours. Deep at heart, you know he’s one of ours."

That got him another glare.

"If you are an example of what your people are like," Dori spat, "then I think he’ll be more at home with mine, really."

"Maybe. It’ll be like the good old days then… how about we bet?"

"What do you mean?"

Nori smirked. “Whoever finds him first gets to keep him. And… I wont intervene in your plans for ten years, nor ask anyone to do so for me. Deal?”

"He’s not a thing to be kept," Dori replied coldly, brushing his thumb against his cheek as he always did when he had to think about a problem. "Ten years, you say?"

"Ten. Ten years of freedom, and Ori to influence however you like for as long as he’ll let you."

"Very well. We have a bet then. Ten years, and Ori in the power of the winner."

They shook hand, the contact always painful now that they belonged to opposite sides, but it was the only way to turn the bet into a binding contract. Dori left soon after, probably to have a shower. Nori stayed, and enjoyed his lukewarm beer. His employers would be proud of him for that one.

He’d brought them back Ori, who was such a good element, and he’d won ten years of relative peace in the city that was under his protection, and he’d done it by tricking one of the most powerful demons of all times…

And if that made him every bit of a bastard… well, no one had ever said that angels had to be  _nice_ , did they?


	92. Ori/Fili - coffee shop AU

The girl came there every day.

She probably wasn’t much younger than Fili, but the barrista had still taken to calling her ‘the girl’. Partly because she didn’t know her name. Mostly because it helped her put some distance, and as long as she could trick herself into thinking that the girl was too young, she wouldn’t be tempted to, say, go flirt and try to give her number to a perfect stranger.

A very cute perfect stranger.

With a sweet smile as she read her books, and an ass that, in Fili’s humble opinion, should be carved in marble and put in a museum because it was…

"Hi!" the girl said, making Fili jump. She looked around. Dwalin was cleaning the expresso machine a bit to the side, but other than that, there was only Fili there. Which meant the girl was talking to her. Which was strange because she hadn’t finished yet the cup of tea that Dwalin had served her.

"Hi. Can I help?"

The girl nodded, blushing furiously, and she pushed on the counter a crumpled piece of paper, before running back to her seat. Fili stared at the paper, unsure what to do. The way the girl had dropped it, it might have been a bomb. But it came from the girl, and it couldn’t be entirely bad, so Fili neatly laid it flat to read what was on it.

> Mine’s Ori, I think you’re cute too. Here’s my number, fell free to call!

Fili felt her entire face heat up. A phone number. The girl’s.  _Ori’s_. Who thought that Fili was cute. Who wanted Fili to call her. Ori.

"Eh, so it worked," Dwalin commented, looking over her shoulder. "Knew that you girls just needed a little push."

"What?"

The tall man smiled (grinned. Smirked.  _Smugly_ , too.)

"Gave her your name and number and a comment or two on her receipt," Dwalin announced. "I think I copied your handwriting pretty well, too."

"I hate you," Fili gasped, her face hotter than if she’d been on the sun.

"I’m getting you a date."

"I love you, but I hate you."

Dwalin just snorted, and shoved a damp cloth in her hands.

"Yeah, you hate me. And the table next to miss cutie is a mess, so why don’t you go take care of that, eh? I’ll handle the counter until you’re back."

"I still hate you," Fili muttered, but she was grinning too much and Dwalin just laughed again.


	93. Kili/Nori - orphan AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: Kili would be 12/13 (maybe a bit younger), Nori is 16/17, so there's an age difference that I know can make people uncomfortable? nothing even remotely sexual happens between them though

They adopted Fili, but not him.

No one told him why, just that he should be happy for his brother, that it was selfish of him to cry and miss him when Fili finally had a family.

But Kili had never known a life without his brother, and it was killing him. He needed Fili, needed him more than anything. Fili had always been there. Fili had helped him when their parents died, when their grandfather disappeared, when their uncle couldn’t take them in. They were left alone and abandoned and unwanted, but at least they were together… until a couple had come and taken Fili with them, but not Kili.

Kili who had understood what it meant, and the others kids understood too, because they needed someone more miserable than themselves to make life bearable. And they all understood that Kili was that child no one would ever want.

His life would have become hell after that, if Nori hadn’t taken him under her protection.

No one knew why. She was one of the oldest kids, on that wouldn’t stay much longer in the orphanage, and everyone knew that she wasn’t nice. She was as dangerous as a child could be, and what made her more dangerous was that she’d never been caught. Nori hated everyone, children and caretakers, and they all knew that she was to be left alone. She never took part in their disputes, never chose sides. Nori was alone.

But one day, a bunch of kids had thrown Kili to the ground and were kicking him. He was crying, and begging them to stop, and when Nori walked pass them, he begged her to help him. And she did. And from that day on, Kili was under her protection. It took a while for the other children to understand it, because Nori was _alone_ , but they caught on, eventually. And Kili, unwanted and unneeded and _unwantable_ as he was, found that he no longer was alone.

Not that Nori was that great of a friend. He was under her protection, but she rarely stayed near him, and they didn’t exactly talk. It wasn’t at all like having Fili with him, and since now the other kids avoided him, Kili almost wished sometimes that Nori wouldn’t protect him…

But still, there were nights… she’d come and steal him from his bed, drag him into one of her hiding places. On these nights, she fed him juices and sweets and let him read pretty books that had other children’s names written inside.

These nights didn’t happen often, but they made Kili happy, and it was easier to bear the rest after that.

"Why are you nice to me?" he dared to ask on such a night. "Why me? There’s tons of nicer kids, more clever or funnier or prettier…"

"I know what it’s like to be left behind," Nori said. "I know what it’s like to be unwanted. And when you called for help… you reminded me of my brother. He was the world to me. They both were, actually."

"You have two brothers?" Kili asked, never knowing she’d even had _one_ before that day.

Something about Nori’s face lit up briefly, before her mood turned dark. “Yeah. Dori was already an adult when we lost our parents, and he wanted to keep us, he tried, because he’s the best, you know. He’s strong and kind and clever, and he’s just the best but they wouldn’t let him keep us. Too young, they said. So Ori and I got sent here. But Ori…” she stopped for a moment, and breathed deeply. “Ori, he was adopted within two months. He was the sweetest child ever, so cute and nice and well behaved, he was just as good as Dori and so wonderful, and… that’s when I realized.”

"That no one who would you compared to your brothers," Kili whispered, thinking of Fili… but when he looked again at Nori, he frowned. "But’s that shit!" he exclaimed. "You’re different from them, but you’re great in your own way! I sure like you! I like you a lot, and I’m sure even if I met your brothers, I’d still like you! You’re not sweet, and you’re not always nice, but you’re kind, and you’re not cruel for nothing, and you’re clever and pretty!"

His outburst surprised her… though to be fair, Kili too was surprised by it. But the idea that Nori could see herself as anything but wonderful… it was unbearable. She was the best person in her life, right after Fili. She was his friend, she was…

She was kissing him.

It didn’t last long enough for Kili to figure out if he liked it or not, but that it happened at all was a shock. He’d never thought Nori would be the sort to kiss anyone, and he’d never really though of kissing anyone himself. But he didn’t really mind that it had happened, and so before Nori could run away, as she seemed about to do, he leant forward and kissed her too.

He didn’t know if he liked her that way, and he was fairly sure she didn’t know it either. But in that moment, hidden in a cupboard with empty cups at their feet and sweets scattered around them, it felt right to be kissing.

And for a few minutes, Kili didn’t worry about being unwanted.


	94. Ori/Kili/(others) Soulmate Markings AU

"Well, that’s inconvenient," Kili said weakly, staring at the mark on Tauriel’s wrist. "I mean. I mean. I mean I think you’re very nice of course, but that’s just not going to work."

The elf looked at him in surprise. When the dwarf had asked her if elves too had marks, that wasn’t the reaction she’d imagined.

"Here’s my mark, see?" Kili explained, baring his own wrist to show a dark shape exactly identical to Tauriel’s. "Only, you see, I’ve got that thing with Ori… I know he’s not my other half meant by the Maker and all, but he’s sweet and strong and a lot of fun to be with, and I don’t want to not be with him."

"Doesn’t he have a soulmate waiting for him, though?" Tauriel asked. She’d never put much thought to the idea of finding her supposed other half, but she’d heard enough stories, seen enough couples, to know that people weren’t really supposed to decide that their marks were just an inconvenience.

But Kili just shrugged, covering his wrist again. “Yeah, we’ve talked about it. His soulmate is Dwalin, only Dwalin doesn’t want a lover, and Ori doesn’t want him as a lover, ‘cause he agrees that we’re really so nice together, you know? So we’ve got an agreement, all three of us. Works just fine.”

"Until I came in the picture."

The young dwarf nodded and sighed, clearly unhappy with that new development. Tauriel wondered if she should have felt offended to be rejected that way, but on the whole she had to admit that it _was_ inconvenient. In the couple hours she’d known Kili, she’d started liking him, but she couldn’t really imagine falling in love with him. Especially if it meant breaking the relationship he already had…

"We could decide to just be friends," she suggested hesitantly. "That would suit me better, I think. Not that we’re in a situation where anything else can be considered," she added, knocking on the cell’s bars with a half-smile.

Kili sniggered. “Yeah, not the best place to start a romance. But I think I’d like to have you as a friend. What you did against the spiders… that was awesome.”

"Thank you. I hope I’ll get to see you fight too, someday."

"Oh, I’m sure you will," Kili laughed. "I just keep getting in trouble lately. Maybe you’ll be around next time it happens."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am such a sucker for Soulmates AU. Especially when things don't work according to plan, or people don't like what fate is telling them their love life will be like or they have to find ways to deal with pre-existing relationships or JUST ANY SORTOF SOULMATE AUS I LOVE THEM ALL I WANT TO WRITE THEM ALL GOSH


	95. Nori/Fili first romantic kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Norfi first romantic kiss after all the lustful ones they shared along the way

Fili leaned toward Nori, his hands shaking slightly, and…

"You know," Nori said against his lips, "I don’t think I even remember how to kiss someone while not in the middle of sex."

Fili snorted, and then started laughing, and the mood was utterly ruined because Nori started laughing too. Before long they were both out of breath. They tried to calm down, but made the mistake of looking at each other and started laughing again. They ended up sitting on the ground side by side, trying to catch their breath. Not an easy thing to do, because the smallest thing made them snigger once more.

"You’re such a prat," Fili said affectionately. "I swear to Mahal, I don’t even know why I like you so much."

"I such cock like a pro?"

Fili laughed softly, and leaned to rest his head against Nori’s shoulder.

"Sucked me so well that you accidentally got to my heart then? Sounds like something you’d do, yeah."

It was Nori’s turn to chuckle, and he pressed his lips against the prince’s temple.

"Couldn’t let a nice cock like that get away from me, and you’re attached to it, so…"

"Fucking prat."

"Yeah, I like doing that too. Especially if the prat is question is short with blonde hair and a skin of old gold."

"Poet."

"Thief. I’d fuck gold if I could, and you’re the next best thing."

Fili laughed again, louder, but the sound died in his chest when Nori’s lips pressed against his. It was soft, and strangely tender. Entirely unlike anything they’d shared so far. After the biting and bruising and sucking that had qualified all their previous kisses, this one felt painfully delicate, a butterfly in a hurricane.

It felt like a bad idea.

And both of them had always had a talent for these.


	96. Ri family- Handmade

Dori knitted, Ari embroidered, Nori made lace, and Ori enjoyed the spoils.

He was perfectly happy with that, of course.

People sometimes felt sorry for him, with that huge, uneven jumper he wore all the time, and he’d had acquaintances tell him that he should stand for himself and stop indulging Dori. Friends knew better. Friends knew that Ori adored the ugly old thing, because it was so warm and comfortable, and because it had been the very first jumper his brother had finished for him. It had been even bigger back then, enough so that Ori could hide inside of it when he wanted some quiet. Dori had made other things since then, prettier ones, but that was still Ori’s favourite. If it wasn’t the best jumper in the entire world, then _nothing_ was.

The same people who felt sorry about his jumper usually had to comment about his tunics too. They were delicately embroidered with drawings and symbols. Some of them were magical protection, others were just meant to be pretty. In any cases, people said, embroidered clothes were for children, and Ori wasn’t a child anymore, and he would be so pretty if only he dressed a little better, and little more maturely. But friends, true friends, knew that Ori was the one who asked for these decorations. He chose the thread, and the drawings, and while his mother embroidered everything he owned, Ori would read aloud her favourite stories because she had never managed to figure out letters, or he would invent new ones just for her.

People who sneered at Ori’s dressing style did not know about Nori’s lace, however. They had no reason to. Because what Nori made for his little brother was delicate, frilly underwear of multicoloured lace that made the young scribe look like a beautiful little sweet, or a delicious dessert, and anyone who laughed at his jumper or his tunic did not _deserve_ to ever see something that pretty.


	97. Bifur/Bilbo - invisible shenanigans

Bifur looked where Bilbo had been standing with a smirk, and the hobbit glared at him. A useless thing to do, since he had his ring on, but the dwarf must have guessed what he was doing and laughed.

/Why are you doing this already?/ Bifur asked, signing slowly for Bilbo’s sake.

“To avenge you,” Bilbo said haughtily, grimacing at the memory of what Otho had dared to say.

/I’m almost sure you are more angry about it than me/ the dwarf pointed out. /If you just want a chance to play a trick on him, do it. He is insufferable./

Bilbo laughed had that, and nodded, but his amusement didn’t reach his face, and he was glad Bifur could not see him. An angry hobbit was not a pretty sight, and Bilbo was furious at Otho. The little… awful person had mocked Bifur. Mocked him in a way that the dwarf hadn’t found insulting, because his kind didn’t see disabilities as something shameful, but hobbits did. Bifur might not have been hurt by it, and Bilbo knew that what Otho had said was ridiculous, but the hobbit still saw the intensely aggressive intent. And he couldn’t just let it go.

“Leave the door open,” he asked Bifur. “And don’t wait for me, I might come back a little late.”

/Be careful./

“I always am.”

Bifur laughed again, and Bilbo couldn’t really blame him for it.

  
  


It was easy enough to get into Otho and Lobelia’s place. Even they did not usually lock their door, suspicious of everyone as they were. You had to have some trust in hobbit nature after all, and they were _not_ burglars. But Bilbo was.

A burglar with a cause, even.

And that burglar silently slipped into his cousins’ bathroom, where he found a multitude of products. Luckily, the couple were just as possessive within their own house as they were out of it, and so every single ointment, balm and cream was neatly labelled with its effect and name, yes, but also the name of its owner. Bilbo ignored everything belonging to Lobelia. He had little love for the woman as a rule, but she had done nothing wrong for once, and had even made her husband shut up after a while. There were rumours about a sister her family had hidden…

Lobelia had done nothing wrong. But Otho…

Otho, of course, was very careful about his looks. A bit vain, one might even say. And there was nothing wrong in wanting to look good of course, but Otho sometimes went a bit far with it, and he had more products than his wife. Bilbo looked at them, opening this or that, smelling, checking the uses. Sometimes, he took out of his pocket a little vial, and let a few drops of liquid fall into a shampoo, a balm… so that in the end, no matter what Otho would use in the morning, it was almost certain he would pick up something that had been… _arranged_.

At one point of his work, Bilbo feared being discovered. He heard noise coming from his cousins’ bedroom, and Otho’s clumsy footstep came toward the bathroom, stumbling with drowsiness. Bilbo stopped breathing and carefully put back the little bottle he’d just taken, and seconds away, Otho came in. Bilbo took a few steps backward, not breathing, not touching anything. It would be a good joke for everyone if his plan succeeded, but if he was caught in the middle of it, then the joke would be on him. He’d be Mad Baggins for ever and ever, and what little respect he had managed to win back would be lost for ever…

But Otho did not notice anything. He barely seemed awake at all, in fact, and had only come to make use of the toilets. Bilbo turned away, and waited for his cousin to be done. Once Otho was safely gone to bed again, Bilbo breathed again. He did not linger long after that, too nervous for it. Otho was one thing, but if Lobelia woke up, she might notice that something was going on. So Bilbo made sure everything was in its rightful place, that he hadn’t left any traces. He left his cousins’ home and went to his own, were Bifur was awake and waiting for him.

“I told you not to wait,” Bilbo playfully scolded him.

/I am a dwarf, we obey orders only when it suits us. Did everything go well?/

The hobbit nodded. He described his near encounter with Otho, miming his cousin drowsy manners to make Bifur laugh. But the real laugh, of course, would come later.

  
  


It was the talk of the Shire for weeks. Otho Sackville-Baggins and his bright green hair and face. He’d made it to the market that first day before realizing that something was wrong, and then he’d remained hidden for a full week, waiting for the colour to go away. Lobelia was furious, it was said. Not just about the prank, but also that her husband had appeared in public looking that way. It didn’t help of course that people kept asking her if Otho was turning into a vegetable, and if she thought he would become a cabbage or a pumpkin.

And everyone had their theory about what had happened of course. Much to Bilbo’s surprise, he never was on the list of suspects, even though it was known that he had little affection for his cousins.

/You are a great and fearsome adventurer who made friend with wizards and dwarves/ Bifur told him. /They must think that you would have turned him into a newt instead of playing a childish prank on him./

“Are you insinuating that I am childish, master dwarf?”

/I would never. I am saying it plain and loud: this was childish. It doesn’t mean I don’t like it. You seem to be having so much fun with this./

Bilbo laughed. “I am. And green looks good on him, doesn’t it?”

/It sort of does/ Bifur agreed, laughing and kissing the hobbit.


	98. Ri family- cuddles

Dori came home, a little later than usual, and saw that Nori was there. Specifically, Nori was on the couch, curled up against the arm rest. Ori was there too, leaning against him, his arms wrapped against their brother’s waist.

Without a word, Dori put away the apple pie he’d bought on his way from home. If he’d known Nori would be there, he’d have picked the apricot one. Apples would have to do. And maybe before that, they would have some chicken and chips from that take away place down the street. He would have to see with their mother when she’d be back. Their finances were not at their best, but if Nori needed cheering up, it would be a small sacrifice.

That would be later, though. For now, Dori went to sit on the armrest and put his arms around Nori’s shoulders, holding him close. That his brother did not even try to protest was proof that things were bad enough. After dinner, Dori would try again to ask what had happened. Nori never answered, but that was no reason to stop asking. But later, later. For now Nori needed silent comfort, arms around him to be reminded that he was loved, Ori’s face pressed against his side, and Dori’s fingers in his hair, smoothing it gently.

When their mother joined them at last, Dori realized that she must have dropped by the house before he’d arrived: she was carrying a paper bag that smelled of greasy, spicy chicken and chips.


	99. Ori&Dwalin - you missed your calling

It was always so entertaining to watch little Ori get into arguments with dwarves three times his size. Somehow, there were always people who seemed to forget that the boy had survived through a perilous trip across Middle-Earth and a battle that had claimed the lives of many far more experimented warriors. They looked at him, with his big cardigans and his clumsy haircut and his big, innocent golden eyes, and they thought it meant they could mess with him and not get in trouble.

A terrible mistake that was because 1) Dwalin was often nearby, ready to jump in if Ori ever needed help 2)Ori never needed help and never minded using violence once he noticed that someone was trying to make fun of him.

That night’s asshole got away with a broken nose and a black eye, and that was because Ori had been in a good mood, and because Dwalin managed to get the boy out of the tavern before the fight got bad.

"I was managing quite well you know," Ori protested as Dwalin walked him home. "I had the upper hand."

"Yeah, you had his hand, and you were biting it."

"He’s touched my bottom," Ori grumbled, and Dwalin nodded. If he’d known, he would have let the boy kick ass a little longer, but they couldn’t go back to the tavern now. It would have meant they were looking for trouble, and king Dain might not have liked it.

"You know, I think you missed your calling, kid. You shouldn’t have been a scribe. Should have been a berserker."

Ori pondered that for a moment, then shook his head.

"No, I think it wouldn’t have worked. I like fighting, but if it became a job rather than a hobby, it might take the spark out of it, you know? Besides, I _like_ being a scribe.”

"Bet you do, kid. And I can’t really imagine Dori’s face if you told him you want to quit everything and become a furious blood thirsty killing machine."

Ori chuckled. “He’d ask where I got the idea, and I’d have to tell him, and he’d kill you. Sorry. You were a good friend. I will miss you. I promise to bring some of Bilbo’s cookies on your grave, if that helps.”

"As an offering?"

"Yeah. But I’ll eat them though. No reason to waste good biscuits, right?"

Dwalin laughed, and agreed that it would be the best way to do things


	100. Nori/Bifur - give me your hand

"Give me your hand," Nori asked one night, because he was bored and Bifur was sitting next to him. "I’ll tell you about your future."

The other dwarf looked remarkably unimpressed, but he held out his hand anyway. Immediately, a few members of the company started looking at them, expectantly. It had been a calm evening.

“This line here has crossed and circles, means change and _danger_ ,” Nori whispered slowly, and he heard Kili gasped nearby. “See how these lines are crossing? Now that, that means there is more than one sort of danger you will face. Won’t be only your life that’s at risk.”

A quick glance around told Nori that everyone was listening now. Bifur, however, remained rather calm, almost amused.

“This, here… this is your heart line, and look how it’s crossed by that other one, right at the end!” Nori almost whimpered, making himself shake in fear. “This is terrible! This is the greatest danger of them all! It means… M’al, can’t say. Too awful! The omens… oh! Terrible!”

“What is it?” Bofur asked.

“You’ve got to tell!” Ori pleaded. “What do you see?”

“I see…”

Nori moved closer to Bifur, pulling the other dwarf’s hand on his lap, raising it close to his eyes to inspect it.

“I see… yes, I see it clearly… and it will happen tonight! I see… I see a kiss!” Nori exclaimed, before leaning toward Bifur to kiss him soundly on the lips.

There was an explosion of shouts, and at least three different people slapped Nori on the shoulder, but he didn’t care because Bifur might have been chuckling, but he was still kissing back.


	101. Ori/Fili - where the fuck did that clown come from

It was not what Ori had expected when he’d suggested they watch a film together, but it was still entertaining. The film was an old one, that story with an evil town and the killing clown. It was not his favourite, and quite frankly he didn’t find it all that scary, but Fili’s reactions to it were priceless. The blond boy kept screaming every time anything happened, or even sometimes when nothing at all was happening.

It was more fun to watch than the film.

“Where the _fuck_ did that clown come from!” he squealed during one scene, before jumping on Ori’s lap and hiding his eyes against the younger boy’s neck. “Tell me when he’s gone?”

“He’s gone now.”

Fili risked a look, but screamed and hid again as a close shot of the same clown appeared on screen. Ori chuckled, and that earned him a poke in the ribs.

“This is treason!” Fili grumbled. “I’ll never trust you again.”

Ori just laughed louder, and held his boyfriend tight to comfort him.

“Next time, we’re watching The Ring,” he decided. “It should be a lot more fun than this.”


	102. Ori/Fili - can we pretend I did not just say that?

Ori gasped, and put both hands on his mouth, staring at Fili in horror.

"Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?" he begged, just sober enough to realize how utterly ridiculous he was.

The prince was staring back, his mug of mead still halfway toward his mouth. Ori could vaguely hear the rest of the company laughing and joking with Beorn, but as far as he was concerned, the world only contained him, Fili, and these words he could not take back.

“You want to do what to my what?” Fili mumbled. “I mean. I mean. What do I mean?”

“I say let’s forget it,” Ori replied. “It’s the mead. Too much sugar and too much good and it’s making me talk to much and I should stop.”

Fili frowned. “No but. Can you repeat ‘cause. I didn’t hear well. But if I heard, I think I want it. Like. Fucking mordor yeah, if I heard well, I’m _way_ into this.”

Ori nodded blankly, and just to make sure, he repeated his careless words. Fili too nodded, and smirked.

“You know,” he said, “everyone’s busy here. Means there’s, like, the entirety of the rest of the house with no one in it. Is a big house. Lots of spots to hide.”

“What about th’noise?”

“You can gag me.”

“Deal,” Ori whispered breathlessly, licking his lips in anticipation.


	103. Bilbo/Thorin - chocolate

"What is that horror supposed to be?" Thorin asked, glaring suspiciously at the mixture Bilbo was making.

The hobbit stopped mixing his preparation and stared at his husband in disbelief.

"You’re not serious, are you?"

"I’m very seriously wondering what this thing is. I thought hobbits had no magic, and yet look at you, making dark potions in your own kitchen…"

Bilbo stared at him some more, torn between amusement and horror.

"Dearest, that’s nothing magic. It’s chocolate. It’s _very_ good. A bit expensive, we keep it for big occasions, but it’s delicious. Here, try it,” he suggested, waving his spoon in front of the dwarf.

"I absolutely refuse to taste that thmfgr!"

Never one to take no for an answer when it came to food, Bilbo had just shoved the spoon in his husband’s mouth. As he often did when Thorin decided to be ridiculous about food.

"It’s not bad," the dwarf reluctantly admitted. "May I have more?"

"No, you may not," Bilbo retorted with a smug smile. "They’re for the party tonight. But I might agree to trade another spoonful for… let’s say five kisses."

"Ten, and we have a deal."

Bilbo laughed, and handed the spoon to Thorin.


	104. Later - Nori/Fili

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori has trouble sleeping with Fili

The worst, Nori sometimes thought, was when they slept together.

Not meaning _sex_ of course. Fili nad him had started having sex pretty much right away. Sex was no problem, but actual sleeping was, and it'd taken Nori months to not leave the bed as soon as they were done. Fili had suggested that he was allowed to stay. Once. Twice. Then he'd just accepted that Nori didn't want to, and he hadn't insisted.

It had taken months before Nori could bring himself to stay the night with that pretty little prince. Fili had slept happily. Not hadn't.

The problem was trust. _Fili's_ trust.

It was easy to forget about it the rest of the time, when they were laughing together, or plotting for the good of the Longbeard. It was even easy to pretend when they were fucking, because the Maker knew if Nori had fucked plenty of people he didn't fully trust. And it wasn't often that he'd had to kill someone during sex but it had happened, he knew it was possible, so sex was, in a way, safe.

But sleep.

Sleep was a weakness. Sleep was when assassins struck. There were some people who could defend themselves even asleep, warriors who had the survivor's disease... but even they would not usually react to the presence of someone they knew, someone they trusted.

It was all an art, getting close to someone. Making sure they liked you, loved you, trusted you. You had to start liking them too, at least a little. Most people felt it if everything was fake. You had to like them, but sometimes you went too far and ruined everything.

Someday, Nori would have to tell the truth to Fili, all of it. The contract, the plan, the change of mind... and then the trust would end.

But later, later.

Nori was not ready yet to lose that trust.

Later, later.

Maybe if Thorin really took them to Erebor, maybe then Nori would confess everything.

Later.


	105. Thorin - Anonymous Love Letter

The letters all came in the mail, with a proper stamp, but no return address. Inside, there was no name either, just a few sheets of paper upon which were written tender words.

The paper often brought a smile on Thorin’s face before she even started reading. It was the sort that a child might use. The first time it was blue, with little waves and dolphins on the margins. The second later had tropical fruits and birds, and was a pretty yellow. The third was a bright pink, with several iterations of a little character that Thorin remembered seeing somewhere, though she could not recall its name. The fourth was green with big red hearts everywhere.

The handwriting was neat and careful. Whoever wrote these letter was used to writing by hand, and to do it well… something not many people in the younger generations had learned to do, and yet she would have been surprised if her mysterious admirer had been more than 30… if not closer to 20. It wasn’t only their choice of paper; there was something innocent and tender in these letters, something that felt very much like a first love… and Thorin knew she should have felt wary about this, when she was close enough to 50 herself…

But the letters made her feel young too, just as young as whoever sent them. Reading these careful words of affection that always remained polite made her want to buy all the silliest blocks of papers she could find, and write back to this unknown lover. She wished they had not sent the letter by post. It would have been so much easier to contact them if they had dropped the letters in person, she could have left an answer on her mailbox or on her door… She could have tried to wait for them and see who they were… but at the same time, it made her happy that this person, who claimed such love for her, still had the delicacy to respect her privacy enough to not invade her home.

So far, her admirer hadn’t asked to meet her, saying that he wouldn’t dare, wouldn’t presume… and Thorin wished she could tell him that he should presume. She wanted to meet him. She would meet him, as soon as she figured out how to contact him…

And she would figure it out.

She was Thorin Bloody Oakenshield.

She’d faced worse challenges than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has been waiting as a draft since march oops?


	106. Nori/Dwalin - Honeymoon

"The table?"

Nori grunted. “First night here. I still got bruises.”

Dwalin rubbed his husband’s back gently, and pulled him closer.

"Bathroom?"

"Done already in the shower, and told you I don’t like the bathtub. Not sure you can even fit in it."

"Can fit anywhere if I’m patient enough," Dwalin retorted, which got him a playful tap on the shoulder.

"No bad jokes," Nori warned. "This is serious business. It’s our last damn night in this suite, and there’s  _got_  to be one place here where we haven’t fucked already.”


	107. Fili/Ori - sleepy cuddles

There was movement in the bed, which was most likely illegal at such an early hour, so Fili threw his arms around the moving thing to make it stop.

There was a surprised squeal, then a fond sigh, followed by an attempted escape and then, another sigh.

"Fee, I have to be going."

Fili grumbled something, and tightened his hold.

"Fee, Dori is going to kill me if he finds I didn’t come home last night."

Fili replied something. Something to encourage his lover to stay a little longer, certainly. Possibly a tirade on the fact that Ori was a grown dwarf, legally an adult, and allowed to spend the night wherever and however he liked, Dori be damned.

It didn’t matter what he was trying to say, because it was too early for words, and Fili just managed to groan a few sounds before pulling Ori closer. It was early morning. Ori was warm in his arms. He could see no reason to let go.

Ori stopped struggling, probably remembering that it was impossible to escape Fili’s hold when he was sleepy, and cuddled back.

"I damn swear that if Dori kills me, I’ll murder you."

Fili didn’t react, already asleep again.

**Author's Note:**

> don't hesitate to send prompts at http://thecutestscribeoferebor.tumblr.com/  
> uwu

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Smokey Taboo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1159312) by [Veraverorum (your_Mother)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_Mother/pseuds/Veraverorum)




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